Dusk Curse
by Riasha
Summary: Kagome and Sesshoumaru are opposite in every way. The only thing they seem to have in common is a searing attraction.
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE: Night and Day

Two families existed in a place far from civilization, a long, long time ago. Two exact opposite families. Names had long since been lost, and now they were simply called the Sun and Moon families. They were bitter adversaries, arguing every point, every thought, and every opinion. The Moon family was rich and prosperous, but the Sun family was happy in their rags.

If the two families met, they were sure to cause problems. Mostly they stayed apart, their habits and tastes keeping them apart. And yet, two people felt themselves drawn to each other in the middle of this chaotic mess. The youngest daughter from the Sun Family, and the oldest son from the Moon family. She, being the aggressive one, slipped him a note asking him to meet her at dusk in a neutral place. Soon, that became their secret meeting place. But they did not know that they were being watched.

Raya and Nocte (Pronounced Ray-uh and Nock-tay, respectively) sat in the dusk of evening. They were sitting intimately close, clearly lovers or soon to be that. Raya's head leaned down against Nocte's shoulder, and his arm was wrapped securely around her waist. They turned to look at each other, Raya with a happy smile, Nocte with his usual passive expression, though his eyes held a tenderness that many had thought did not exist. They kissed passionately, hotly.

A rustling in the bushes went unnoticed by them, and then a figure jumped out, a maniacal grin on her face. They sprang apart, an instinct from meeting in secret.

"Raya! Filth! My own daughter is betraying her family." The woman raged. Raya's eyes showed true fear.

"No, mother…"

"You are laying with the beast! Are you not?" Raya could not answer; her mother did not wait very long for one. "Just as I thought! You betray your family, and in turn you shall pay!" The woman screeched.

"No, Please, mother, I love him. And he loves me." Her declaration hung in the air.

"Love? What do you know of love?" Her mother sputtered.

"I know it. It is an obsession, and deep, aching caring, and this magnetic attraction. It all adds to this wonderful, lasting feeling."

"You do not know of what you speak. Love is no such thing. Now come girl, you must be purified of this beast." Raya's mother sent a disgusted look at Nocte and then beckoned her, but she did not budge.

"I am no beast, woman. You, madam, are the beast, for trying to interfere with your daughter's happiness." Nocte said with even maliciousness. Raya's dam turned imperiously on him.

"Do you still betray your family? Will you not redeem yourself, Raya?" The woman said coldly, staring at Nocte despite the fact that her words were directed at her daughter.

"It is no betrayal. Loving is not betraying." She answered. The woman turned slowly to her daughter.

"Then suffer you shall. Light and darkness do not belong together. The sun and the moon shall always stay apart." The woman raised her hands to the dying light of the sky.

"Opposites cannot unite as long as this is true. As long as the moon and sun are opposite, there shall be born a woman and man to mirror them. A woman and man reincarnated from the very woman and man who betrayed their families. They shall be exact opposites, fire and ice, passive and aggressive, dark and light. During the time when light recedes from the sky and darkness takes it over, that moment when neither is prominent, they shall be of one mind. With a sealing kiss, they shall be destined to fall into bleak pain from the love they share. Only if they can overcome their differences can they ever be together and break the spell over their souls. Until then, they shall suffer."

A light engulfed the two lovers and they reached toward each other, but the light drew them apart. The light exploded and disappeared into the night. The two lovers were gone. A figure in the bushes watched with a sad look in his cold eyes.

Exactly one hundred years later, a woman and man were born descending from the long-lost Sun and Moon families. They never met, and their lives were filled with misery and stark loneliness. That is how they died. Another century passed. Another woman and man were born, one of the sun, and the other of the Moon. They met, and not fighting the attraction they felt for each other, kissed at dusk when the sky was neither dark nor light. Fights ensued, and they broke each other's hearts through misunderstanding. They died successful, unhappy and alone. And so it went. Another hundred years, and another. None of the reincarnated souls were successful.

Year 1982 rolled around. Another man and woman were born, one of the sun, one of the moon. This is the story of two tortured souls who must try and end a curse that shall otherwise last forever. If they do not, the souls of Raya and Nocte will continue going on, never happy, never resting.

Apart for eternity.

Hello. I know this does not sound all that good, and it may not be. But please take the time to read the chapters I post anyway. It might be better then you think it will be. feel free to email me.

RyuuAngel


	2. Chapter 1

Dusk Curse

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, all formalities and stuff throughout the whole story, simply because I'm too lazy to rewrite it. So for this whole story NO I don't own Inuyasha.

Police detectives all drop their posts around my house and slunk away dejectedly

That's right! Shakes fist at the pigs I DO NOT OWN THEM!! Though I do claim anything that is not indigenous to Inuyasha, including Raya and Nocte, they are both mine.

RyuuAngel

Aka: you and enjoy. 

DUSK CURSE

Chapter 1: 

North Newport, NH

5:55am, June 2nd, 2000

Time goes by just like a fast train. It cannot be stopped, nor toyed with, nor interfered with. People have long believed that it is possible to change events, to travel through time. Modern day science has taken those beliefs and smashed them to little tiny pieces at our feet. Time travel has been ruled as a thing of the imagination, impossible. Or so people think. Storms can blow trees down and cause collisions. A rare storm can tear railroad tracks from the havenous and boundless earth. How will the train go on then? But time is unstoppable, except for a few, the exceptional and unique. Only they know how to cross and interfere with time. Only they can determine what will happen and how to make it suitable to ones desires.

Too bad Kagome wasn't one of those people. If she were, she wouldn't be in the situation she was in now. She would be both carefree and getting excitedly stupid about going to Japan. She would go back and never have met Inuyasha and the rest of the Takahashi family. But no, she was not bestowed with this particular gift, so she was here, living in the now. She cursed her misfortune and grabbed her car keys, scowling at her brother to prevent him from stopping her from leaving.

He just raised his eyebrows and got the hell-out-of-her-way, knowing what she was capable of in this state. She was angry enough to kill with a single look at the moment, and driving may be dangerous to the people who angered her, but really it was the safest way to go. Kagome was always very careful in a car, she was also _very_ capable in one, and respectful of all the rules regardless of her state of mind. He had no worries there, it would blow off some steam hopefully without anyone getting too close to her and be on the receiving end of her wrath. Or that's what he'd like to hope.

Newport, NH 

6:00am, June 2nd, 2000

Sesshoumaru smirked over his coffee. He was sitting in the kitchen at the counter-space next to the stove. It was only 6 in the morning and he had not totally woken up yet, but the strong black coffee was slowly doing its job. He liked to have his coffee strong; it was one more thing that showed how superior to everyone else he was. He could do one more thing better than they could, be that much stronger in will than they were. The sound of regurgitation upstairs made him smirk again and take a large gulp of coffee, efficiently emptying his first cup that morning. He rose to refill it and did not look up when his brother came in, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He gave Sesshoumaru a spiteful look for the smirk and did not say a word. Maybe his hung over brother was afraid something that was still down would come up again.

Inuyasha opened the refrigerator door and took out a jug of spring water. To Sesshoumaru's deep disgust, he lifted the jug to his lips and gulped it down, draining almost a quarter of the full jug. His tangled hair swept behind him like a horribly woven intricate silver shawl.

"Would it really be so unthinkable to get a glass?" He said sarcastically over pouring his coffee. Inuyasha glared daggers at him before chugging another few gulps to spite him so now there was only two-thirds of the container of water left. Sesshoumaru finished pouring his cup, not showing the extent of his disdain.

"Yeah." Inuyasha smirked. "Totally unthinkable." He mocked in a low tone. He put the water back into the fridge and opened the cupboard, pulling it open harder than necessary and causing it to hit the end of its hinge and slam it shut again. He jumped back in surprise and hit the table, almost overturning it. Sesshoumaru deftly saved his coffee and scowled at the insolent bastard.

"Watch it, asshole." He growled before neatly composing himself. "Really, between your lack of elegance, wit and charm I'm surprised you even have a member of the female species willing to put up with you." He sniffed the air, wrinkling his nose. "You had better go and take a shower and a few breath mints and hope she doesn't notice this time." He said, feigning brotherly concern. Inuyasha strangely did not get angry at the direct hit and instead looked incredibly sad. He seemed to be ignoring him, which was strange in itself, and his out-of-place look was positively giving him the creeps.

"She already caught me, last night. I was… with Kikyou, at the bar." Inuyasha admitted distantly. So that was the reason for the difference in attitude all of the sudden, actually as soon as he mentioned his girlfriend, Kagome. Something deep inside of Sesshoumaru jumped up at this new development and surged with hope. He suppressed it furiously, hating himself for his weakness. It hadn't always been that way. At first he'd seen her with his brother handling him marvelously, managing to keep him under her control without being obvious about it. She would subtly lose and in the end, somehow win. He had held a grudging respect in her ability, as much as he did not want to admit it.

When his brother had first hurt her, Sesshoumaru had scorned her and said what an idiot she was for going back to him and giving him another chance. And every time she gave him another chance this feeling of scorn toward her left and was replaced by a deep loathing for Inuyasha. He was angry with himself and refused to realize it was jealousy, for jealousy was a weakness. But it made its face plain and eventually he had recognized it for what it was. A horrible weakness. But there was more to his weakness: hope was added to the equation. Whenever he heard of their fights, a new feeling took hold of his being and his heart soared with the false hope of something. Why he did not know, perhaps it was hope that if she was gone, this weakness would also leave. But a deep part of him wondered if he thought it was because he would have a chance, his chance, with her. He suppressed this thought with all of his being, but it would not die, and haunted him constantly. But he was the master of disguise, and she would never know.

"You really are impossibly stupid." Sesshoumaru said and took his coffee cup up to his room to read through his college plans. He was applying to quite a few colleges, maybe all of that would take his mind off of this stupidity that tortured him. He knew it was hopeless to think so, but he was sure as hell going to give it a go, and make it work. He was determined to forget her, especially since she would be leaving soon. She was moving to Japan for her college education. She hoped to become a Japanese/English translator, if he remembered correctly. He pounded the thought out of his mind; he should not know these things about her. He should not! God Damn this weakness in him! He gazed out the window and happened to notice a particularly familiar red car coming down the road from up on top of the hill. Something within him, uncontrollable and to him hideous took over his brain.

Newport, NH

6:15am, June 2nd, 2000

Kagome gripped the steering wheel tighter as that damnable forsaken house came into view. Fuck Inuyasha! She didn't need that jerk! He was nothing, nothing at all to her. He wasn't even worth _thinking _about. She clenched the steering wheel even tighter as she came closer to the gigantic house and tried to force her gaze from it, but it was impossible. The window to his room was dark, he was either still sleeping off his hangover, or he was not there. Not there… so he would be with that Bitch. Her cousin was everything she wasn't: beautiful, sexy, confident with men, skilled, graceful, smart… The list continued. Kagome blinked tears from her eyes and noticed a figure emerging quickly from the house and felt her throat catch. Silver hair, golden eyes…

He was… Not Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru lifted an arm up in signal for her to stop, apparently wishing to speak with her. Her foot threatened to fall on the gas pedal, but her conscious stopped her and instead she eased off the gas and tapped the brakes. When she had come to a complete stop in front of the house she had never wanted to see again she rolled down the window in order to talk. GOD she hoped he would make this quick.

"Did you want something?" She asked, her voice as cold as ice. She immediately felt bad; she had been mean to the guy unprovoked. Not that he was ever nice to her.

His eyebrows rose. "I take it you are not in the best of moods." Before she could reply to that, he continued. "I thought you weren't due to leave until June 21st?" He asked. She did a double take, wondering how he could have known that she was leaving, but then figured he must have heard it from Inuyasha. Damn Inuyasha, even now she was thinking about him!

What she didn't now was that Sesshoumaru was damning himself with each fact he knew about her.

"I was. Not that it's any of your business." She fidgeted; her fingers tapping the steering wheel, and then clutching it, wishing to god it were Inuyasha's neck. What she'd like to do to him…

"Where are you going? You will be back in time to go to Japan." He ignored her anger and his cold voice sounded somewhat concerned in her ears. Here she was, being a bitch, and he was still being nice. Damn her! It wasn't HIS fault that his brother was such an ass.

"Yeah, I'll be back by then. I was just going for a road-trip. Only two weeks." She forced herself to sound pleasant and apologetic instead of bitchy. Her voice came out sugary sweet, fake.

"You packed light?" The question jolted her out of her sudden, adrenaline filled anger. Pack? She smiled and shook her head.

"I was in… a bit of a hurry." She smiled wryly.

"Because of my brother." He implied. Her mouth opened in shock. How did he, how COULD he know? Unless, he got on better with Inuyasha then she thought? Did they actually talk?

Sesshoumaru damned himself again.

"Inuyasha told you?" She felt ready to boil over. Names for him went through her mind, but none of them seemed to fit. She couldn't settle on any single one.

"He said that you caught him last night with Kikyou. Again." Kagome felt like wringing his neck, her eyes felt hot and ached. She could feel the moisture building in them and cursed him for making her cry. Again.

"That asshole." She whispered. She glanced up at the house, trying to burn him with her eyes if he was in there. She wished she could…

"Do you want some company?" Guarded. Why would he ask her that? He sounded impenetrable, and protected. If only she could have such nice walls. Why would he want to come with her? She couldn't have him come; he sure as hell wouldn't help her any. As her mind thought up an excuse, her lips were forming different words.

"Sure. Why not? If you're packed when I get back, you can come." What the hell! Where had that come from? She didn't need to deal with an emotionally blocked guy right now, especially Inuyasha's brother!

She opened her mouth to take it back and felt wetness on her arm. Another drop descended, making her pull her arm in. She peered at the sky and noticed dark clouds forming overhead, pouring out their accumulation. The drops were coming slightly faster now. Sesshoumaru's weightless hair was becoming weighted down with the moisture. What a bitch she was, to make him stand there in the rain.

"I'm going home to pack. If you're packed when I come back, I'll take you. If not, I'm going to leave." She quickly rolled up her window to keep the inside of her car from getting wet, just in time. The rain started pouring down, as if the skies above had opened suddenly and decided to wash them clean. She turned her wipers on and watched as they swished the rain away, only to become clouded once again by it. Visibility was minimal as she pulled away and turned around to head back home.

Why did she say that to him? Probably to give him the chance to opt out. That way, he could take back his words and make up some excuse while she was gone. That way, if he wasn't ready, she could leave.

That way, he wouldn't come.

She watched as he walked casually onto the porch, looking oblivious to the fact that he was getting soaked. He saw her watching and lifted a hand in parting. She threw her car into gear and tore away, her tires squealing in protest.

Same place and time.

Sesshoumaru watched her drive away from the safety of his porch. He growled annoyance when he ran his fingers through his now tangled, wet mass of hair. Damn her, it was her fault his hair was wet. If she hadn't made him go out there, if she hadn't made him ask her…

She had made him do nothing! It was not hers, but his own fault. What the hell had gotten into him, asking her that? And why hadn't she refused?

'Do you know why?' The voice taunted. 'Because you were wrong. She is just like very other person, telling you lies to get rid of you. She won't come back.' He stiffened at the voice, but did not contradict it. She wouldn't come back. It was a hoax so she wouldn't have to say no. She took the easy way out; lying.

So why was he going inside to pack? He thought as he opened the screen door and let it slam shut behind him. 'Why am I going to pack, when there will be nowhere to go?' Still, his feet carried him up the stairs and into his room, where he shut the door firmly behind him. It only took him moments to pack suitable clothes for a couple of days, and enough money to last him ten times that long. He was idiotic, mentally unstable, if he thought he was packing for a reason. He neatly folded everything, and then shut his suitcase. It clicked with a finality that made him grind his teeth.

Dammit, she wasn't COMING. Why would she? She didn't like him, or even know him that well. He picked up his suitcase and went into the bathroom, putting his toothbrush into a plastic baggie and then taking his hairbrush and putting them both into the suitcase. He shut the bathroom cabinet and found his reflection staring back at him. His eyes reflected hope. And yearning. He wiped the look off his face and replaced it with nothingness. He picked up the suitcase and went down the stairs, one step, another, then another, and soon he was at the bottom. She wouldn't be here yet. She had to drive home, pack, and then come back here. It took ten minutes to get there, so he would give her a half an hour. It had taken him ten to pack, so she should be here in twenty.

If she was going to.

Fuck it! There was no if! She wasn't going to be here! He stared out the window dully, his eyes brightening if the car that went by was red. Five minutes passed. Three more red cars drove by. Ten minutes more passed. Another four red cars that never stopped. She wasn't coming. Of course she wasn't coming. Another five minutes passed. He was going to stop being foolish and go back up to his room to put his stuff back now. Another five minutes.

His feet didn't move.

North Newport, NH 

6:45, June 2, 2000

Kagome blew out a breath and jumped into her car. She'd already been gone a half an hour; he probably thought she wasn't coming. It was her brother's fault; he'd not been impressed with the idea of her going somewhere with Sesshoumaru, especially spending two weeks with him. Arguing took up a lot of time. She wasn't good at doing two things at once, packing and yelling at the same time was out of the question. How could she give him death glares while her eyes were poring over her clothes?

She started up the engine despite Souta's disproving looks and tore out of her yard, going faster than she was supposed to. She bit her lip when she realized just how much over the speed limit she was going, but didn't slow down. Why, she didn't know. Its not like he was going to come anyway. He was going to make some sort of excuse and she would be able to go on her merry little way, She thought dryly. So why was she speeding along to try and make it there before he would get angry? He didn't matter to her. And at this rate she would get a ticket she couldn't afford.

Still, she got to his house in five minutes flat. An outstanding record for her, since it usually took twice as long. She was only ten minutes late. She pulled up in front of the house and watched the door, waiting. It opened before she was even totally stopped. The rain was still coming down in sheets, but she could still clearly make out the suitcase he was carrying. Wait, he packed? He was… coming? She stared at her hands, unsure of what she felt. She wasn't angry, almost glad. What? Why… she didn't understand anything right now.

A knock on her window made her snap her head up in alarm. He pointed to his suitcase and she popped her trunk for him. She heard him stuff it in and shut the trunk gently. He was sliding into the passenger seat moments later, soaking wet. He looked as though he was trying to pretend he wasn't cold. She reached over and turned her heater on, turning the heat to its hottest, but keeping the fan low. They would suffocate in here if the fan were turned up. She glanced at him to find he was studying her.

"I… didn't think you'd be ready." She admitted. His eyes turned steely cold.

"I didn't think you'd come." He shot at her. His voice was a cool as usual, but not angry. She was hurt, did that mean he didn't want to come?

"Well, then, why the hell did you pack?" She returned. Nothing showed in his face as he leaned closer.

"The off chance that I was wrong. It doesn't happen very often." He was such an ass! She really couldn't deal with this now.

"If you didn't want to come, you shouldn't have asked." She put the car into gear and slammed her foot onto the accelerator. His head snapped back a little, and his expression turned angry.

"It was a simple courtesy to ask. YOU shouldn't have accepted." He countered, and then turned his eyes to the road. "Slow down." He ordered. She shot him a death glare.

"Are you asking, or telling?" She said coldly. His eyes were murderous, but she ignored him.

"Do as I say." His tone was infinitely cold, and it made her even angrier.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do!" She pressed harder on the gas pedal, only letting off it to go around turns. She glanced at him, hoping to scare the asshole, but his expression never changed. Instead of making her even more pissed, it seemed to sober her, and her brain finally started to come back. Her foot eased off the petal, and soon they were only a little over the speed limit. She gave him a guilty glance, and found him once again studying her.

What in the world was wrong with her? Why was she letting him get to her like this? Oh, hell, but why did he have to be such an ass? She summoned all of her patience and courage.

"Listen, since we're doing this together, we might as well TRY to get along, right? I'll promise to be civil if you do. But I want a sincere promise." She was staring at him seriously, her eyes darting from him to the road. Finally he let a small smile touch his lips.

"I didn't wish to anger you." He said. She just raised her eyebrows.

"Really? I couldn't tell. No, ignore that I said that." She grinned apologetically. "See, you made me do it again. I know we got off to the wrong foot, for some odd reason, but there's absolutely no reason we can't be friends." She gave him another meaningful glance. "None at all." She muttered.

He stayed silent. She drove along and wondered if he was going to answer her. After a few minutes she gave up and concentrated on the road, thinking about turning the music on. But then she would have to ask him what he liked, and she didn't feel like talking to him right now. She was seriously considering turning around, or kicking his ass out of her car and roaring off. But she knew she would never do it, though the image of it made her feel pretty damn good.

"I apologize." His silky, soft voice cut through her nasty thoughts and made her blush when she realized what she had been thinking about. The last one had something to do with tying his leg to the car and letting him dangle as she drove at about 70…

"Apology accepted." She said, her voice fakely sweet again, her matching smile making him look twice at her. What was she hiding?

Kagome did her best to smile and look cheerful, but his eyes held mistrust and weariness. So she gave up and sighed, letting the smile fall from her face. She relaxed her death grip on the steering wheel, but she could still feel his eyes boring into her from the passenger seat.

"Where are we going?" For once there was nothing commanding about his voice, it held mere curiosity. She blew out a breath. Well, where WAS she going?

"I was just trying to get out of town. I figured I'd go wherever the road took me. Does that bother you?" She slid a glance his way, to find him once again studying her. It unnerved her that he could stare at her like that without feeling the least bit guilty when she caught him. She was so used to Inuyasha, who would look away if she happened to catch him looking at her. It felt weird to be scrutinized so closely, so openly. To be judged like that and know she might not measure up. She wanted to, badly, to be good enough in his eyes. It was just an instinct to try and be good enough in other people's eyes. Anyone who said they didn't care what anybody else thought was lying, everybody did, at least a little. Some more than others.

She wasn't going to lie and say she didn't care, because she did. She wanted to be liked, to be likable, and to be able to like that person in return. So she tried to be what they wanted her to be. She had her limitations, she was herself, but she didn't openly flaunt things she knew they didn't like. It was in her nature to try and fit in with everybody else, and this was one person she couldn't do it with. If she were like him, they would fight every moment. She didn't yet know WHO he wanted her to be, and she found herself being something she wasn't used to, herself. The way she would be without any outside influences. It disturbed her, but there wasn't much she could do, except learn what he liked.

"What music do you listen to?" She asked nervously. Her words broke the tension she had sensed from him and he leaned back into his seat, twisted so he was facing her slightly.

"I'm agreeable with most music. Except rap, that isn't music. It just these hoodlums trying to rhyme really fast with a musical rhythm." He motioned to her car radio. "Put on what you like." He seemed to be waiting to see what she would do.

And Kagome didn't quite know. What station would she listen to if there was no one who wanted her to listen the lyrics to this song so they could discuss it? Or buy this CD so they could play it while they were in her car or at her house?

She reached for the radio and flicked through stations, finally stopping at variety station, KLB 101.5.

'For the best variety…' 

She watched as Sesshoumaru frowned at her choice, but she was proud of herself. This was her favorite station. Since she had so many friends, she liked everything. This station was perfect. The Matchbox Twenty song Unwell filtered through her speakers and she turned it up. Did she like this song? She supposed so, she liked the lyrics. She liked the beat of it too. It made her want to sing, but she dared not to with Sesshoumaru in the car. So she listened intently to try and learn the words of the song better.

'_All day, staring at the ceiling_

_Making friends with Shadows on my walls._

_All night, hearing voices telling me_

_That I should get some sleep _

_Cuz tomorrow might be good for something._

_Hold on, I'm feeling like I'm headed for a _

_Breakdown, and I don't know why._

_But I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell_

_I know, right now you can't tell._

_But stay a while and baby then you'll see_

_A different side of me_

_I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired_

_I know, right now you don't care_

_But soon enough your gonna think of me_

_And how I used to be_

_Me_

_Talking to myself in public_

_And dodging glances on the train_

_And I know _

_I know they've all been talking about me_

_I can hear them whisper_

_And It makes me think there must be something wrong_

_With me, out of all the hours thinking_

_Somehow, I've lost my mind. _

_But I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell_

_I know, right now you can't tell_

_But stay a while and baby then you'll see_

_A different side of me_

_I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired_

_I know, right now you don't care_

_But soon enough your gonna think of me_

_And how I used to be_

_I been talking in my sleep_

_Pretty soon they'll come to get me_

_Yeah they're taking me away._

_But I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell_

_I know, right now you can't tell._

_But stay a while and baby then you'll see_

_A different side of me_

_I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired_

_I know, right now you don't care_

_But soon enough your gonna think of me_

_And how I used to be_

_How I used to be, yeah_

_How I used to be."_

She smiled as the song ended. Yes, she liked that one.

"I hate that song." Sesshoumaru was glaring at the radio as if he could melt it. Kagome felt shock and sadness go through her that she wouldn't be able to enjoy that song while he was around.

"You like it."

Was she that obvious? Damn.

"No I don't." She lied. "Why would I like a crazy song like that, all about him being nutty and stuff? Its stupid." Her lies came out smoothly; she practiced daily, after all.

"I saw your face. You wanted to sing it. You cannot lie to me." His smug smile made her want to wring his neck all over again.

"Why, are you the expert on lying?" She shocked herself with her icy tones. And immediately regretted what she'd said.

"Listen." She said, feeling truly bad. "I didn't mean that." She smiled at him. "Sorry." She reached over and touched his arm, trying to communicate with a touch how bad she felt for saying that. He jerked away from her like one would after touching a hot stove. She snatched back her hand.

"I didn't burn you." She said defensively, almost hurt to realize he didn't want her to touch him.

He wished she hadn't had to do that. She HAD burned him, in a way she would never know, because he would never tell her. Her one, soft touch had branded him, it was a feeling he would not soon forget.

"I didn't ask for an apology." He answered her, his voice angered. She drew further back from him, almost afraid. He never got angry, he was always cold and uncaring, sometimes amused, but never angry. Perhaps a tad annoyed, but never angry. She kept repeating that, over and over. He must really dislike her touch if that's what it took for him to be angry. She felt her face grow warm and her eyes sting.

"Am I that repulsive to you? Am I that disgusting?" Her voice almost broke, but she shut herself up, determined to not let him know how much that had hurt her. She would never tell him.

Sesshoumaru couldn't believe how far she had taken that. Repulsed? Disgusted? Not in her dreams. If she knew the truth, she would be the one that was disgusted. He loathed himself for his weakness for her. He could feel the drawing sensation that pulled him toward her, but he resisted it with all of his pride. She would throw him out of the car and drive away as fast as possible if she knew the truth. If she knew that her simple, comforting touch had made his skin burn and tingle, his stomach flop, his legs weak and his thoughts jumbled. Dammit, how the hell had he gotten himself into this mess?

"I do not want your apologies. You are not disgusting, or repulsive, so put your naïve mind to ease." His voice was laced with sarcasm, undiluted sarcasm. She bristled.

"You don't have to be like that. I don't care how you feel about me. It doesn't matter." She didn't sound so mad, nor so icy, but still slightly so. He sighed, resigned to the car ride. She hadn't taken him seriously, and it was his own fault, he had sounded so sarcastic she thought he had meant that he found her extremely repulsive. Dammit all to hell. Maybe he should just tell her he didn't, and mean it, it didn't matter if she was disgusted with him, she was right now anyway.

He tried to think up the words to describe it to her. His mind was spinning, his pride trying to stop him. He couldn't admit a weakness. Not to anyone. Not for any reason. He didn't care, she somehow had become more important. Somewhere in all of those fights she had had with Inuyasha, he had started taking her side, started wanting her to feel better. He wanted to protect her, to make her feel good, instead of used and hurt.

He couldn't do it. He wasn't man enough to. Another weakness, he couldn't even stand the thought of her refusing him, so he wouldn't give her the chance. What a weak man he was becoming, how insecure and frivolous.

Kagome drove and drove. And suddenly, she knew where she was going. She remembered her last time there with Inuyasha, when they had watched the sunset. It was still a ways away, and if they stopped to get food, they would get there just as the sun was setting. That would help calm her.

She didn't know why Sesshoumaru disturbed her so much. His silence, his anger, his whole manner rang false. He wanted to talk, but he wouldn't. She hated the fact that he may be disgusted with her. It ate at her, bothered her. Very few people really disliked her, including Kikyou. And when someone didn't like her, she had to know why.

She would not admit that one of the reasons that he disturbed her so much was because of how much she was attracted to him. She wouldn't let that thought even fully establish itself.

Well, that was the first chapter. I hope you liked it.

RyuuAngel


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Confused

Keene, NH 

5:30PM, June 2, 2000

Kagome pulled into a McDonalds and pulled into the drive through. She kept her voice carefully neutral as she asked Sesshoumaru for his order and then placed it, along with hers. She drove around the corner, paid for it, and then waited in line to pick it up. Soon the car in front of them was moving away with their food and she could pull forward. She picked up the food, handed it to Sesshoumaru, and drove away without saying a word to him, making sure she didn't look at him.

After pulling into a mostly empty parking lot, she finally turned to him and looked pointedly at him, waiting to be handed her food, while she unbuckled her seatbelt. He returned her look without a word for many moments before fishing her Big Mac out of the bag, along with some fries. One thing she did like was McDonald French fries. She took her food from him, placing her drink in the cup holders after taking a sip out of it. She opened her food and ate it quickly, remembering that she had not had breakfast or lunch. Her burger was soon gone so she started on her fries. They were dwindling by the time she was somewhat satisfied. She polished them off and looked at her salty, food covered fingertips.

Sesshoumaru couldn't believe anybody could eat so fast. She acted like she was starved. He finally finished his burger just as she ate her last fry. He watched as she bundled up her trash, put it on the floor, and then looked at her salt covered fingertips. He had the strongest urge to take her hand and lick off every grain of salt, but he reprimanded himself firmly for even thinking it.

His eyes jerked in their sockets as she slid her finger into her mouth and licked the salt off, smiling. He felt himself getting warmer and warmer, his body shook. His mind was playing images of her tongue licking certain places on him erotically instead of her finger. He bit hard into a French fry.

"Have you heard of a napkin?" He snapped at her. Her eyes turned up to his, and she gave him a defiant look before running her tongue even more slowly, even more erotically down her finger, not knowing how she was seducing him. How much she affected him. He almost groaned out loud at her deliberate slowness, the way her eyes stayed on his, the way her tongue…

He reached across and grabbed her hand, jerking it towards him, making her lean toward him. He was leaned forward as well, inches from her face, inches from that so very kissable mouth.

"Do you have any idea what your doing?" he growled, his eyes burning. Kagome was afraid. Did her manners bother him that bad?

No, that couldn't be it. She looked up into his amber eyes and saw raw heat in them, burning, staring straight into hers.

Was it just her, or did it get really hot in here all of the sudden?

She suddenly realized how very close they were, and her eyes fell from his eyes, and stopped on his lips. Full, beautiful lips. They were like none she had ever seen before. She could see every crease, the moisture on them. A few grains of salt from the French fries. And she so wanted to taste them, to see if they were as good as they looked. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, his strong shoulders were so close, the rest of him falling slowly away from her to where he sat in the seat.

"What AM I doing?" She asked, remembering his question. The grip on her hand slackened, but she did not pull away from him. She wanted to get closer…

Finally her senses returned and she looked back up into his eyes, seeing the infuriation there. The heat she had thought she saw and felt was all anger, not what she was feeling. Nothing like she was feeling. She pulled away and sat back into her seat. Her hand shook as she reached out and grabbed her still cold drink, sipping out of it in an attempt to cool off. She allowed herself a glimpse of Sesshoumaru, but he was sitting back in his seat, staring straight ahead.

Sesshoumaru refused to look at her, afraid what he had seen had been his imagination.

Imagine, he was afraid, afraid of what he thought he had seen. The only thing he had ever been afraid of in his life was being wrong, just this once.

A few minutes later she started the engine and put the car into gear, driving out of the parking lot and starting into the same direction as they had been going.

For almost two hours neither of them had spoken, staring straight ahead. They had not shared any glances, or checked to make sure the other wasn't watching them. Both of them kept their eyes on the road as if their lives depended on it. The sun was approaching the horizon when Kagome began climbing a steep hill. Ten minutes later, she pulled over to the right side of the road where there was a decent parking place. She got out and stood for many moments, considering not sharing this with him. Her goodness prevailed and she walked around to the car.

Sesshoumaru was surprised when there was a knock on his window and then the door was being opened. When he saw the creature standing before him, his breath left him. The sun setting behind her haloed her, making her look angelic. Her dark hair swirled in the breeze and caught the last rays of the sun in it, turning parts of it golden. Her face was thrown into shadow, making her seem mysterious. Her shapely body was outlined by the golden colors behind her. He could feel the heat from her body, barely a few feet from his.

"You're going to miss the beautiful sunset here on the edge of Mt. Monadnock." She said and stepped aside, implying that he get out. He did, if only because he was so shocked still by her appearance at his door. He stood and shut the door. He watched her walk ahead of him, her hips swaying, her hair fluttering. Almost in pain because of how much he wanted her, he followed her slowly, only watching her in the last rays on sunlight, not caring less about the nature's beauty. She stopped at the edge of the cliff and sat against a rock, watching the sun with a slight smile.

"Its so beautiful." She commented. He slowly, gracefully sank down beside her, as close to her as he dared to get.

"Yes. Very." He agreed, looking out across the horizon, but glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, his meaning not the same as hers. She glanced at him, but what he had meant was lost on her.

He lifted his hand to brush a lock of hair out of her face, but saved himself at last second and instead pushed his own hair behind his shoulder. His elbow brushed her shoulder; he could feel it from the tingles in his arm. When he put his arm back down at his side, their shoulders were touching, ever so lightly. He felt her tense up, but she didn't move away from him. He could see the sparkling horizon, the way the leaves shone from the latest rain, the trees, the orange glow. And yet all he could think about was the beautiful creature beside him.

Kagome felt the slight brush of their skin and nearly jumped, it felt like lightening going down her spine. As they sat together their shoulders were barely making contact. She sighed, if he was trying to apologize, he was doing a damn good job. She hadn't expected him to come and sit next to her, especially not this close to her. She might as well try and start over again as well, she really did want to be friends with him. She had an urge and thought maybe since he didn't seem to mind touching her anymore…

She scooted closer to him and rested her head to the side so it rested on his shoulder. She could feel his blood rushing under her ear and feel the play of his muscles as they tensed. When he didn't move she spoke.

"I don't know why we keep having these stupid fights. I don't want to. I'd like to be friends with you, but every time something happens that makes me want to throttle you. I don't know why, but I do know that I'd like it to stop." She said, her voice low and light. His muscles stayed tense, but he wasn't moving. He didn't answer her, so she picked her head up and looked up at him, feeling from their closeness the heat of his body. Sensing and feeling her move, he looked down at her and their eyes caught and held, as if magneted together, and trying to move closer to each other. They were only inches apart, their bodies touching.

She couldn't seem to move, her eyes, her limbs, not even her tongue would obey her. His eyes held something that held her motionless, they called to her, and they seemed to see into her. She felt drawn closer, and still irresistibly closer. She felt, but never registered, when his hand touched her arm and rubbed it gently. He seemed to be getting closer, and closer, his eyes looking bigger. Her eyes focused in on his mouth again, that wonderful pair of lips. Her hunger to taste them overpowered her; she licked her lips and leaned closer still, until their lips brushed. It was soft and sensual, and sent jolts of electricity running through her. She pressed herself closer, this was not good enough. The hand caressing her arm now took a hold of it, and he pulled her closer, up onto his lap, until her upper body was pressed against his. Her tongue ventured out to taste him, his lips, and then the inside of his mouth. His hand ran down to grasp her leg; he pulled it over his lap so she was straddling him.

Then his tongue was doing its own tasting, her lips, her mouth. He nibbled at her like a man starved. His hard muscles beneath her felt so hot, so hard, and yet so right. His arms were around her now, holding her tight, pulling her deeper into the kiss.

Then suddenly it dawned on her, that she was on top of him, they were kissing, and he was certainly not objecting. She trembled, more from the force of her passion than anything else. Her stomach was scurrying, her whole body felt weak, yet incredibly powerful. Her chest was rising and falling against his, her pulse was erratic and strong. When she moved slightly, angling closer, he groaned. His hand slid slowly down her body, grasping her thighs, pulling her closer. She could feel his arousal against her, driving her to new heights. She felt damp and aching.

He certainly didn't seem to be repulsed or disgusted by her now. Not at all. Her thoughts turned. Then why had he pulled from her when she had touched his arm in apology? Had he just been surprised? But it had been more than that, like, well, like she had burned him.

What if… what if she had? What if that was what had been bothering him? Guys were said to think about sex every eight minutes. She had never taken Sesshoumaru for the type, but he was a guy. What if, –She blushed at the thought- What if he had been turned on by her?

His hands were kneading her rear, causing it to tingle and send heat straight to that spot in between her thighs. She moaned when his hand dipped lower and applied pressure.

Suddenly, her shoulders were in his iron grip and she was being forcibly pushed backwards, onto the dirt. She landed hard on her ass, her teeth slamming together. Her whole body felt cold from the lack of contact. Her vision cleared and she found him leaning against the rock, his back to her. She could see by the heaving of his shoulders that he was breathing heavily. His hand on the rock even seemed to be shaking. She stood slowly, her gaze never leaving him. She wanted to do something, anything.

"Sesshoumaru?"

He turned when he heard her voice, knowing he couldn't hide the animalistic hunger in them. What shocked him was that the same emotion was reflected in hers. She seemed uncertain, her actions slow, her breathing rapid and uneven. She took a step towards him. Stopped. His jaw clenched. He was wrong. Any girl would be turned on if they were kissed like that. She was not exempt. He felt the disgust she must be feeling, the anger.

"Why didn't you stop me?" He couldn't help but ask. He wanted to know why her good sense hadn't come into play. Was she afraid of him?

"Stop you?" She echoed, looking shocked. Why would she stop him? She wanted this, didn't she?

"You should have." He turned from her, hiding himself from her. The last vestiges of sunlight turned his silver hair golden. She hesitantly walked to him, stood behind him. Her hand could not stop itself from reaching up, stroking his hair, loving its silky texture. It slid through her fingers. He was tense, worse then tense, he seemed to have frozen. She pulled her hand back. He took a hurried step from her and turned, his eyes angry, but still heated. Maybe the heat wasn't as she thought. Maybe she was wrong. As the thought took hold, so did her hurt. Why would he kiss her like that if he were still disgusted by her? Not some kind of apology…

Her spine straightened in anger and hurt.

"You DO think I'm repulsive." Her voice was utterly cold, and hurt deeply. His angry look faded and something close to shock replaced it. Repulsive? What was she, in denial?

"Listen to me." He took her shoulders in his strong grip, trying to make himself clear. "You are not repulsive. Not at all." His voice, now deep with feeling, made shivers go up her spine with its huskiness. Her mind tried to sort through what he was telling her. But it didn't make sense. His arousal, his melting kisses and touches, coupled with his reactions, the way he looked at her, and the things he said. Nothing made sense. Utterly confused, she looked up to the source of her confusion for answers. His eyes did not help her any.

"You don't… your not…"

"No. Isn't that obvious?" And now he pushed her away again. She was still so confused.

"Then, why did you push me away?" She asked quickly, pushing her advantage. She had to know. She stepped up to his side, laying a hand on his arm. And this time he did not flinch, he did not pull away. When he looked at her, his eyes glittered.

"Isn't that obvious as well?"

"No. Tell me."

He didn't get her, not at all. She should be running away, trying to get away from him, not pressing him for answers. He saw the innocence of her gaze, she truly didn't understand. It was obvious as hell in his eyes. He wanted her, he would devour her, crush her, hurt her. And he didn't want to do that. Besides, if she was responding to him, really was, then it was caused from stress, the recent breakup, not an attraction to him.

He had to tell her something, but not the truth, at least, not the whole truth, never the whole truth.

"We shouldn't, that's why. You're stressed from your recent breakup. And I'm a guy. I'll take what I want, and you'll be the one who gets hurt." He broke from her grip then, making his way to the car, straining his eyes in the near darkness. If she hated him, then fine. It was a tactful lie, a lie that would keep her from knowing the real truth, that he was weak. He had already admitted one weakness to her, that he was attracted to her. She didn't need to know the rest of them. And he would make sure she never did.

Kagome just stood there, shocked, angry, relieved, and grateful, all at once. She was shocked at what he had said. She was relieved that she definitely didn't repulse him. She was angry with him for pushing her away. And she was grateful to him, for thinking of her. Her recent breakup. He thought… oh god. He was trying to protect her. Warmth for him spread in her belly, in her chest, not the same kind of warmth as before, but a happy, slow warmth, not heady and fast.

She started toward the vehicle he disappeared into. She opened her door, looked at him, but he was staring into the semi-darkness. She sat down, closed the door, and strapped on her seatbelt. She started up the car, turning the headlights on, and pulled out onto the road, heading into the nearest town, called Jaffrey. She drove through the town, found a promising looking building, and pulled up. She cut the engine, and still silence rang on. She popped the trunk and undid her seatbelt.

"Wanna give me a hand with the luggage?" She said lightly. His gaze locked on her momentarily, piercing her. But she was getting out of the car, not waiting for his answer. She pressed the lock before checking to be sure she had her keys, and then shut the door. She waited and watched while he got out and locked his door as well before closing it. She walked around to the back and pulled open the trunk and pulled out his suitcase, handing it to him when he came up from the front of the car. Her fingers deliberately brushed his as she let go, making the contact last as long as possible, before quickly turning so he wouldn't see the blush on her cheeks and pulled out her own suitcase. Hopefully it was dark enough…

She looked up at him; he looked slightly confused, and a little unsure.

The truth was, he was confused as all hell and more than a little stupefied. He was absolutely certain she had done that on purpose. Was she… trying to tell him something? Dammit, he hated being confused. It was another weakness, anything not understood was weakness. And he hated weakness more then anything.

She was shutting the trunk, slamming it just enough to be sure it locked. She turned toward the front of the building they were parked in front of and headed into it. He was trailing behind, grabbing the door from her and making sure it closed silently behind him. Finally he looked around, trying to figure out where they were. Apparently it was some kind of cheap hotel. His sense of pride immediately objected.

"What is this place?" he asked, his voice low and scornful. Her tone when she answered him was cheerful.

"What I can afford. It's called the Judia Hotel." She was headed toward the reception desk. He stopped her with his grip on her upper arm. His knuckled brushed her soft breast and he almost tugged her against him, and then almost let go. But he grit his teeth and turned her to him, but kept the distance between them.

"We can do much better then this." He growled. She just tipped her head to the side, trying to understand him.

"No, we can't. I didn't count on you going, and I only have enough for a one-bedroom cheap place, and only enough to go for a week with the cost of food and other possible necessities. So this has to be it." She explained it gently, matter-of-factly. He let her go, but kept her pinned to the spot with his gaze.

"I'm not such an ass as to make you pay. I have money as well. We can go somewhere else." His voice was softer now, and not as angry. But there was something behind it that she couldn't exactly recognize. Well, actually, she couldn't even begin to interpret it.

"Unless you're rich, we can't." Actually, if she remembered right, he was rich, the huge mansion he and Inuyasha shared spoke of that. She went on hurriedly. "Besides, we're already here. So lets just stay here and next time we'll stay somewhere better." She took his hand, the one that had fallen from her upper arm, and tugged him toward the front desk. He followed her, putting up a light resistance to her. She knew that if he wanted, she couldn't have budged him. She took that as grudging acceptance and smiled at the male clerk behind the desk.

He was rather dirty looking and though tall and dark, he was not handsome. He had a day old scraggly beard, and a slight potbelly that spoke of his alcoholic tendencies. He was looking her up down, as if measuring her, and she immediately began to dislike him. The way his eyes lingered on her breasts angered her, but her smile stayed on her face. Her voice was sweet when she spoke.

"Hi. Do you have any rooms open?"

When he spoke, his voice was very unsophisticated. "Yeah, we got one. It's got one bedroom, a TV, a bathroom, and a couch. Oh, yeah, and a mini-fridge. Yah wannit?" Kagome didn't like the way he was looking at her at all.

"Do you have two rooms? Or at least, two beds?" She asked. The guy's suggestive glances were giving her the creeps. When he realized her implications, he now assessed Sesshoumaru. (Though NOT with the same intensity) His gaze went down to where she was still holding his hand, and she dropped it.

"You two ain't together? Coulda fooled me. Not that I'm complainin." He grinned at Kagome in such a leering way that she had to force herself to stay pleasant. "Naw, we only got the one room with the one bed."

"I'll take it." Kagome said immediately, before Sesshoumaru could say anything.

"What?" Sesshoumaru sounded shocked behind her.

The guy looked disappointed, but then he grinned. "Ya know, yer welcome ta stay at my place." He was waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Kagome, and she lifted her chin. She was about to speak when…

"We are all set, thank you." Sesshoumaru's voice could have sent a baby crying to its mother, it was so cold and scary. She could feel that he had moved up to stand right behind her, the heat from his body was wafting to hers. The guy behind the counter only looked mildly surprised.

"Fine. It 55 for the night." He held out his hand to receive the money, and Kagome dug in her pocket. Sesshoumaru's hand stopped her and he slipped out a hundred and gave it to the guy.

"I'll pay." He said lowly. She bristled.

"I don't need you to pay for me. I can take care of myself." She turned to the clerk. "Give him back 65. I'll pay for my twenty." She turned back to Sesshoumaru. "And I'll owe you five." She said firmly.

"You owe me nothing." He countered, but took back his sixty-five. She just sighed exasperatedly and picked up her suitcase, taking the key the clerk gave them and reading the number. 35.

"Third floor." The clerk told her. She nodded her thanks, giving him a quick smile, and headed toward the elevator. She stepped into it and pushed the number three, watching as the doors closed after Sesshoumaru stepped in. They rode in silence up through the second floor. Time seemed to tick so slowly. Finally the light above the door changed to the number three and the elevator stopped. It opened and Kagome breathed easy. She could have sliced through the tension in the elevator with a knife. She gulped, trying to regain her composure, and looked up the numbers on the doors.

The first one on the left was Thirty-one. The one on the right was thirty. She stepped off, making her way down the hall, thirty-two on the right, and thirty-three on the left. Their room was on the next left. She shoved the key into it and listened while it clicked as she turned it. She opened the door and pulled the key out, going in, knowing Sesshoumaru was right behind her. He set his stuff down next to the door and shut it, locking it. The final click of it made a spiral of fear go down her spine. She shook it off and set her stuff on a chair. The room was small, and needed air. Suddenly, she felt suffocated, stuck. A sudden and unbidden case of claustrophobia hit her hard, making her dizzy.

"I'm… going for a walk. I'll be right back." She started for the door, her eyes fuzzy. His hands closed over her arm before she could make it outside. Her hands were fumbling with the lock. He pulled her away from it.

"The hell you are. This place is dangerous." She felt a funny pull of happiness that he cared, but she had to get out.

"Listen, if I'm not back in 15 minutes, you can come looking for me and then do whatever you want to me. Promise." She tugged out from his hold and went back to work on the door.

Sesshoumaru's mind was fuzzy with thoughts of what she had said. '_Do whatever you want to me.'_ An image of him stripping her naked and fucking her senseless came rushing to him, but he pushed it away with fury. That was not what she had meant. By the time he was thinking clearly again, she was shutting the door; the key in her hand so she could get back in just in case it was locked. He swore heavily, but didn't go after her. Instead, he looked at the clock and started counting the seconds.

Kagome leaned against the wall once she got outside. She breathed in the fresh air, thanking god for it. Slowly her head cleared and her heart stopped pounding. She held her hand to her chest. She NEVER got claustrophobia. She wasn't even sure that's what it was, since she had never had it before. She pushed herself away from the wall and stared out into the darkness, welcoming it. She stayed like that for many minutes.

"Hey sexy." The voice behind her made her turn quickly, but it was only the guy from before, still staring her up and down.

"Hello." She answered.

"Ya know, it's a good thing you came back down. Saves me the walk." He grinned. She quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah, I uh, accidentally told ya the wrong price. The room was only 40." Her expression cleared and she smiled.

"Well, thank you for being so honest. But you can keep it." She started to go back inside, and he followed her, taking her arm and stopping her. How many times today had someone taken her shoulders, her arm, or something to either try and get a message through to her or stop her? She smiled wryly and turned to face the guy.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Uh, I can't do that. If the money don't tally with the register, we get in trouble. So I gotta give it back to yeh. If you'll just foller me right back here, the register's closed up for the night and the money's back here." He motioned her into a room behind the front desk and she followed, wondering why he didn't just pocket the money for his habit. Even now, she could smell alcohol on his breath. He lead her into the room and she walked in, wondering where in the world they put money in here, when she heard a click she spun around, suddenly afraid again.

This time, she realized, her fears were not unfounded. Of course, he lured her in here… for what? It became clear as he stalked closer to her, his eyes scary. She backed up until she hit the wall behind her, fear slicing through her.

"What the… you tricked me." Her eyes must have shown her terror. She worked to suppress it. "Let me out. Now please." He ignored her, coming still closer. When she could stay still no longer, she made a break, lunging to the right. Despite the alcohol in his system, he lunged for her, grabbing her quicker then lightening and throwing her back against the wall. A loud scream emitted from her throat, blasting from her lungs.

He yanked her hair back and pressed his body into hers, repulsing her. She tried her damnedest to push him away, but when she did, he yanked harder on her hair, making her cease her motions in pain. Oh god, he was going to rape her.

"Stop fighting, and you'll enjoy this, pretty one. I wont hurt you, as long as you do as I say." He leaned close to her, kissing her lips. She kept her mouth closed, and he moved on down to her neck, leaving slobbery trails down her neck. His hips ground into hers. She flinched in disgust and shrank away, trying for one last-ditch effort. Please let him come, please let him hear me, she thought as she screamed.

"SESSHOUMARU!!!"

He slapped her across the face. "Bitch!"

END CHAPTER TWO. hope you enjoy my efforts. Please feel free to email me with anything, questions, comments, and/or ideas. I hope to hear from you.

RyuuAngel

REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!!


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Jaffrey, NH 

9:02 PM June 2, 2000

Sesshoumaru looked at the clock. She had been gone exactly 13 and a half minutes. Anxiety filled him, made him stay on his feet, pacing back and forth. He wished she hadn't left and put him in this state. She could get hurt outside by herself. Hurt, or worse.

Dammit, he was going to kill her! He opened the door, his control lacking as the clock only registered that she had been gone 13 minutes and 49 seconds. Dammit, close enough.

He made certain the door was unlocked and flew down the hall and into the elevator. He pressed the ground floor and watched as the doors slowly shut. It seemed an eternity before the damn thing moved, and then even longer before it stopped again. He thought he heard a voice, a tuneless noise that resembled a scream in his ears. But in his restless state he might be imagining things. He waited right in front of the doors for it to open, about ready to bust out of them. Finally they opened and he burst into the lobby, looking wildly around. She wasn't there. Maybe she was outsi…

The noise in the room behind the lobby desk got his attention and he noticed the guy behind the desk was gone. He heard definite noise in there and crept toward it, listening. What he heard made anger and jealously boil inside him. Kagome, he knew the sound of her voice anywhere. And the guy behind the counter. His lips pealed back in a feral snarl. The whore… he was about to turn away when a shattering scream made the snarl disappear and pure terror to take jealousy's place.

"SESSHOUMARU!!!"

He acted without another thought, standing back and kicking the door as hard as he could. It fell right off its hinges and crashed to the floor. He didn't wait, but jumped right over it and came across the room so quickly he wasn't even sure he believed it. He grabbed the guy on Kagome and threw him across the room, watching as he landed hard against the far wall and hit his head. His eyes fluttered shut and stayed that way. He was about to go over and check to make sure the guy was out when something hit him hard in the chest, not real hard, but enough to make him step back to regain his balance. He looked down to see Kagome sobbing against his chest, her arms wrapped around him. He felt his anger with her dissolve and tender concern take its place.

"Are you hurt?" he asked. She shook her head back and forth and held onto him tighter. He could feel the quaking fear ebb through her. He hardened his mouth into a thin line and reached under her chin to make her look up at him. He looked her over, and from what he could discern, she seemed to be okay, just scared. He wrapped an arm around her and started to lead her out of the door, but her feet seemed wooden. He sighed and startled her by picking her up, swinging her legs up over his arm so they rested in the crook of his elbow. His other arm held her tightly around the waist. She attached herself to him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. He tried to ignore the sweep of blood to his loins when he felt her hot breath tickle his neck.

He started out the door and then went to the elevator, thinking only of getting her calmed down. He realized he didn't have a free hand to press the button and instead redirected himself toward the stairs, making his way up them easily, even with her extra weight. The stairs took less time then that fucking elevator anyway. Soon, they were standing into front of the door. He set her down and opened it, but she was stuck to him again. He maneuvered her through the door, and then turned to shut it.

"Kagome, do you still have the key?" She took a few breaths and pulled back away from him, forcing herself to calm down. God, she had never been so scared in her life. She had felt so much safer in his arms, warm and secure. She dug the key out of her pocket and handed it to him, not moving while he locked the door. He turned back to her, his face unreadable, but his eyes told her he had been worried. He went around behind her and took her gently by the shoulders, directing her toward the bed. Once there, he turned her around and pressed down on her shoulders, forcing her to sit down. She allowed herself to be directed and sniffed while he sat down next to her. She tried to gather and compose herself, but it wasn't working well.

"Kagome." His voice steadied her, and she looked up at him. "I need you to tell me what happened." She gulped and shook her head. She couldn't, it was too fresh, she didn't want to.

He shifted closer to her and cupped her chin with his hand, forcing her eyes back to his. He had to know what happened. It was eating at him. Had He lured her in that room to take advantage of her? Or maybe she had even known what he wanted and only backed out of it when the guy couldn't -or wouldn't- stop. Looking into her eyes, he couldn't believe it. She wouldn't do that.

"Please. Tell me what happened. You went down the elevator, why did you feel the need to go for a walk?" He started for her, trying to make it easier. She took several breaths.

"I looked around the room, and I suddenly felt really claustrophobic. I had to get out. I went outside, and started to feel better. The air helped a lot. I don't know why I had the attack; I never have had claustrophobia before. Anyway, I was just thankfully breathing in the air when I heard the guy from behind the desk. He was being really weird, not quite openly flirting with me the way he was before." She shivered and he wrapped his arm around her. She scooted closer to him and laid her head against his shoulder, feeling much better, much safer as she did.

"He said that he had given us the wrong price and that the room was only 40 bucks. I told him to keep the change and he said he couldn't, because the register would tally up wrong with what they had. I should have known then. Why wouldn't he just pocket the rest, rather then putting it into the register? But no, being the idiot I am, I followed him into the room behind the desk because he told me the money was back there. It took me until I got the middle of the room to wonder where in hell they put money in there. God I can be so dumb sometimes. I heard the click of the lock and I knew…" She stopped, taking a deep breath and burying herself further into Sesshoumaru's broad chest, her safety.

"He came toward me, he didn't say anything, but I could tell. I told him to let me out. I was backed up against the wall. And he was still coming closer to me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I tried to get away, but he grabbed me and pinned me against the wall, grabbing my hair and yanking every time I tried to move. He told me to stop fighting and that I would like it and that he wouldn't hurt me as long as I did what he said." She shuttered, remembering the next part, and not wanting to say anything. But she needed to tell him. It was horrible reliving her terror this way, but telling it to him somehow made it better.

"He… he kissed me, and then went down to my neck. He was so close… and then I thought of you, and I screamed for you. He got mad and slapped me, and then the next thing I knew there was a loud crash and he was gone. And you were there. You heard me, and you saved me." She stopped her speech to look up into his eyes. "Thank you." She said softly, reaching up to kiss his jaw gently. Then she cuddled herself back against him, loving the way he felt around her. A thought insinuated itself into her mind and she felt the need to tell him.

"If I had listened to you, had we done as you said and gone to another hotel, that wouldn't have happened. I should have just complied with your suggestion. This never would have happened." She felt tears of self-loathing and anger at herself well in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them flow, blinking quickly. She suddenly noticed how mussed her clothes were, how dirty she felt. She could feel his dried saliva on her neck. She got up off her savior and stood, albeit a bit unsteadily.

"I want to take a shower and scrub him off of me. I feel disgusting. I… I don't want to ask you for anything else…" She looked away. He stood next to her and tipped her chin up.

"What? Say it. I can only say no." He reminded her. She smiled wanly at him.

"Would you stay by the bathroom door? I know, the room's door is locked, but… I don't know. Its stupid. It wouldn't make any difference if you were in front of the bathroom door or anywhere else in the room." She shook her head but he forced her to look back into his eyes once again.

"It will make a difference to you, so yes, I'll stay by the door for you." Her smile of thanks made what he said worth the effort. She seemed to want to say something else, but finally she just turned away and went over to her bag, opening it and taking out pajamas. He saw a flash of light blue, but that was all he could tell about it. She pulled out her shampoo and then started for the bathroom, checking to make sure he was coming over to the door. She went in and turned around to watch as he pulled up a chair close to the door. He faced her, holding the door. She was about to speak, but he cut her off.

"I'll be right here. Take your shower." He ordered, and then shut the bathroom door. He sat down, planning on keeping his word. He heard water running a moment later, and then he heard her get into the shower. Immediately his mind captured the image of her surrounded by steam, water running down her naked body. He almost groaned aloud and tried to wipe the image from his mind, but it wouldn't be extinguished.

After almost eight minutes of struggling, he heard the water stop and her step out of the shower. He sighed relief, thanking god she hadn't taken one of those traditionally known as females showers; at least twenty minutes. He didn't know how long he could have held out before he would have gone into the bathroom and attacked her the same way that guy had. Another ten minutes passed and then he heard her voice.

"I'm coming out." She told him. He moved away from the door and waited. It opened, letting out a mist of hot steam and Kagome walked through it, toweling her hair. She was wearing a large, light blue t-shirt.

And by the looks of it, nothing else. He turned away, this was too much.

"Put something else on." He ordered. He could feel her confusion behind him.

"Why?" Her voice quivered. He turned back around, glaring at her for all he was worth.

"Because your not the only one in this room, dammit. And no matter how safe you feel with me, I'm no different than that guy who was going to rape you." She flushed, but she didn't go into her bag. Instead she stepped toward him, closer, only feet away now.

"How are you like him?" She tipped her head up to look him in the eye. His hand whisked out to grab hers and he brought it to his zipper. She could clearly feel the bulge there, ramrod hard. She trembled, but didn't pull out of his grasp.

"That's how." He let go of her hand, throwing it back at her. And she inched closer to him.

"Do you plan to grab my hair and yank it? Threaten me? Force me?" She asked him, her voice high and louder then she intended it to be. She was so close now she could feel the heat from his body. God how she wanted to touch him. But she didn't.

"No, I don't plan to. I don't want to, but I'm goddamned close to doing it." She could feel it too, his control was quickly evaporating. Finally she dropped her eyes and stepped away, backing away and to the other side of the bed, where her clothes were. She pulled out a pair of comfortable shorts and went into the bathroom, pulling them on. They were long, and they just barely showed up under the long hem of the shirt. The shirt was huge, going just above her knees, like a short dress would. She sighed, not understanding, but supposing it had to do with knowing there was nothing under there rather than seeing.

She came out of the bathroom and went straight up to him. "Is this better?"

He scrutinized her, shaking his head, she was close enough that he couldn't see the shorts and she lifted up the shirt, showing him. Some of the tension lines in his face relaxed, but not all of them. She felt like a young girl going out on a date, her parents checking her clothing to make sure it didn't show too much of her body. She laughed at the thought.

"What?" Sesshoumaru asked gruffly. So she told him, watching as his manner smoothed some and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"I don't know why I thought of that." She concluded. She smiled shyly at him. "Now I know why they wouldn't let me out of the house with certain clothes though. Imagine if they had…" Immediately her mannered sobered, and so did his. They were both thinking that if she had gone out in those kinds of clothes, things like what happened downstairs might've happened again. She frowned, and decided to change the subject, blinking tiredly.

"I think I'm ready for bed." She said quietly. Immediately, she ran into a dilemma. She didn't want to make Sesshoumaru sleep on the couch, but she really didn't want to either. She wondered if maybe, well, the bed was really huge… But he would never agree to it. Maybe if she…

She lay down on one side of the bed and wrapped the covers around her. Sesshoumaru went around to the other side and grabbed the pillow, and then the extra blanket on the end of the bed. He reached to turn the light off but she caught his hand.

"No, please. I… I wont be able to sleep." She claimed. She made her voice as frightened as she could. He looked surprised, but let his hand fall to his side. "I… I imagine you won't be able to sleep with it on." He looked down at her, and slowly nodded his head. She tried to keep her breathing under control. "Then, we seem to have a real problem here, don't we? Either way, one of us doesn't sleep."

He lifted an eyebrow. "It seems that way. I could go sleep in the car." He suggested. Kagome felt fear just about paralyze her.

"No!" Panic seized her. "No… don't. Please." This time, there was real terror in her voice. She couldn't imagine staying in this strange room, all alone. She shivered and sat up.

"Shit. This isn't going to work. Well, we could…" She stopped, trying to sound convincingly unsure.

"What? Remember, the worse thing I can do is say no." He reminded her. She smiled up at him.

"Well, oh I don't think it will work." She stopped again. This time she knew she had his interest.

"Just say it." He commanded.

So she did. "What if we both stayed on the bed? I mean, there's plenty of room. I would feel safe with the light off since you were there, and then you could sleep as well." She tried to make herself sound logical. The bed was quite large.

He looked at first like he wanted to flat out refuse. His mind seemed to be working. She watched and waited for an answer. But she didn't get it, not yet.

"Your really still not afraid I might take advantage of you?" His tone was as incredulous as it could get which for him was slightly disbelieving. She decided to give him a small truth.

"You would never do anything that would really scare me." And it was truthful. Something like what happened with that guy downstairs wouldn't happen between them. She didn't think she'd want to stop him if he did do anything even remotely like that to her. And beside the point, she didn't think he'd let his control run out, she didn't think he would hurt her. Not after the way he had come and saved her, breaking down a damn door. He did care about her, she just knew now, somehow. She'd had plenty of doubts before, but between the incident during the sunset and the one downstairs, she was putting two and two together and finally coming up with four, instead of three or five. It felt right.

She saw the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips when she had said that, as if he knew something she didn't. Finally he nodded and went to the bathroom, bringing something from his bag with him. She heard water running, and settled back into the bed. Closing her eyes and snuggling into the bed, she tried to empty her mind for sleep. She almost sat bolt upright when she realized she was alone. She stared into the bathroom but all she could see was the toilet at the far end. He was behind the corner, out of her sight, but he was right there. She didn't know why she was being to stupid all of the sudden.

Just the same, she sat back up in the bed and waited nervously for him to come out and be close to her, where she'd feel safe again. She almost choked with relief when he stepped out, wearing sweatpants. He caught one look at her face and stopped, his eyes concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She was annoyed with herself. Was she truly that transparent?

"Nothing," she muttered, angry with herself. He could tell, and he walked to the bed.

"Tell me." He implored. She shrugged it off, but he stared at her until she answered.

"Its just me being stupid. That's all." He looked surprised at her answer. He glanced at the bathroom doorway.

"You were nervous? Even for just that few minutes? I wasn't far." His voice was so much softer than normal, trying to be gentle, but she burrowed farther into the bed. How did he know her so well?

"Okay. Yeah, I was. I know, its so freakin' stupid. I'm not usually that weak." Her breath shuddered in her lungs. "I hate it." Her last sentence came out a tear filled whisper. Before he could analyze his actions, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, gently taking a hold of her and wrapping his arms around her. She settled against him with a shaky sigh. Her hair was tickling his bare chest, he could smell it, right under his nose, and she used some kind of scented watermelon shampoo. He could feel her crying silently, angrily. But more then that, she was scared, and she needed him.

They stayed like that for a long time. After her tears stopped, she turned a bit to look at him.

"I want to lay down." She said gently, soft. He started to let go of her, but her arms tightened around him.

"No. Please, don't let go." For some odd reason that request seemed like she was asking him to save her. She was pleading with him, but god knew he wanted to save her. If he could. He lay down on the blankets next to her, his arms still around her. She turned so her back was to him and then rested her right arm over his where it draped across her side. He gently moved her hair, smoothing it, and placing in over her shoulder so he wouldn't accidentally lie on it or something during the night.

She shifted until she could feel his body comfortingly against hers and let her eyelids droop. She felt so warm, so protected. And it was all thanks to him. She smiled lightly as she drifted off, thankfully not thinking of the rest of her day, but only how comfortable she was and how happy she was.

Sesshoumaru propped himself up on his left elbow and watched her for a while. She was truly beautiful, and her scent was wonderful, exotic, and clean. He watched her for a long time until he felt the vestiges of exhaustion tug at him and he too slept.

Jaffrey, NH 

10:30 AM, June 3, 2000

Sesshoumaru awoke on his back and realized his vision was blurred. It took him a minute to realize it was Kagome's hair across his face that was making it hard to see. He went to move his left arm but stopped as he felt weight on it, on his whole left side. She was snuggled up against him, her leg draped over his, her arm flung across his chest. He desperately wanted to get up, all the while wanting to savor this moment for as long as he could.

After a few moments he realized he aught to try and shower before she awoke so she would not know she had been alone. He didn't want her to be afraid, not ever. He didn't understand what difference it made whether he was in the room with her or in the next room over, but apparently it bothered her. It was like as long as he was near, she was safe, but if she couldn't see him, she wasn't. He didn't understand why she had chosen him, or why she trusted him so completely. Maybe the fact that he had saved her from being raped had something to do with that. He guessed in her eyes, he was her savior. She would probably be better today, after she had a chance to think clearly about it.

That would also mean that she wouldn't need him, but he would have to live with that.

He carefully removed her arm from his chest and slowly shifted her leg over, until she was lying mostly by herself. He shifted away from her, regretting it as he did so, and then climbed silently off the bed.

She slept on, oblivious to his departure. Well, what did he expect? Her to jump awake and cling to him? He shook his head in slow disdain. He grabbed some stuff out of his suitcase and went into the bathroom, firmly shutting the door behind him.

Same Place, 7 minutes later.

Kagome awoke suddenly in a panic. Her body was shaking, her eyes darting around in terror. She was all alone, the room was shadowed, the doors closed. Silence greeted her ears, a suspicious silence that raised every hair on her neck. The room felt huge and empty, like she was the very last creature on earth, abandoned.

Running water resounded quietly from the bathroom. He was near, he was only in the next room. A huge breath of air rushed out of her lungs, but the hair on her neck still prickled, and the lump of fear in her chest did not loosen. Why the hell was she so damned afraid? It wasn't like that guy was going to come busting in here and…

She didn't finish the thought, but climbed to her feet and found them taking herself to the door of the bathroom. Her hand reached up to knock of its own accord. She immediately wanted to take it back. Dammit, why the hell had she done that, she started to turn away, disgusted with herself, but still shaking.

Sesshoumaru wiped shampoo out of his eyes and whipped his head around when he heard the knock. He sure as hell hadn't expected her to wake up.

"What?" He projected his voice over the sound of the water, so she heard it through the door.

"Your not… Can…" He didn't hear her well; she wasn't speaking loud enough with the water running, pounding on his hair. He stuck his head out of the shower.

"Say that again. I couldn't hear you over the shower." He paused to wait for her answer.

"Could I…" There was a short pause. "Oh fuck it. Never mind." Her voice sounded angry as hell. What could be her problem?

"I'll be out in a second." He said loud enough to be sure she heard it. He quickly rinsed the rest of the shampoo off his hair and body before turning the water off and stepping out. (0.0 - Sesshoumaru naked. Hmmm) All the while his mind was going over their latest, very small conversation. What was going on now, he wondered? He dressed quickly and brushed his hair back before opening the door. When he saw her his mind blanked.

"Jesus."

She was sitting in the edge of the bed, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. She looked like she was trying to make herself as small as possible. Her chin was resting on her knees, and her eyes were wide and searching, terrified. She was still scared?

He strode over and stood in front of her, on the side of the bed. Her eyes jumped up and locked with his, haunted.

"What's wrong with me?" Her voice was barely a whisper; as if she was trying to make sure she wasn't heard by anyone else but him. His heart jumped in his chest and thumped painfully. He didn't like seeing her like this, not at all. He sat down next to her and found himself smoothing her hair on her back, trying to comfort her. How had he come to be in this position, caring about her, trying to comfort her? TOUCHING her? He drew his hand away.

"I believe you may be suffering from some type of Post-traumatic disorder. I'm not sure why exactly, but maybe…" He shrugged.

"It might have been triggered from something in your past. It may have been lying dormant until now, eating at you, and that guy coming at you made it come up and show itself." He hesitated and then figured that since he had passed his High school psychology with flying colors, he might be able to shed some light on why she was so frightened. "Why are you scared when you're alone?"

Kagome froze.

"_Scared when you're alone…" _Her vision was going fuzzy and fear was eating its way up her spine.

'_Your alone…' _She shuddered and held herself tighter. Oh no…

'_Alone…' _

Her vision cleared and she was sitting in a familiar room, the room she grew up in. She was sitting on her purple bed, shaking, for there was a figure in the room. He was standing in the doorway, staring at her. She tugged at her large t-shirt.

"Your mom left hun, so now we're all alone." He stepped farther into her room, closing the door. Cold shivers went down her spine again, and she whimpered.

'_Scared.' _

'_All alone.'_

"What's a matter sweetie, you aren't scared of me, are you now?" She refrained from answering, trying not to shake, not understanding. Why was she so afraid of this man? Maybe it was the gleam in his eyes, the way they seemed to rove over her body, as if imagining things she didn't want to know of. Shivers of intense, raw fear passed through her frame.

'_Alone.'_

When he stepped toward her, she had to fight the urge to run. Run where? She thought.

"Come on, sweetie, you know the drill, get off that bed and stand right here." He was referring to the spot in front of him in the middle of the room. Despite that fact that she had no intentions of moving from the bed, her legs were carrying her over there, and she could see herself in the mirror behind him on the door.

She was shocked to see a young girl, about the age of seven, standing there, looking pale and afraid. It was her! It was her, when she was seven. Oh god, and the man was…

"Come on now hun, you know what to do. Don't make daddy impatient." His words came out so gentle, and she felt tears rolling down her cheeks. Her motor skills were out of her control, her fingers were at the hem of the big t-shirt, and then she was pulling it over her head. In the mirror, she saw a young body, immature. There was a bruise below her collarbone, and another on her upper thigh.

She couldn't look at the mirror anymore, because her daddy's body was blocking it, coming closer to her. She was shaking uncontrollably. She felt a big, calloused hand touch her cheek, her lips, and then her jaw. It kept going lower, over her breastbone, her immature breasts, and down further. She squeezed her thighs together for all she was worth.

"Kagome, I told you not to resist!" His voice came out harsh, hoarse. She found herself picked up roughly and flung onto the bed, on her back. She squeezed her eyes shut and hoped to god he didn't follow her.

God was an asshole, she decided, as she felt her father's weight make the bed dip on her left side. His hand was resting heavily on her knee, and then it was slowly going up her leg, on the inside.

"No daddy, please." She whispered, her legs still clamped together. A sudden slap stunned her.

"I told you not to resist! Now behave! You know better than this!" And she did, daddy had taught her to always do as he said, no matter how much she hadn't liked it. Tears were leaking like rivers down her cheeks and she let her thighs part. She could feel his hand exploring places it shouldn't be, rubbing and touching. When he put his fingers inside her she sobbed aloud. It hurt.

'_Alone.'_

The sound of her name being yelled made her snap her eyes open.

"Mommy!"

But it wasn't mommy that was there. Amber eyes filled her gaze. Amber…

"Sesshoumaru…" His name came out a sob and she lunged at him, hugging him to her with all of her strength. Tremors shook through her, if his arms had not been holding her tightly, she would have shook right off the bed.

Sesshoumaru held her as of he was holding onto her for dear life. He was so worried about her, she had been so afraid, and then her eyes had rolled back in her head and she had gone totally limp. He thought she was dying or something. But her heartbeat was strong. She was breathing fine. She just seemed to have passed out. He tried slapping her face, something, anything to rouse her. When that failed he'd called her name, hoping to god she would wake up.

And she had, her eyes crazy with fear, and then she had grabbed a hold of him like he was the last creature on earth to help her. And he had felt compelled to do whatever necessary to get rid of the fears that plagued her eyes. Her voice was now mumbling incoherently.

"Sesshou… In my room, he was there… I was so scared." She buried her face into his chest. "It was me. I saw myself. And he told me… oh god." She sobbed and then tried again. "He told me to do it. And then he hurt me… he touched me…" And again she stopped, trembling, her breaths coming in heaves.

"Shhh, its okay now. He can't hurt you. Shhh." He tried to stop her, but she ignored him and kept going.

"Threw me… on the bed. I was bad, and he kept touching me. Then… my mommy." She suddenly pulled away from him, looking him in the eyes.

"Mommy finally caught him." She said clearly.

Ohhh. Nother one, all done. Hope you liked. I know, Sesshou is OOC as hell, but my muse controls me, and he wanted it to be like this. Blame him. hope you enjoy my efforts. Please feel free to email me with anything, questions, comments, and/or ideas. I hope to hear from you.

RyuuAngel

REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!!


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Nashua, NH 

11:45 AM, June 3, 2000

Sesshoumaru brooded as he drove, glancing at the catatonic Kagome in the passenger seat. She was staring out the windshield with sightless eyes. Her hair was still mussed and her expression closed. He couldn't believe the difference he was seeing in her. She was starting to make him nervous. Her mumblings from this morning didn't make much sense. He tried to sort them out and understand them, but it was just about impossible, despite the fact that they were imprinted on his memory.

"Sesshou… In my room, he was there… I was so scared."

And then, "It was me. I saw myself. And he told me… oh god. He told me to do it. And then he hurt me… he touched me…" And he had tried to quiet her, but she went on, ignoring him.

"Threw me… on the bed. I was bad, and he kept touching me. Then… my mommy." That was when she had pulled away, finally looking and sounding somewhat clear.

"Mommy finally caught him."

He didn't know what it meant. He put together that someone was sexually abusing her, maybe even physically, and her mother had walked in. But that was all he could get out of it.

"Mommy finally caught him." Caught who? He wondered. But wait, if she had FINALLY caught him, it had been going on for a while, which meant it was someone close to her.

The thought struck Sesshoumaru that he had never heard anything about her father. He wiped the thought from his mind; after all, what father could do that, especially to his little girl?

After he had managed to calm Kagome down enough to make her coherent, she had been very quiet. He had managed to get her to change her clothes and then she sat and stared off into silence. He had picked up the hotel room and packed up their stuff and lead her out, carrying all of their stuff. He had no trouble with her getting out to the car, or getting the keys from her. She had handed them to him without a word and then got in the passenger seat. Her eyes were glazed.

God it was bothering him. Something wasn't right here. He hoped she would work it out herself; he didn't want to have to take her to a hospital or something. That would teach him to think he could play psychiatrist. He'd been told that going about treatment could backfire and make a patient worse, but he'd been too fucking proud and sure of himself, and now it was his fault she was like this. Damn him. Jesus, what could he do? And where that hell was he going?

He turned off the interstate into the next town and found himself in a busy city. Nashua, the sign said. He got out of the middle of town, and within fifteen minutes they were driving along a quiet street. He saw a playground, empty, and in a spur of the moment decision made a sudden turn into it. He cut the engine and got out, grabbing the keys before he shut the door. He went over to Kagome's side and opened her door, and she turned her eyes up to his, but it was like she was looking and not seeing.

"Kagome, can you undo your seatbelt?"

Kagome waded through the sea of noises and realized what he was saying. She slowly reached over an unbuckled her belt, letting it slid back. She turned back in the direction he was, seeing him blurrily through her eyes. She knew he was there, but it never really registered. She concentrated hard on the slow, obscured words.

"Will you get out?" It took her a moment to understand them, and when she did, she slid her leg out of the car, thinking hard to make her legs cooperate. She leaned forward and pushed herself forward. She could hear the wind blow past her ears as she stood. The noises around her were suffocating but she ignored them. She watched as best she could as Sesshoumaru shut the car door. It seemed to move in slow motion, and the noise of it slamming seemed to echo.

Sesshoumaru was moving behind her, and then next to her, and his arm was moving slowly forward and then grasping hers, she could feel as each of his fingers closed on her arm. She didn't resist him as she walked forward. She didn't wonder where they were going, or care. Everything around her seemed to be going so slow, and she couldn't stay with it. She felt dizzy, but she was walking straight. And she did have one coherent thought, and that was to obey.

She found a slowly swinging swing in front of her. The creaks were drawn out and long, squealing it's protest. She found something turning her around, and she realized a moment later it was Sesshoumaru. He pushed on her shoulders and she gave way easily, sitting in the swing, eventually bringing her hands up to grasp the chain that held it. She knew that in front of her was a road, and then on her left was a teeter-totter. Her car was parked, unmoving, diagonally to her right. Then, it was moving, back and forth, like it was drunkenly trying to walk. It hit her a second later that she was the one moving, on the swing, back and forth.

Something large and yellow moved in on the edge of her vision, and she let her head move that way. The doors opened and little kids tumbled in slow motion out of it. They were moving, spreading out to her left and behind her. A few came her way and she watched them as they moved slowly past her and sat on another of the swings. Something in her mind demanded to know where Sesshoumaru was, and it tugged insistently until she turned her head and found him behind her, giving her gentle pushes to keep her swing moving.

Something warm and happy tried to spread in her stomach, a ghost of a smile flitted across her face, and then it disappeared. Something within her struggled to grasp it, to rebel at this half-living state. The warmth squished and then it was gone. Not important. Compliance was what was of importance.

A little boy was playing in the sand, diving a toy soldier into the dirt. Something bad tugged at the edge of her conscious, pulled her until she couldn't see at all for a moment. When her vision cleared, everything was still slow, but her eyes managed to focus slightly, and she saw the little toy soldier fly out of the boy's hand and far away from him. He looked up, following in with his eyes, surprise in them to see it not in his hands anymore. It flew out, and the boy got up, started walking toward the road. The toy landed right on the white, broken line, clattered, bounced, and stopped moving.

Kagome stood suddenly, shaking, terrified, she knew, and then it came. A large truck with a horse trailer on the back came around the corner, going far too fast, but still in slow motion. The boy was moving toward the toy, now jogging, tottering. His steps were slowed, but so was the truck. The truck rolled closer. They were on a collision course for disaster.

This all was seen, but not registered. She knew something bad was coming, that's all that really made it to her senses. She wanted to scream but she couldn't. She wanted to move, to stop it, but her body wouldn't move. Moment after moment, second after second.

Still the boy and the truck moved closer to each other.

Kagome knew she had to do something. She took one slow step toward them, and then another. Strength was flowing back into her. Her vision became worse, but she could feel. Purpose, feeling. It was all in her again, straining to be let out. She could hear her name being called in question, and then suddenly, with a burst of lights and noise and feeling she was free, and she was running, faster then she ever could have normally. The little boy was barely a few yards from the road, and she seemed miles from him. Adrenaline pumped her to even faster speeds, forward, get there, quickly. She had to stop that little boy. The fear tugged at her, all of her thoughts, her normal thoughts were rampaging around in her head.

Then her mind cleared, and she focused in front of her, on the boy who was only a few yards from her. _Stop the boy._

She was closer, and then closer, and then she touched his shirtsleeve. She lunged forward, grabbing it, and then slammed on the brakes, digging her heels into the dirt, yanking the kid backwards, right into herself as she fell backwards she clutched at the kid. She rolled, trying to get as far from the road as possible. Her eyes opening, she hadn't known she had closed them, and she saw tires going inches from her face,

Zoom, one pair of tires. Whoosh, the others.

Then the trailer's tires, the air from them hitting her face, blowing back her bangs.

Whoosh.

Whoosh.

And then the truck was gone. It was okay, she had saved him. The kid was crying about his action figure, and she sat up slowly, aware of someone yelling, and another voice, a woman's, thanking her. She still clutched the kid to her, afraid that she was wrong. Then she realized that it really was okay. She let him go, since he was struggling, and saw him run to his mother. The woman had tears in her eyes and was hugging her son furiously.

Then she felt herself being lifted bodily to her feet.

"What the hell were you thinking?! Oh my god Kagome, I thought you were going to die!" Arms were thrown around her and she was smiling, oh god, she was okay, the boy was okay.

"Sesshoumaru. I had to save the boy. I had to." She pulled back from him and smiled. His face was drawn, his eyes were angry as hell. She laughed. "Oh, I didn't mean to worry you. Oh Sesshoumaru." She picked up her arms and wrapped them around him, loving the feel of him against her. But he was pushing her back.

"Kagome, Kagome. Your okay. Your not… This is the first time you've spoken since earlier. How do you feel? What happened?" He suddenly realized he was rambling and letting on too much and he shut up. But god he'd been so afraid. She'd ignored him trying to talk to her when she had gotten off the swing, and then she'd taken off like a shot, heading in the direction of the truck. At first he thought… oh he thought she was trying to kill herself in front of that truck. But she'd grabbed the little boy by his sleeve and yanked him back to her, sending them both toppling. She saved the little boy. And now she was okay, she was back to normal.

It had taken the near death of that boy to get her out of her catatonic state, and it had broken for whatever reason. Maybe it was the need to help others that had got her out of it.

He didn't care, she was okay. God, she had scared the hell out of him.

"Sesshoumaru?" He turned his attention to her, suddenly finding that he had missed the sound of her voice, and was very glad to hear it now.

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry. I don't think I've eaten anything this morning." He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it, that her first thoughts were about food. The relief of tension made him smile, though he wouldn't let the laugh come out the way it wanted to.

"Lets go eat. Its lunchtime, did you know?" She shook her head and her eyes went wide.

"I didn't. Is it really? I don't care, I'm starving." She tucked her hand under his arm and he turned them back to the car. Kagome felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see the mother of the boy she had saved.

"Um, hello." She looked nervous. "I just wanted to thank you, you could have been killed. It was so close…"Her face was pinched, but then it smoothed out. "Thank you." The woman looked like she was going to cry so Kagome smiled.

"Your very welcome." She turned back to the car and started back towards it, next to Sesshoumaru. In front of the car, she stopped, as he was about to lead her to the passenger side.

"Ut-uh, buddy. My car, hand over the keys. Give." She held out her hand, but Sesshoumaru scowled at her.

"No. Not after all that just happened. Not a chance." Kagome sighed dramatically.

"Look, I know I must have let you drive it before, but I want to drive now. It will help calm my nerves. I like to drive. Now please just give me my keys." The truth was, she had no nerves to calm, and she was calm as could be. Sesshoumaru eyed her, studying her eyes, her stance, the color of her skin, as if weighing the decision. She sighed in impatience. Finally he grudgingly relinquished her keys into her waiting hand. She took them and went around to get in.

"Now for some nourishing food!"

Same place.

12:11, June 3, 2000

Sesshoumaru watched her carefully, but he could see no outright signs of anything being wrong, besides how ridiculously happy she seemed. Her eyes were clear and sparkling, her hands on the wheel were steady, and they gripped the wheel firmly but not clutching it.

"What has made you so happy?" he asked. Her answer shocked him.

"You like me." She gave him a happy, shy smile.

"What?"

"I said, I know you like me. You're not so cold to me anymore. What with everything that was happening, it took me a while to appreciate that fact." She blushed. "And I like you too." She blushed deeper, her eyes shyly straying to him.

Sesshoumaru was thoroughly confused. Such a small detail would make her so happy? What was wrong with her now?

"I think you're delusional." She laughed.

"Don't you remember how at the beginning we were fighting all the time and couldn't get along?"

He gave her a small nod.

"Yeah, well, I think we're friends now, after all that's happened. Don't you think so?" He couldn't stop staring at her. Finally he just shook his head in wonder and looked away. _'After all that had happened.' _Jesus Christ. He let a small smile touch his lips. He stayed silent, but they both knew his answer was implied, and the knowledge made his heart feel light and jittery at the same time. Driving through the middle of town, Kagome made a sudden turn to the right.

"Here we go! This looks like it will do." Sesshoumaru looked at the place they were parked in front of. Jay's. That's all it was called. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out, locking his door. Kagome was already heading to the door.

"Hold it." He called. She stopped, curiosity on her face, and came back towards him.

"Do you have money on your person?" Her eyes went wide and she shook her head.

"Whoops, oh well, it will only take a second to grab some." She went to get it but he stopped her.

"I'll cover it." He told her, his voice firm. A smile played at her lips.

"But I already owe you… um… actually it was seven fifty. I don't want to owe you anymore."

"Think of it as my taking you out to eat. I certainly wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I let you pay, would I?" She giggled.

"I guess not. But I'm not going to let you pay for everything either, I brought money, I can take care of myself." She insisted, slipping her hand in the crook of his elbow again. He gave her a quick look.

"Yes well, it won't hurt to allow a friend to pay for your meal, would it?" She gave him a shining smile. His heart fluttered.

"No, as long as they are a friend, I guess it wouldn't hurt."

From Lowell to Lawrence to Haverhill into Salisbury.

1:30-5:30PM, June 3, 2000

After lunch, they continued the drive, heading further south, and then Northeast on Interstate 495. After three hours, Sesshoumaru was completely lost and starting to get agitated. But Kagome seemed unfazed. She turned off the interstate and kept going on the same road, seeming to know where she was going. Music floated out of the speakers. She had long since found a station that came in good. He just sat back and watched her.

An hour later he rolled down the window, wanting some fresh air. His nose was assaulted by the smell of salty air and he pulled his head back in.

"The ocean?" he asked her. She just gave him a big smile. Within another hour he could see it, rolling in and out. It lapped at the sand, pulling some of the loose golden silt back into the water.

Kagome found a place to park and jumped out of the car, not bothering to lock the door. Sesshoumaru had just undone his seatbelt and reached over and grabbed her keys, then stretched to lock her door. He got out and locked his own door, watching as she stretched her arms straight up, inhaling deeply. Behind her Seagulls swooped at the rolling water. The beach was empty, looking abandoned. He couldn't help but return her smile when she turned to look at him.

"I don't think you had to lock the car. There's no one around."

"I didn't want to take the chance. If the car was stolen, we would have a hell of a time getting back to the nearest town." She shrugged and motioned for him to follow her out to the shore. The water lapped continuously, memorizing. He followed her slowly, unsurely, pocketing the keys. She turned to him.

"Well, come on!" He was shocked to see her stripping her clothes, running toward the water.

"Kagome, should someone come…" He grated out harshly. She turned around, clad in only her bra and panties.

"Are you afraid? Cuz I'll just go by myself then, if you're scared." She was joking, but it hit a nerve. He struggled to stay controlled and joking.

"Scared am I?" He stalked closer to her, and she giggled, running into the water. A hundred reasons why he shouldn't do it crept through his mind, but his hands were unbuttoning his shirt anyway. He shrugged out of it and then slid his jeans off. She stood out of the water, smiling at him, dripping water.

The sun was setting behind her, just like that first time they had shared a moment together. Her body was outlined in golden light and deep blue water, an angel come down from heaven.

He walked into the water, only in his boxers.

Kagome turned and ran into deeper water, striking out and swimming farther. She turned floated back toward shore on her back, and then suddenly the world was darkness.

She came out of the water sputtering, surprised as hell. She treaded water and saw Sesshoumaru a few feet from her, a lethal grin on his face.

"How dare you dunk me!" She gasped, and then lunged at him. He didn't bother to move away, and she grabbed a hold of his shoulders, pushing him down. His hands grabbed her waist out of reflex, and then he pulled her down with him. She just had time to remember to hold her breath.

They both came up and let out a large gasp of air. Kagome shivered.

"The water's cold! She complained. Her hands stayed on his shoulders, and his on her waist. He seemed to notice this and dropped them, swirling them in the water to make sure he stayed afloat.

"The waters up here are. If we were down in Florida, now it would be a bit warmer." He touched her arm. "You are cold, we should get out." She grabbed his arm just as he was about to turn away. He slowly turned back to her, waiting, treading water. She pulled herself closer, and closer still, and reached her hand up out the water and touched his cheek, tracing a line to his lips, her hand shook. She didn't know if it was cold, or something else. He didn't move. She was leaning closer, and she shut her eyes as their lips touched. She pressed their lips more fully together, and then pulled back suddenly. She was blushing deeply, his hands had found their way to her waist again.

"Your cold." He said, his voice sounded shaky, not like him. She nodded and finally pulled away from him enough to swim back to shore. He was right behind her.

Once out, they brought their clothes back to the car, realizing quickly that clothes covered in sand would not be comfortable. Sesshoumaru retrieved the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the trunk so they could get their clothes. They dressed in an awkward silence and got into the car. Kagome took the keys from him and placed them in the ignition, but didn't turn the key. She turned to Sesshoumaru suddenly.

"Sesshoumaru, I…" She stopped, as if trying to make him understand something without words, something that words couldn't cover. He just nodded.

"I know." She smiled her relief, staring at him for a moment, beaming, making him uncomfortable. Finally she turned her attention to the car, starting it up and pulling back onto the road, heading to the closest town. Salisbury.

And still the uncomfortable silence rang on; something delicate held in it that neither of them wanted to break. A tenuous connection of fragile understanding.

Salisbury, MA 

8:52PM, June 3, 2000

After eating supper at a nice restaurant (Kagome insisted on paying, saying that he could foot the hotel bill) they drove around looking for a decent hotel. Of course, she tried to pick out some sort of rundown cheap place, but he wasn't about to take it this time. He opposed all of them, until they came to the Roshway motel. He started to pull into the parking lot, having talked Kagome into letting him drive.

"Oh no, oh no. I don't think so. This is one of the nicest motels in the area! No way…" But he ignored her and pulled up in front of the building.

"Wait here. I'm going to get us a room." He was out of the car before she could form a full protest. She let out an exasperated breath and sat back against the seat. A few minutes later he emerged, a key in his hand.

"We're in the building over there." He pointed across the way. She gave him a glare as he pulled the car into a parking place and read the number on the key to her.

"145." Kagome went to the trunk and pulled out their stuff. She handed him his suitcase and carried hers toward the building. They found number 145, only one to the right of where the car was parked, and she waited while he unlocked the door and turned on the light. He stood back to let her enter first, and she walked in, clearly annoyed. She stopped dead a few feet into the room. It was a nice place, clearly expensive. She turned to Sesshoumaru, dropping her bag and putting her hands on her hips.

"Sesshoumaru! This has got to be one of the most expensive rooms in the place! It must have cost a hundred dollars! Or more!"

"Almost two hundred." He was trying not to grin.

"Dammit, there was no reason to spend that kind of money. Just because I said you could foot this bill didn't mean to get the most expensive one you could!" Sesshoumaru shrugged closing the door and placing his suitcase on a chair.

"Why not? I have money. You may not, but it won't hurt my pocketbook at all to spend a night here. I wanted to stay in a nice place. It certainly won't hurt you." If she hadn't known better, she might have taken that for a joke.

"Won't hurt anything but my pride, which is all I have left when it comes to you." She muttered. Sesshoumaru shot her a look, and she blushed. "I mean, I didn't mean it that way…" Then she shrugged. "No, that's not true. I did mean it like that." A scarlet blush stained her cheeks and she turned away, picking up her bag and finding a better place for it then the middle of the floor.

Then she decided to take a better look at the place. There was a fireplace with a loveseat facing it, and behind it was a small fridge, sort of like the one at the other place they stayed. She opened it and found that there were some fresh looking fruits in the bottom, and some alcoholic drinks as well as some normal sodas (The abundance of which seemed to be Coke) and then a pitcher of water. There was a small compartment at the top that held a bag of ice. She shut the small fridge and then opened the door to the left of it. There was a single, large bed.

She pulled her head out of the room and shut the door, looking around and not seeing another door besides the open door to the bathroom. There seemed to be only one bed in this place. The implications of that made her blush and she hurried over to where Sesshoumaru was fiddling with the fire in the fireplace.

"Sesshoumaru, there's… only one bed." She said, trying not to sound too flustered. He stood up and faced her after putting away the fire tongs.

"Yes. I thought you would really jump down my throat if I paid the $235 for the two beds." His tone was so nonchalant; like it was something he had considered and then shrugged off as unimportant. She tried to keep some semblance of the same attitude.

"Really? Your right, I would have. So, were you planning on having us… SHARE… the bed again?" She cleared her throat, trying to keep eye contact when he pivoted and stared at her. His eyes seemed to be pinning her to the spot. Her heart was going far too fast, and she had to think hard to keep her breathing from becoming obvious. There were many moments where he just stared at her. His voice was low and calculating as he finally answered her.

"No. I was going to sleep on the loveseat." He said. She blew out the breath she'd been holding, partly relieved, but mostly disappointed.

Sesshoumaru had not missed the tension in the air, nor the look of disappointment. He tried to dismiss it as his imagination, but that was not possible, not at the minute anyway. God, how he wished he could have just told her yes, if only to see her reaction.

He sighed; right now he had something else he needed to do. He walked over to the fridge and opened it.

"Would you like a drink?"

Kagome looked up from where she had sat in front of the fire. She turned on the TV she hadn't noticed in the corner.

"Yeah, I'll have whatever you do. Thanks." She was trying to be brave, she knew that he might drink something she shouldn't have, but she had never been drunk, and well, she wanted to try it. She forced herself not to look and see what he was getting them and instead tried to find something on TV to watch. After a minute she saw him in her peripheral vision and looked up.

"I don't know if you drink wine, but that's what I was having. Don't drink a lot. I shouldn't even be giving it to you, since your only 18." He warned. She smiled up at him and took the glass, trying to keep her hand from shaking.

"You know, your only 18 too." He ignored that. "I've never drank anything alcoholic before, but I'll try it." She admitted, taking a small sip. It was slightly bitter, but it had a sweet taste to it as well, fruity almost. She took a larger sip. It warmed her insides on the way down, making her tingle.

"I think I like it." She smiled brightly at him and he gave her a small smile in return. She nursed her wine along as she flipped through the channels. There seemed to be nothing on. She found a TV guide channel and saw that the movie The Green Mile was on, so she flipped to that channel and watched it.

She was surprised to find her wine was already gone, so she got up to get some more. She opened the fridge and decided to try something else. She told Sesshoumaru and he turned toward her.

"Make sure its liquor, not beer." He said over his shoulder. She pulled out a bottle of Captain Morgan. She set it on the table and saw that there was a commercial on.

"Um… could I get a hand? I have no idea what I'm doing." She saw him drain his wineglass and get up, coming over.

"Yes? Oh, you want a Morgan, the sweet liquor." He pulled out the bag of ice and a can Coke. He put half of the can in her glass, and then the other half in his empty wineglass. He filled the glasses with ice, right to the top, and then poured some of the rum in, until the glasses were just about running over. He had filled the cup about a quarter of the way with the rum.

Sesshoumaru planned on drinking the same amount she did, he knew full well that he could hold his liquor, it took a lot to get him really drunk, unlike his brother.

"That's a real weak one to start you out with." He picked up the glass and handed it to her. She took it and sipped at it. She rolled the tastes around in her mouth, trying to decide if she liked this stuff as well. She decided she did, the alcohol's bitter, yet sweet taste added to the taste of the Coke. She went back to the loveseat and saw that the program was back on. She really liked this movie, the ending made her cry every time. Sesshoumaru sat next to her on the loveseat; it was, after all, the only seat in the room.

When her glass was again empty, she refilled it with the Morgan, filling the glass halfway with rum and halfway with Coke. The room was slightly tipsy and turny as she walked, and her eyesight seemed to not be able to keep up with the speed of her eyes, but other then that, she felt fine. Better then fine, in fact, she felt good. REALLY good. She emptied her cup rather quickly and went to get another glass.

"Don't drink too much, especially your first time." Sesshoumaru warned from the loveseat.

"I promise I wont hold you responsible for anything that might happen tonight." She said, and then her eyes opened wide when the cliché meaning of the sentence she had spoken became clear to her. She giggled.

"I mean, I…" She blushed as Sesshoumaru waved a hand at her, understanding her dilemma and telling her that he knew what she meant.

For the first time, she didn't cry when the big black man was electrocuted for the murder he didn't commit.

Kagome had finished her fifth drink by then and was very happy.

"Hey, Sesshoumaru, I don't think you need to stay on the couch, ya know?" She giggled and patted his thigh. He seemed to ignore her, and she got up for another glass. He stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Kagome, sit back down. You've had enough." She did as he asked, sitting right next to him, almost on his lap.

"Whoops, missed." She joked.

"Kagome, I need you to tell me something, please." She nodded, waiting. He plunged ahead. "What happened to you? Someone abused you." Her brow furrowed and she shook her head.

"I don't wanna talk about that." She said.

"You need to. Please, tell me what happened." He tried to sound convincing, gentle. She shook her head more vigorously.

"Don't want to." She said again. He sighed.

"What do I have to do to get you to talk about it?" He asked, not really expecting an answer. It was a rhetorical question, not one he really thought an answer would be given. So he was surprised when she answered.

"Kiss me." His eyes widened.

"What?" he asked, not totally sure he had heard her right.

"I want you to kiss me, if I tell you what you want to know. I'll tell then." She grinned at him. Slowly he nodded his head.

"Alright, now tell me what happened earlier today, after I got out of the shower." She sunk into the couch, slowly transforming into a young girl instead of the adult, and eventually she spoke.

"I dunno why, but the word 'alone' made me think of a time, I was about seven. I didn't even remember it until then. I was sitting on my bed, and there was this man in my doorway. He shut the door and came closer, and he told me to come closer. I did as I was told, and came over to him. I looked in the mirror, and I knew, this was a memory, of me, when I was younger. I realized that this was my Daddy, and he was telling me to do what I was supposed to, and not to make him impatient. So I did was I was supposed to and took off my big nightshirt. It was just a big t-shirt. He touched my face, and then his hand went lower, and I wouldn't let my legs be pushed apart. He got mad and threw me onto the bed, and when I still wouldn't part my thighs, he slapped me, hard. He told me that I knew better, and that I should do as I was told. So I did what he wanted." She stopped, turned back to him.

"Is that good enough?" She asked, her pain obvious in her face. She so resembled a little girl who had done wrong, and didn't realize it was not she but her daddy who had done wrong. But there was more he needed to know, despite the fact that getting her to talk about it was tearing them both apart. He didn't think she could take it if she wasn't drunk.

"No, you told me more before, but you were mumbling and I couldn't hear you. I need you to finish it." He said sternly, trying to be strong and get the whole story. He hated to make her relive it this way, but it was important that he know.

"I… okay." She nodded. "He kept touching me. And doing things I didn't like. He started to get rough, and he was hurting me. He… put his fingers inside of me, and then…" She stopped, her brow uncreasing. "Mommy came home early. She found him out. That was the last time he… did that to me. Mommy didn't know, she felt so bad. She said he could never hurt me again." There were tears coming slowly down her face. "He can't ever hurt me again, can he?" She asked him, her eyes meeting his.

He felt a stab of guilt for making her doubt it, for making her afraid. He pulled her into his arms and held her close. "Of course he can't. Never again." He held her until he felt her crying cease. She pulled back and wiped the wetness from her face. Slowly, her expression turned back to the woman who was drunk, instead of the scared little girl.

"Ya know what?" She asked him, finally grinning again. He decided to humor her.

"What?"

"You still have to kiss me." He had almost forgotten about that. He leaned forward and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. When he pulled back, she was frowning.

"That's not what I mean and you know it." She said, shaking her finger at him. A slow smile spread across her features. "I guess I can ini… initi… initiate it." She stammered out. She leaned slowly closer to him. He was unable to move away, his well of control having suddenly come up dry. She was leaning over him, her lips so close, and then she was kissing him, nibbling on his lip, her hands coming up to bracket his face. For a moment, he let himself fall softly into the sweet kiss. Her fingers slid into his hair and she applied pressure to the back of his head, deepening the kiss, tasting his tongue, flicking around, making nerves jump.

He yanked away from her, getting up suddenly and going to the door.

"I'm going outside, I'll be right back." His voice was hoarse, and he hoped to god it was cold outside.

END

Cliffy, sort of. You'll see, after the next chapter. Hope you liked it enough to review. hope you enjoy my efforts. Please feel free to email me with anything, questions, comments, and/or ideas. I hope to hear from you.

RyuuAngel

REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!!


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Salisbury, MA 

1:08 AM, June 4, 2000

She leaned slowly closer to him. He was unable to move away, his well of control having suddenly come up dry. She was leaning over him, her lips so close, and then she was kissing him, nibbling on his lip, her hands coming up to bracket his face. For a moment, he let himself fall softly into the sweet kiss. Her fingers slid into his hair and she applied pressure to the back of his head, deepening the kiss, tasting his tongue, flicking around, making nerves jump.

He yanked away from her, getting up suddenly and going to the door.

"I'm going outside, I'll be right back." His voice was hoarse, and he hoped to god it was cold outside. He wrenched open the door and just about slammed it shut again behind him.

Kagome had a secretive, sly look on her face as she stared at the door. She got up and started rummaging haphazardly through her bag, throwing out clothes and finally finding the thing she wanted at the bottom. She pulled it out and bit her bottom lip, holding it up. Her lips curved into a satisfied smile.

"Perfect."

Sesshoumaru sat down on the cold concrete, wondering how much more of this he could take. His control was slipping, little by little. It angered him to no end. He was weak, he was so goddamned weak! He glared at the shadows, feeling his anger, -and his ardor- slowly cool. He stared out for a little while longer, trying to think straight, trying to sort through everything he had just heard. He wondered if the way she was pushing herself onto him had anything to do with what she had told him.

Finally he got up and went to the door, gathering himself, hoping she might have passed out so he could somewhat relax. Maybe she had seen what she had been trying to do was pointless and stupid and she had given up.

He opened the door and looked inside, waiting for her, but he couldn't see her. Maybe she had gone to bed. He slipped inside, trying to be noiseless, and shut the door quietly, locking it. He took the key out of the lock and set it on the table by the door. He heard a creak of a door opening and looked up, expecting her to come out of the bathroom showered, or from being sick, or something like that.

He wasn't expecting to see her standing there, leaned on the doorjamb, staring at him, her lips pulled up at the corners seductively. Her hair was tousled, sexy, and the thing she was wearing left little to the imagination. He gulped and managed to tear his eyes off her, but his mind was imprinted with the image. The sheer purple langerie, clinging to her body, dipping low into her cleavage; it stopped just below the top of the juncture of her thighs.

"Hey, hun." She stepped toward him, her hips thrust forward in an exaggerated sexy walk that sent her hips swinging. Her whole body radiated sensual desire and interest.

It nearly knocked the breath out of him.

She was still coming closer, and then she was tipping her face up to look at him, inches from touching. She raised her hand, using a finger to run down his chest, slowly, down rippling stomach muscles, and farther still. He couldn't stop the groan her touch elicited. It was virgin, innocent, despite how she looked tonight. She reached her arms up toward his neck, pressing their bodies together, her hips pushed hard into his and she stood on tiptoe. She was pulling his head down, her eyes on his lips.

Sesshoumaru finally managed to grasp at some vestiges of control, resisting her pull. He brought his hands up, applying pressure to her shoulders to push her away.

"You'll be pissed as hell tomorrow if I take advantage of you in your present situation, Kagome." His hold on her shoulders applied more pressure, pushing her away. She took a step back, but her seductive smile remained on her face. Suddenly, the straps of her sheer nightgown were falling down her shoulders and then the nightgown drifted to the floor.

"I seem to be the only one taking advantage of our 'present situation'." Her voice, though soft, was slurred. She stepped to him, her hands reaching up to curl around his neck, her naked body pressing to his. Such a body, perfect curves, her long hair cascading down around her shoulders; her long, shapely legs. Her breasts were plump and upright, young, the areoles puckered and high. He could feel those lovely curves pressing into him now, her fingers were tickling the back of his neck, her hips moving against his, making him real hard, real fast.

"I meant what I said earlier, about not holding you responsible for anything that might happen tonight. I won't." She promised. She molded her mouth to his, and with a groan, he kissed her back, his arm circling around her and holding her tightly. He let his hips grind back into hers, his breath coming in quick gasps. Her hand slid from around his neck and sensually down his chest, to the waist of his pants. Her hands tugged at his zipper, and then her hands were brushing against him, making light flash before his eyes. He broke off the kiss.

"God dammit." He gave her a hard push backwards, making her fall onto her rear. Her eyes were still locked on his, glazed with desire and need. She was breathing heavily, making her breasts rise and fall. He looked away; his state was similar to hers.

"Kagome, your blind drunk." He was tugging his zipper back up.

"So?" She asked, as if that didn't matter in the least.

"There's a form of rape that that I could get nailed for if tomorrow you were to decide that you didn't really want to do this. I'm not about to take that chance." He turned around. "Put your nightgown back on." He ordered. He heard her get up and assumed she was following his direction until she spoke.

"No."

He spun back around. "What do you mean, no?" He was surprised to see anger in her face.

"Dammit, I'm not about to stop now! I had to drink this much just to get the courage to talk myself into doing this much! I've wanted you ever since that night when we were watching the sunset. But I couldn't get up the courage to say it, until now. And dammit, now that I have the courage, I'm not about to give up." She took a stumbling step towards him. "I want you, Sesshoumaru. I always have. I… want…" He caught her as she was falling. She smiled up at him before speaking a few words that were barely loud enough to hear.

"I knew you'd see it my way. I… knew… it. I…" Her eyes fluttered closed and she was deep asleep in a drunken stupor. Sesshoumaru swore and swung her into his arms, praying to god she didn't wake up until she was sober. She was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. He laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers out from under her in order to tuck them around her. Suddenly her eyes flew open, and her hands reached out to grab him in a steely grip he didn't think possible of her.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me." He was shocked by the intensely worried look on her face. Something told him this had nothing to do with her earlier fears of being alone.

"Don't hate me…" Her grip relaxed and she once again was falling into that drunken stupor. He stayed leaned over her like that; shocked at the last words she had spoken. He wondered how she hadn't managed to get out of her drunken slumber those few seconds. He watched her for many moments, but she was still now, her breathing deep and even. He leaned over and grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and the pillow beside her.

After checking on her one last time, he closed the door softly and went to the loveseat, wondering how the hell he was supposed to sleep on that short little thing.

After three hours, he gave up trying to sleep. It was 4AM. What was the point?

Salisbury, MA 

6:25 AM, June 4, 2000

Kagome awoke, feeling very stiff and weird, but okay other then that. She slowly sat up, looking around, slowly remembering where she was.

It took her a few minutes to remember how she got there. She looked down at herself, realizing she was totally nude. She blushed deeper and deeper as flashes from the night before paraded through her mind. She was tempted to throw the covers back over her head and never come out again. God forbid she ever drink that much again.

She got up, checking to make sure there were no windows that people might be able to see her in. She slunk over to the door, opening it enough to see, but not be seen by Sesshoumaru. She was surprised to hear light snores coming from the loveseat. She smiled softly, a strange warm feeling squeezing her heart. The whole bottom half of his jean-covered legs were dangling off the loveseat, he was too tall. She could see slightly tousled hair over the top of the loveseat on the left side. She peeked up at the clock and saw it was only about 6:30. Funny, she wasn't the type to wake up early, especially after last night. She wondered idly why she wasn't feeling the after-effects of drinking, the hangover.

She certainly wasn't still drunk. So…

Ah, what does it matter? She slowly slid through the doorway and went stealthily toward her bag, praying he wouldn't wake. Not that it mattered, because if she remembered last night, she had shown him all that she had to offer. She blushed again, a little nervous because she didn't remember everything from last night. Like how she ended up in the bed.

She frowned in annoyance when she saw the mess she had made of her clothes, noticing how they were ALL OVER THE PLACE. She picked up a pair of pants, folding them over her arm to wear, a shirt, and was just picking up a skimpy little thong when she heard his voice.

"Hurry up so I can get up." His voice was stark cold and knocked the wind out of her like jumping into frigid water.

Oh god, he must have opened his eyes and seen her. Not that it really mattered. What there was to see he had gotten a good look at last night, right?

"I'm hurrying. I… don't see why it matters. You saw me last night. It shouldn't matter." Her voice shook, betraying her nervousness. She reached down for a bra.

"It matters." Came the growl from the couch. She flinched and hurriedly went into the bathroom to change. She was pulling on the thong as she heard him get up and heard his voice, assuming he was on the phone. His question proved her assumption correct. She finished snapping the back to her bra as he spoke through the door.

"What do you want for breakfast? Will Coffee be alright for drinks?" She pulled the shirt over her head and reached for the thong.

"Fine. I like Equal if we can get it. 2 creams. What can I get for food?" She reached for her pants, putting one leg in, hopping, and managing to get the other in as well.

"They have normal breakfasts as well as doughnuts and muffins and cereals." Came the answer. She zipped her pants and opened the bathroom door. He was standing with the phone wedged in between his left shoulder and his ear, his left hand helping to hold it there, his right hand holding a pencil, idly drawing circles in the air. Even now she could see the predatory ease of his body, the now relaxed, but strong muscles. And her attraction for him somehow doubled, if it was possible, it turned from an insistent pull into an ache.

"I'll just have a chocolate-chocolate chip muffin, if they have them. Ask them if they can warm it up, please." She was slightly breathless. He glanced at her, but there was no expression on his face, nothing for her to go by. That didn't help her any. He relayed her order into the phone. After a few minutes he hung up and faced her.

"It's the hotel's food service. It's quite extensive, very nice. It should be here soon. You can handle it?" He was gathering clothing to change his clothes. She nodded and stood there, watching him. He went into the bathroom without giving her a second glance. Kagome felt a little disappointed. She was hoping for something, anger, tension, but not this nonchalance. She almost wished that he would give her disgusted looks or something. She sighed.

The sound of water running in the shower made her wish she had taken one, but it didn't mater now. She would take one tonight. The images of taking one with Sesshoumaru made her quiver and suddenly feel very warm. She had the sudden ridiculous urge to undress and go in there now.

She stomped across the room and sat down firmly, disbelieving of the sudden novel urges she was having. Sure, she'd been attracted to him before, but now it was ten times worse. Did it have something to do with last night? Did alcohol somehow heighten sexual frustration or something? If so, she would make sure to never drink again. Maybe last night's idiocy and courage had rubbed off onto her more rational self. For some odd reason, she almost hoped that it did.

The doorbell ring echoed through her head and succeeded in bringing her rapidly out of her thoughts. She stared at the door dazed for a split second before peeping through the hole and opening it. A young man, about 16, stood with a bag and a tray of two tall coffees. There were three equal packets and quite a few creamers. She counted five. Sesshoumaru must like a lot of cream.

"Hello, um, let me grab some money." She rushed back inside, leaving the door open. She heard the guy step into the doorway and almost kicked herself for not shutting the door and bringing money with her to the door in the first place. Damn her. If this guy chose to attack her… She shook her head. The guy wasn't going to attack her. But if he did, Sesshoumaru was in the shower and might not hear her unless she screamed quite loudly. Suddenly, she realized how alone she was in this room without him here. Unlike the fear before, it was not all-consuming, just a fear made of anxiety, not one from the depths of her mind.

And it did not paralyze her or really outwardly hinder her. The smile she gave the young man as she stood was fake, but not many who didn't know her could have told you that. She stepped toward him, taking the tray and setting it down on the table by the fridge.

"What do I owe you?" She asked, her voice conversational and congenial. He grinned back at her, perfect teeth in a white row. This guy either had really nice natural teeth or parents who were willing to spend some money on dental bills. The more she looked at him, the more she realized how good-looking he was, with his dark features, deep chocolate eyes, and short-cropped dark hair. If he weren't so young, she would say he was the type with the rugged good looks. Strong, square jaw, high, but not delicate cheekbones; the sharp bone structure seemed to complete his look. If she wasn't so afraid he was going to be the next monster, she may have flirted with this guy. And of course, if Sesshoumaru wasn't in the next room.

And then, suddenly, an idea formed in her mind. A mean, under-handed idea. Something she would have never considered doing before, but now… well, she wanted to reaffirm in her mind that he most definitely cared about her.

The voice speaking to her now matched the handsome face. It was low, masculine, and very pleasing. "The food comes with the hotel. Its part of the bargain." He returned her smile, his gaze trying to be subtle as he glanced over her appreciatively. Kagome was suddenly very glad she had pulled that tight, low neck-lined shirt off the floor to wear. So apparently was this guy. Kagome banked her stupid fears and deepened her smile, seeing the spark of interest in his dark eyes.

"Well, um, I didn't catch your name." She said, an obvious look in her eyes. She was almost surprised when the guy blushed. Surely she wasn't doing that good of a job.

"Yeah, name's Johnny. And… how about you?"

"Kagome. Well Johnny, since I pulled out this money, I may as well give you a small tip, huh?" She handed him the five-dollar bill and he slowly took it, his eyes bright, intense. There seemed to be nothing scary about this guy. Just a lot of hott and handsome male.

"Thanks. I hope you enjoy your breakfast." He started to turn away. Shit, time to go for it, now or never.

"Hold up. Are you real busy at the moment? Because I need a little help with something." She could see the implications of what he was thinking in his eyes, but she was determined to follow through with her little plan.

"I, um, may have a few minutes. What's up?" He took a half step closer, his eyes intensely focused on hers. She did her best to return the look.

"I could use some help eating this muffin. Would you join me?" He looked totally baffled for a moment, then his eyes swept to the bag he had brought, clearly disappointed.

"I, guess I could. Why not?" he stepped a little farther into the room and Kagome slid past him to shut the door, feeling guilty as she deliberately brushed him. She didn't like using people, but it wasn't like she was going to fuck him and then leave him. Nothing drastic, there was nothing wrong with flirting, right?

She grabbed the bag and sat on the loveseat, patting the spot beside her. He hesitantly sat beside her, as if he couldn't believe his luck. She contained her frown and wondered if maybe there were no pretty girls in his school, or maybe he was an outcast, doomed to be ignored.

Because for Christ sake she just wasn't that pretty.

She pulled out the muffin and broke it into a few pieces, setting them on her lap in the napkin already placed there. She gestured for him to take a piece and took one herself, biting into it and chewing slowly. She watched his hand seem to shake as he reached forward, and realized just how risqué she had made this, the food was sitting right on her thighs. He took a piece and popped the whole thing into his mouth, turning red with embarrassment when she smiled. She shifted closer to him.

"Wouldn't want to have crumbs fall in the loveseat on the way to your mouth." She grinned at him and he returned a weak grin back at her. Jesus, after being with Sesshoumaru for the last few days, this guy seemed so transparent, and so non-challenging.

Together, they finished the muffin in tensed silence. Kagome looked at the crumbs on her fingers and then right at him, finding her courage to do this. She grinned, her eyes deep and dark, and proceeded to lick the crumbs off her fingers.

Poor Johnny swallowed several times and she could hear him fighting a groan. She was going at the last one when she heard the bathroom door open. She didn't even bother to look, and instead watched Johnny's face for a reaction. First was surprise, and then his face drained of color and it looked strained. Slowly she turned to look at Sesshoumaru, her finger still in her mouth.

His face, unlike its usual complacent stoicy, was now savage with fury. Well, that told her all she needed to know. Her previous thoughts were reaffirmed, and judging by the fact that it had knocked down his icy façade, he cared a lot. Possibly possessively. Interesting… She slid her finger out of her mouth.

"Hey, Sesshoumaru." She finished licking her finger. "I just invited Johnny, our delivery boy, in to help me with the muffin." She picked up the napkin, corner-by-corner, careful to keep the crumbs from falling out all over her or the couch. She looked at Johnny, who looked almost scared stiff, but was now standing, as if he thought he would have a better chance if attacked. "Thanks, Johnny. I'll see you around, sometime maybe." His eyes zipped to her. Something close to accusation lit his gaze. She threw the napkin away.

"Yeah, See ya." He gave her a nervous smile before fleeing to the door, opening it quickly, fumbling, and shutting it behind him. Kagome stared at the door a long minute, gathering herself for his anger. Slowly she turned to look at him, a bright smile on her face.

"What a nice guy. Didn't you think so?" Her voice was cheery and light. But her façade could not stand up against the raw jealousy and fear in Sesshoumaru's face. She took a single step back.

"What the hell were you thinking?" His voice held an edge, more then one, in fact. "Did you not learn anything from what happened at the other hotel?" He took a slow, stalking step toward her. She shivered and retreated, thought she wasn't really scared, not of him.

"Of course I learned something. Why, are you jealous or something?" Goddamn, she should have kept her mouth shut. She watched, as he grew even more murderous, apparently she had hit a nerve.

"You think I am jealous? That fool could have done any number of things to you." Another, slow, measured step was taken in her direction. "And you let him in with you, while you were alone, without a second thought." And still he drew nearer. Kagome's back hit the wall behind her.

"I did have second thoughts, but you were right in the next room, and he seemed like a nice guy. He didn't hurt me, now did he?" Why the hell couldn't she just shut up?

"Jeffrey Domer the serial killer was said to be such a polite and nice guy by his neighbors, but that is not the point." His voice was so silky, even with its hard edge. "The point is you could have been hurt, or worse. And you seem to care less." He was towering over her 5'5" frame, menacing. And still she was not really afraid; she could never really fear him.

"I don't seem to have to care, since you do so damn much." She snapped. This time her face drained, right after she saw how his did. Shit, that was a mistake. He was rapidly drawing away from her. Apparently, he didn't know his own feelings well. "Sesshoumaru. I, just forget I said that." She followed his retreat, not ready to let him get away. He backed up, away from her, and once again he was being overly emotional in his standards. His pale skin was paler then normal, his eyes held something close to shock. Oh no, she'd really done it now. "Sesshoumaru?"

"You… I… can't believe you would think that. Where did you get such an idea?" His voice was hushed, so unlike him.

"We are friends you know. I'm pretty sure they can get protective at times. Like when you threw that guy across the room to save me." She tried to sound logical, tried to make light of it.

"I saved you. It is not a crime to prevent another one." She could swear there were tremors in his usually icy voice. It totally undid her, and she found herself saying something that she never planned on telling him. Things she didn't really know until the moment she spoke them.

"Over the last few days, so many things have happened. You've been there for me through it all. You chased away my demons. You helped me, held me. You've been a wonderful friend to me. And I hold you as more then a friend." She strengthened her resolve, surprised at the truthfulness of the words that sprang from her mouth. She took another tedious step toward him. She didn't know that he could look even more shocked. But he did, his muscles going rigid, his eyes hardening. He was so still, for so long. She took another step, which he seemed not to fathom.

"Sesshoumaru? Say something, anything. Please." His jaw opened, and slowly, one word came out, almost a whisper.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why? There is no why when Love is involved." The words came so easily from her mouth, but she could tell it would be a long time before he could ever admit such an emotion, to anyone. She was taking a real chance here, and she prayed to god she wasn't wrong. His expression turned savage again.

"How do you know what love is?" He spat out the word, like it was some kind of vile thing.

"You know when you feel it. It's like an obsession, and a caring so deep you can't even imagine being without that person. Add in a little sexual attraction, well, maybe a lot, and boom, there it is." She tried for a soft smile. His savage expression disappeared, and she watched with an intense, almost painful feeling of loss as his expression closed.

"No." She was shocked.

"What do you mean, no?" She tried to stay gentle, but there was a certain amount of ice in her words.

"You do not love me. You may think you do, but it will fade." Kagome bit back a retort, her heart clenching. "What you feel is sexual, and when mixed with a series of stressful events, it escalates." She felt as if her heart was made of glass and it was developing some deep, wrenchingly painful cracks. "Desperation instinct kicks in on us in stressful environments." Another excruciating crack. Couldn't he hear what he was doing to her? "I was there during each and every one of your recent stressful situations, and yes, I did help you through them the best I could. You see me as something I'm not, your savior. You love someone who does not exist." His expression was so cold, so unfeeling.

"But that is all you think you feel." The crack ran down the middle of her heart, making her blanch in pain. "Only this and nothing more." It shattered into a million tiny pieces. She felt an aching, deep inside of her, through her whole body. Anger made her tongue go wild.

"You bastard. No wonder you're so cold. Have you told every woman who fell in love with you this little line? I wonder…" She sobbed. "I wonder, how many hearts have you broken? How many times have you told that convenient little lie to keep from showing your own feelings? I can see the truth, even if you can't. I won't say you love me, because that I don't know, but there's something there, and you can feel it. I don't know why you have to deny it. Why, Sesshoumaru?" Another sob choked her words off. "Why?" It was barely a whisper as she searched his face for answers, though she was not surprised when none could be found. Finally she lowered her head, defeated, and turned away.

She silently walked to the loveseat; she just didn't care if he saw how much he hurt her. It really didn't matter, what did, now? He'd seen all of her, her body, her soul, her past, and her heart. She stared at the still steaming coffees for a long time, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. Noiseless sobs racked her body, but she kept them under some kind of control. She wouldn't wail his loss, there was no way. She would allow herself to cry, but even that was something she vowed to never do again. Ever. Slowly, the pain subsided to a distant throb, numbed. An achingly familiar cold spread through her, but it was bearable.

She slowly, almost mechanically rose from the loveseat, her eyes finding Sesshoumaru's across the room. She stared at him, not allowing a nuance of emotion in her features. He had seen her pain, and she would make sure he saw no more of it.

"We should pick up, and get ready to go." She reached over and started to pick up her clothes, folding them neatly, putting them carefully into her bag. She felt him staring, but purposely ignored him. After a few minutes he finally moved, straightening the room with her.

When it was finished, she cleared her throat, pivoting to face him.

"I hope you know, I fully intend on finishing this trip. Although, I have decided to cut the two weeks down to one. If you want to go back home, you'll have to find your own ride." She drew herself up to meet his gaze, holding it long enough to make him nod, and then finished with her task.

Sesshoumaru had already made his decision. He made sure his bag was packed, thinking silently. The words she had said rang over and over in his head.

_Obsession. _

He shook his head, getting ready to ask her to take him to the nearest train station. She certainly was NOT obsessed with him, and though some of his behavior had been slightly weird, it was not obsessive.

_Caring. _

Again he tried to stop the words from running rampant in his mind, but he could not. What did she know of love, anyway? She was wrong; it was nothing but stress and timing. He cared for her, yes, okay. But she for him?

_Attraction. _

Attraction? He admitted a mutual attraction. But once again, it was all in the timing and the events. He was there when she needed someone to turn to. He was the only one. Of course to her he would seem attractive. And there was no question that he was attracted to her.

_Love._

Love, ha? What was love? It was a deception, blindness, a weakness. A temporary false feeling for a person. Something he could certainly do without. It would go away.

She agreed to drop him off. They picked up the coffee, drinking them in the car. Habits made him note how she liked her coffee: 2 creamers, 2 of those substitute sugars, Equal was what they were called. Without a second thought he filed away the future information for later use.

She dropped him off, saying a terse but polite goodbye, and then sped off. As he watched her go, he tried to ignore the intense pain that was slowly building in his chest. He wouldn't admit to the feeling that a part of himself was leaving with that red car. He couldn't see that he would never be the same as before.

When her car rounded the corner out of sight he went into the station to get a ticket and then waited for the train that would take him home.

He cursed the feeling that home would never have the same connotations it always did. He would never feel he belonged anywhere, unless she was there beside him.

It was something he knew in his heart, thought it would never be something he would admit out loud.

I… hope you liked this chapter. I didn't, I hated trying to write this. It was impossible. hope you enjoy my efforts. Please feel free to email me with anything, questions, comments, and/or ideas. I hope to hear from you.

RyuuAngel

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	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Salisbury, MA, down Rt. 95 to Boston

8:30AM-12:00PM June 4, 2000

Kagome furiously looked in the rearview mirror. As many times as she had told herself she wasn't going to, her gaze had been drawn there. And there he had stood until she drove around a corner and he was out of sight. Every fiber in her willed her to turn the car around, every one except her pride. And that one, strong fiber sustained her all the way through the next four towns on Rt. 95. It wasn't until she reached Marlborough that her grip on the steering wheel loosened and her throat closed up again. Tears slowly slid down her cheeks and the sun reflected the water on them. When she realized she that couldn't see, not because of the tears blurring her vision, but from the sun in her eyes, she pulled down the visor and started to haphazardly search for her sunglasses.

"Where the hell are they?" She muttered. She searched through her purse, dividing her gaze between the road and her fruitless search. She checked the backseat, the front seat, under her own. She even managed to reach under the passenger seat and fish around, but nothing came of it. "God Dammit, where could they be? I didn't lose them, did I?" She rummaged in the glove compartment, in the creases of the seats, but still nothing. She knew she had brought them into the front of the car with her, she distinctly remembered!

Seeing a rest stop ahead, she yanked the car over into the right-hand lane, ignored the sound of a car horn, and pulled off into it. She squealed to a sudden halt just off to the side and jumped out. She yanked the backseat car door open and reached under the seat, but nothing was found. Then she frantically checked every crease, and when she came up empty handed, she collapsed on the seat, letting sobs wretch her body. All of her frustration poured out of her with those angry tears.

"God damn you Sesshoumaru." She whispered. She pounded the seat with her hand. "What the hell is your problem? Why did you lie like that? Why did you have to tear out my heart?" She stilled after she spoke those words, realizing it to be true. Her heart was lying in little pieces on the floor in that hotel room in Salisbury. And that was right where it would stay.

She sat up, brushing the tears out of her eyes, forcing her breath back to regularity. She used her fingers to comb her hair straight again. When she thought she had a decent control over herself, she climbed out of the backseat and into the front. As she belted in and went to start the car, a flash caught her eye.

Her sunglasses sat winking imperiously at her from the dashboard.

Newport, NH

1:00 PM, June 4, 2000

Sesshoumaru set his trunk on his bed. He quickly unsnapped the locks and pulled it open, setting it back on the bed to be emptied. For a moment, he just stared at the clothes. He slowly fingered the shirt he had been wearing the night he had held her in his arms while she slept. Quickly he snatched his hand away and proceeded to pull out his clothes and put them away, a detached expression on his face. He took the ones he had worn and put them into the dirty laundry basket, and then put his toothbrush and other essentials away. He took the now empty suitcase and stored it in his closet, high up on the top. Why the hell couldn't he stop thinking about her?

_Obsession_.

He wished to god her stupid words would stop replaying over and over in his head. If that was her version of love, then he didn't fucking want it. All it summed up to was temporary pain.

He started down the stairs, taking them quickly. He remembered taking her up another flight of stairs at the hotel after he had pulled that frigging pervert off of her.

_Caring._

Wouldn't it ever go away?

He turned left at the bottom of the stairs and went into the kitchen, thankful to see a coffee pot. He opened the cupboard and got out the can of Maxwell House coffee. He quickly measured a scoop out and then filled the coffee pot half full, or six cups. It would only come out to three or four, but he shouldn't drink any more than that if he planned to sleep tonight. A thoughts truck him of how Kagome liked her coffee, two of the abominable equals and two creams. She liked things sweet. And god wasn't she sweet. Her taste…

_Attraction._

He was going to go nuts if this didn't stop. Really.

He sat and waited for the coffee to drip into the pot. It would be at least ten minutes. Maybe he aught to go and do something while he waited.

Like what?

"Didn't know you were home. Where the hell didjya go?" Sesshoumaru brought his gaze up sharply to see his brother standing there, his hair tousled from sleep, his eyes still half lidded. Deep, unexplainable and impenetrable anger filled him. This was why Kagome was attracted to him. He resembled his brother.

_Love. _

She was obsessed with Inuyasha. She cared about Inuyasha. She was attracted to Inuyasha. She loved Inuyasha.

The chair scraped against the floor, squeaking in protest to its rough movement. He ignored it and gracefully fled the room, a snarl building in his throat. He took the stairs two at a time and slammed into his room.

"Wow. What the fucks his prob?" Inuyasha craned his neck to peer up the hallway in surprise. "Hell, who cares? He ain't in my hair." He then took the pot out from the coffee, ignoring the hissing sounds as the coffee splattered against the hot surface. He poured himself a cup of the coffee Sesshoumaru had made and replaced the pot.

Boston, MA

1:06PM, June 4, 2000

Kagome wandered aimlessly through the busy streets of Boston. What to do? What to do? She had never been a big city person; she was more of a country gal. She liked clean air and rolling hills. The city was fun for a while… when you had money and someone to spend the time with. She sighed.

_Obsession._

Huh? Now where had that thought come from? What a random thing to think of all of the sudden. Obsession, yeah, she was obsessed. Everything she saw reminded her of him. A cafe made her remember that she had been wrong, he liked nothing in his coffee. At a clothing store she had seen this great shirt that looked just like one of his shirts. A furniture store made her remember how serene he looked while he had slept on the couch just last night.

Oh hell, when she saw an elderly man walking down the street she compared his silver hair to Sesshoumaru's exotically silver hair. Was that obsession for you or what? She laughed lowly at the thought.

_Caring._

Wow, another totally stray thought. This was too painful. She managed to close her mind off and not think of him when she saw a couple staring into each other's eyes on a park bench. She even could ignore the way a couple that looked to be in their mid-thirties held each other tightly, yet comfortably.

It was the wind that gave her shivers, not remembering how his arms felt around her. No fucking way!

Her features pulled into an angry mask and her pace quickened. She passed a few stores, and then without realizing it she had walked into an old store with decrepit books sitting on its shelves. Stands held old antiques that were fading greatly with age. Silver gild lettering caught her eye and she sauntered closer.

_Attraction. _

She shook the word out of her head with a snarl of anger.

She wished it would stop!

She turned quickly and briskly walked down the aisle, and then she slowed. She was going nowhere in here. She wasn't even looking. What was she doing in here? A chill crept up her spine as she finally took in her surroundings. The store was dimply lit and gave off the feeling of darkness and evil. She shook her head at her fancy. Slowly now she started down the aisle, looking at the books and the antiques. She rounded the aisle at the end and came back up this one. There were a few things that attracted her eye, but she did not have the money for them. Off to her left, she found that the gilt lettering was trying to catch her eye again. Curious, she went back to it, for she hadn't read the title the first time.

Cursed Love of the Moon and the Sun.

Hm. How weird. For some reason, she found herself pulling out the book. She did like a good romance every once in a while. It was rather thin, only about 200 pages, much smaller then the average romance book. She turned it over to read the back.

_Love._

The word struck her with double the force as the others. It made her hands freeze on the book. At the top of the back cover of the book the word stood out like a beacon. She read it just a second after the word slammed into her mind. She had to take several breaths to recover from the initial force of it. Her breath came in shudders. Once she had stopped clutching the book to her breast, she turned her eyes down to read it.

/The dawning of the night, the dying of the day. This is when they meet. A kiss casts a powerful spell they cannot lift. It shall shadow them forever, until they are reunited in love.

Each is the others opposite. Dark and light, sweet and tart, outgoing and withdrawn. They mirror each other so totally that they make one complete entity together. Apart, they are halves seeking to be whole. One accepts, the other cannot.

In the end, time will bring them together. But only they can find their happiness./

Kagome blinked. No way. Dur, now she was becoming deranged. A spell, on her and Sesshoumaru? She snorted at the thought. Yeah, right.

She turned around and just about jumped out of her skin to see a portly older woman behind her. "Oh! Hello! I didn't know you were there!" she grinned apologetically and went to put the book back.

"No child. You must have that book." The woman had a definite Japanese accent. Kagome smiled at her.

"I'm sorry. I don't have the money for it." She again went to reshelf the book but an old, weathered hand stopped hers.

"Listen well. This book was meant for you, or the other whom the story tells of." Kagome started. How had the woman known she had been thinking that the story resembled hers and Sesshoumaru's in a way? "Ye must take the book, and read it well." The woman pulled her toward the door.

"I… I can't just take it from you!" She said when she realized the woman meant to give it to her. She thrust the book at the old woman, but it was pushed back at her.

"I already told yea. This curse is yours. You will need this book. Now leave an old lady to herself." She said irritably. Kagome obediently started for the door. When she got to it, she spun around.

"I think I should thank…"

The room was empty.

"…you."

Newport, NH

9:11PM, June 4, 2000

Prowling the streets from the dark was the best way to alleviate his anger. It still pulsed in his veins; though not so hotly and undeniably as it had at the breakfast niche this morning. He didn't know why watching other people calmed him, but it did. He stood passively by while two men toppled out of a bar and immediately began to argue. A fist flew and then all hell broke loose. People rushed over to try and stop the foray. It was only after they were pulled apart that he realized one of them was Inuyasha. He chuckled. That hotheaded idiot.

He slowly made his way toward the group, an amused grin touching his lips. Inuyasha was fighting the men who were holding him tightly by the arms, and others were trying to stop the other man from getting at his brother.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" The other man yelled. He had black hair that was worn up in a ponytail. Most guys would look punkish with it, but the do seemed to fit this guy.

"Stay the fuck away from her, Kouga!" Inuyasha warned. The other guy threw off the others that were holding him but did not attack Inuyasha.

"Why should I? Kagome is MY woman!"

Had that dirt bag just claimed Kagome? Heh, how stupid was he?

"She doesn't want you, brainless. And she never will." Inuyasha retorted. Kouga bristled and then relaxed, glancing at Sesshoumaru.

"Oh look Inuyasha. Its big-bro here to save you." Kouga jibbed. Sesshoumaru's amused smile disappeared.

"I do not save anyone. You can tear each other apart. Do not think I will aid either of you." He watched as the smirk fell off Kouga's face.

"Family values aren't valuable anymore, huh? Well, fuck this. I've got a date with a black-haired beauty." He started away.

"KOUGA! Don't you even touch a fucking hair on her head!" Inuyasha struggled but he was no match for two other people. "Dammit Miroku! Sango! Let me go!" It was then Sesshoumaru noticed that the other person keeping a good hold on his brother was female.

"Ha, you are not strong enough to get free of a weak man and a little woman. Brother, sometimes I wonder that we came from the same father." The amused smirk was back in place. "The woman, Kagome, does not have a date with the brainless one, Kouga." Inuyasha ceased his struggles.

"How the fuck do you know that?" Inuyasha snarled.

"She left for a week-long road trip two days ago. Unless she has returned early, she is not even in this state." He said.

"Feh, and she told you that?" Inuyasha's anger was slowly declining.

"Actually, I heard it through my sources." Sesshoumaru lied smoothly. Inuyasha's brow twitched, but he said nothing for a second.

"Wait, how do I know you ain't lying?" His eyes squinted.

"Because he's not. Kagome's brother told me she had left, and that she had taken someone with her." The woman, Sango, had her eyes trained on him. Shit, she must know. Would she tell?

Inuyasha whirled to face the woman. "You knew?" He asked incredulously. "And you didn't tell me?" He demanded an explanation. Sango sighed tiredly.

"Her brother asked me not to. But since Sesshoumaru has told you, I figured it didn't matter anymore." Her glare made him sure she did know that he had left with Kagome, but had not come back with her. Uncharacteristically, he silently tried to beg her with his eyes to say nothing. She slid her gaze from his and stared at the ground as if arguing with herself whether to say anything. Finally her eyes came up to meet his and relief filled him. Grudging acceptance flickered in her eyes.

"Since you have now been fully informed of the predicament, I shall take my leave of you." He turned and melted into the darkness. He could feel the woman's eyes on his back, that is, until he heard a screech that resembled the word 'hentai' and a loud slap. He chuckled; it was the 'monk' whom had brought her attention away from him. Not that he would ever thank him for it.

He stopped, prompted by something he didn't recognize, in front of a computer store. The sign glittered above him in bright, unbecoming colors. He wielded a passable hand with computers; well, perhaps more then passable. He did a lot of things with computers when bored, which was often. An idea formed slowly in his mind, an idea of how to improve computers. It blossomed slowly, and as he started back down the street toward his house, had totally taken over his mind. A cutting edge computer name… cutting edge, sharp, as in…

Katana. Katana Computer Industries Inc.

It was to be his uplift and his slow downfall.

North Newport, NH.

6:30 PM June 9, 2000

Kagome rolled to a stop outside her little house. There was something sad and nostalgic about it, as if it was some place she had loved and lost and was only visiting momentarily. It reminded her of when she met an old friend in a store with whom she had been very close a long time ago. It gave her joy to see them, and yet, it was sad and painful.

She ruefully smiled at her whimsical feelings and slowly got out of her car, pulling out her keys and locking the door as she did. She stared at the house, memorizing its colors and contours, though she already knew them. She drew her gaze away from the house and to her car, unlocking the trunk and getting out her bags.She shut the trunk again and it slammed with finality. Despite the fact she knew it would make a large bang when she slammed it, she cringed just the same.

She stepped up the walk to the house and opened the door. She dropped her bags, not bothering to shut the door behind her as her eyes took in her house as if she had never seen it before. All of the familiar furniture and colors glared back at her spitefully for leaving them and only coming back to leave again. She breathed deeply the smells of _home. _

"I'm home! Souta? Momma? I'm back from my vacation!" She heard a commotion in the living room and then her brother came in to greet her, hugging her tightly. He was the same height as her at the age of 12 and strong enough so she couldn't breathe when he hugged her. She feigned being choked as he hugged her and he let go of her, laughing and punching her in the arm. She took him by the shoulders.

"Did you tell Sango what I told you to?" She asked seriously. He grinned back at her.

"Course. But Sango called back to tell me to tell you that if you called, she wanted you to know something." He screwed his face up in concentration. Kagome was confused. Sango wanted to tell her when she called that she wanted her to know… Okay, she was confused. She slowly sorted it out in her mind, and then she grasped it.

"What did Sango tell you to tell me?" She asked quickly. Souta was still thinking. Finally his eyes brightened as he remembered.

"Oh, yeah! She wanted you to know that Sesshoumaru accidentally told Inuyasha where you were to stop him from hunting Kouga down and killing him. She said she wanted you to know and to call her as soon as you got in, not a moment later!" He smiled, full of pride that he had remembered the whole thing. She grinned back at him and ruffled his hair.

"Thanks, Souta. I'll go and call her right now." She started into the kitchen as he went back to the living room, surely to finish the movie or TV show she had interrupted. "Oh hey, Souta?" he turned back to her, stepping from foot to foot in his anxiousness to get back to the TV. "Where's mom?"

"She went to the grocery store." He took off before she could keep him any further length of time. She smiled and shook her head, going into the kitchen and picking up the phone. Quickly she dialed Sango's number and waited while it rang twice. She heard the click that meant it had been picked up.

"'Lo?" Sango's voice carried over the phone. Kagome wiped the smile off her face and made her voice as deep as she could, lowering it to just over a whisper.

"_I know what you did last summer!" _She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling over the line. Sango's voice, though not hers because it was muffled and low, came back at her.

"_Yeah? Well I STILL know what you did last summer!" _

"_And I will always and forever know what YOU did last summer!" _Kagome shot back in her low and even voice. She burst into a fit of giggles as she always did and heard Sango's on the other end.

"So, what's been up, hun?" Sango said cheerfully.

"Not too much. I just got back from my road trip. Sorry I didn't take you. It was kind of last minute." She apologized.

"Yeah? Yet you had the time to pick up Sesshoumaru?" Kagome was shocked. Nobody knew that Sesshoumaru was going… no one except…

"SOUTA!" She heard her younger brother swear (Something he had just started doing lately) and take off out of the living room and up the stairs. She glared in that general direction.

"Yeah, I um… He stopped me as I was leaving and said he wanted to go. I don't know what prompted me to let him go…" Dammit if her voice didn't break.

"Kagome? What's wrong? What happened with Sesshoumaru? Why did he come back early, but you didn't?" And Dammit if Sango wasn't the right nosy investigator and get right down to the bottom of her problems right off. How had she known?

"I don't really want to talk about it, Sango. There were problems and he took a train back. End of story."

"You're lying to me."

Sango knew her only too well. She could tell by the simple nuances in her voice, as much as she tried to hide them.

"I wasn't lying, I just didn't tell you everything. And I really don't want to, Okay? Please don't bug me about this, Sango." She pleaded. A short silence buzzed.

"Kagome?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me just one thing, and I promise I'll leave you alone about it after that."

"Fine." She sighed wearily.

"He didn't… touch you in any way, did he? He didn't try anything or something like that, did he?" Sango sounded so worried, and Kagome was so relieved at the question, she burst out laughing. TRY anything? Touch her? Well, come to think of it, yes he had. And then he had shoved her away from him like some whore he had had enough of.

"No, he didn't rape me, Sango. You worry too much. And about the wrong things." She couldn't stop laughing, as stupid as it was. Sango was asking her if she was all right, and the truth was that she probably wasn't. She carefully cradled the phone, ignoring Sango's questions. Immediately her laughter died and a total stillness encompassed her.

She quickly left the kitchen and grabbed her bags, bringing them up into her room. She rapidly went into the unpacking mode, carrying her clothes to their proper places, putting worn ones into the dirty laundry, replacing her little necessities in the bathroom where they belonged.

Her eyes fell on the gilt-lettered book sitting at the bottom of her back. Her hands reached forward to pick it up. She had ignored it for the whole vacation, though her thoughts turned to it often. Many times she had been urged invisibly to get it and read it. And many times she had quelled the urge and ignored the itch in her hands to hold it in her hands and ignored the hunger in her mind to know what it said.

And she could quell and ignore those urges no more.

Her hand opened the book slowly and her eyes feasted on what was written there. She devoured the first page quickly, getting lost in the story of the two opposite lovers who could not find peace. On and on she read, the first chapter, the second and the third.

Hours later she finished it, shutting it slowly and placing it on the bed next to where she sat. She stared at it dumbly, shocked by what she had read. It was impossible, of course. Totally unfeasible and off the wall. There was no way this was real. This book was centuries old, and it was just a story. A story that resembled hers and Sesshoumaru's.

A story that so much paralleled what had just happened to her that it was impossibly impossible.

Yet it had happened.

Hello. I hope everyone is doing well! I'm off groundation… 


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: The Book's Influence

Newport, NH.

8:30 PM, June 9, 2000

Sesshoumaru busily typed on his computer, working on the layout of his business and trying to find a place to put it. There was a nice open lot right in town, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay here. The doorbell interrupted his thoughts, but he ignored it right off and continued to immerse himself in his work. The maid was on duty, she could answer the doorbell. Inuyasha wasn't home, thank god. He typed furiously and when a sharp knock was heard on his door, he almost deleted the whole thing. He swore and got up quickly, wrenching the door open.

"What?" He snarled into the face of a female. The woman was not his maid, but the same one as the one whom he had communicated with silently five days ago. Sango, that was her name, it was one of Inuyasha's and Kagome's friends.

"Inuyasha is not home." He said immediately. He was surprised by the intensely angry look on her face. She swept into his room uninvited and then turned around to glare at him.

"I'm not looking for Inuyasha. He may have hurt her before, but never on the scale you must have."

This got his attention.

"What in the world do you speak of, woman?" He demanded, though he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"My name is Sango and you know what I'm talking about. When Inuyasha cheated on her with Kikyou, she told me all about it, crying over the phone, and then she took off. Whatever you've done to her, she won't even tell me about it." She took a few steps toward him that were supposed to be menacing. She was scary in all of her misdirected fury, though he did not fear her. "What in hell did you do to my friend?" She said, her voice even and low.

"I did nothing to her. It is not something I wish to speak with the likes of you about." He said crisply. She smiled grimly.

"I thought you would say that. But that's why I did some investigation about you first. It wasn't too hard to find out all about your step-mother." He was shocked, but the shock quickly turned into fury, unmitigated, all-consuming fury.

He advanced a step on her. "Bitch." He said quietly. She nodded slowly.

"I might be that. Now you will tell me what you did to Kagome, or else I'll tell everyone all about your past with your stepmother." He took another step towards her, his hands shaking to grasp her neck and choke off her life for prying into his life this way. She didn't budge, the courageous little witch. His hands dropped to his sides and he sat at his desk, gesturing impatiently for her to do the same.

"What specifically is it that you wish to know?" He just about snarled. He had never been angrier, except that day long ago…

"I want to know what has made Kagome as sad and depressed as she is. I want to know why you did not finish the road-trip with her." Sango said quickly.

"Do you know your depressed little Kagome's past?" He asked, his voice infinitely cold and unemotional now that his handle on his emotions was back firmly in his hand. Sango shook her head. "Your dear, sweet Kagome was abused as a child. Her father was sexually abusing her. Her mind must have blanked it from her memory in a survival instinct. At a hotel one night, I came upon her and the hotel clerk struggling when she should have been out walking. He was attempting to rape her. I stopped the guy and later when I asked her about it, she fainted on me and then awoke scared out of her mind. She was rambling about being touched and hit and then how her mother had come upon the scene and stopped it."

Sango looked shocked.

"She could not handle the memory of it and went catatonic on me. She responded to direct commands and did not speak nor move otherwise. I brought her to a park and she came out of it when she saw a little boy about to be hit by a truck. She managed to save the boy from being hit by the car and after that she returned to normal. But she saw me as something more then I was. I admit to trying to help her through it. But she seemed to think that it was something more. The next morning she brought a person in the hotel room and ate breakfast with him while I showered. She then had mistaken my anger at her for being as naïve as she is and letting a total stranger into the room as something other then what it was."

Sango looked as though she didn't quite believe him. He continued, acting oblivious, though he sure as hell wasn't.

"She told me that with all that has happened, she thought of me as more then a friend, and then hinted that she loved me. An impossible, silly thought it was, and I told her so. I told her that it was the result of a few stressful events and my being there when they happened. She got overly angry and then told me that she was still continuing this trip, but if I wanted to go home I would have to find another way. So I did, I rode the train home." He slid a glance at her. "Satisfied?" He growled.

"No, but I will make do with that." She said quietly. Her eyes came to meet his and a question appeared to him quickly. He hardened his gaze, carefully making himself unreadable. "Do you harbor any feelings for her?" She asked.

"No."

"I think your lying. Why else would you have gone with her in the first place? Why did you go looking for her when she went out walking at the hotel?"

"I never said I went looking for her. I came acro-"

"Liar. Like I said, why else would you have gone with her? And why did you try and help her with her obviously psychological problem? Why did you care so much that she had a guy in to eat with her?"

He knew that if he tried to answer her she would call him a liar. He should kill the wench now. If he tied weights to her and threw her into the ocean, no one would ever find her. But he could not, of course. He was no murderer.

And she had seen his weakness. She had seen his entire soul, somehow, despite how well he hid it. He despised her with all of his being. She knew something he had promised himself no one would ever know. Two things he had promised to keep from the world.

"Why don't you just tell her? Why don't you give her a chance? She might learn to love you, if whatever she feels now isn't love. Is she not good enough for you or something? I'll bet you see her as your brother's sloppy seconds. But what you don't know is that she never did anything with him. She's still a virgin in a way, you know. She's never… not willingly anyway."

Sesshoumaru was shaking.

"Get out." He snarled, standing suddenly and looming over this Sango woman. "Leave my house!" His bellow scared her more then anything else had so far. He could see it in her eyes and it made the blood pump faster in his veins. But she would not back down.

"You do love her. And I doubted it." She shook her head, blatantly ignoring her fear. His fist crashed into the door next to her head. He brought his other hand to the other side of her head, caging her. His face was inches from hers.

"Leave this house and never enter it again." He said, his voice full of venom despite the lack of volume. She ducked out from under him but did not run, no, she glared at him and stood there.

"You lie to yourself. Just know that you might have had something with her, and you never will now. I wont let it happen." She slowly walked out of his door and down his stairs. He stared after her in something close to shock before the rage took over.

Sango held her fear in check all the way down his stairs. It was only when she heard his roar of total anger and the splintering crash of his door being thrown shut did she allow her fear to overrun her system. She broke into a headlong flight out of the house and into the balmy night.

Sesshoumaru stared at his broken door, his chest heaving, his blood boiling. He wrenched the door right off its hinges and heaved it to the floor, swearing. Finally he stopped, stumbling back to the bed and sitting down on it, his head in his hands. A great despair washed over him, soaked into every pore on his body. He could not understand why he felt this way, but it would not be denied.

North Newport, NH

9AM, June 21, 2000

Kagome threw her last bag into the car and shut the trunk. She turned back to Sango, Miroku, her mother and Souta. Sango had tears coming down her face and Miroku looked sadder then she had ever seen him. He was always so cheerful and positive. Her mother looked torn between locking her up and throwing her arms around her and never letting go. Souta looked sad, but being his age, he wasn't as effected as the others. He didn't think that he might never see her again, or whatever other thoughts roamed through the others minds.

She stepped forward to her brother and smiled at him warmly. He returned her smile.

"Kagome, when will you come back to visit?" he asked mournfully.

"I'll be back in two years, just two years, that's it. It will pass before you know it." She ruffled his hair. Then she stepped forward to her mother and hugged her warmly. She felt her mother clutch at her and then release her slowly, as if it was painful for her. No words were needed as she stared into her mother's face, smiling.

She hugged Miroku warmly, telling him to take good care of Sango and to quit with the hentai stuff and act like a normal guy. Sango pretended not to hear any of it, even when Kagome whispered in Miroku's ear that he actually had a really good chance with her. His gaze, when they drew back, was serious. She smiled at him and leaned up to kiss him gently on the cheek. Then she turned to Sango, her best friend Sango. They fell into each other's arms.

"I can't believe your really leaving us, Kagome." She sobbed.

"I'm not leaving forever. I can call sometimes and you guys better write back to me when I write." Sango laughed through her tears.

"You can bet I will. Oh, Kagome, I know about everything. I wanted to tell you before you left. I forced Sesshoumaru to tell me. Don't be angry with him for it, okay? Although I can understand why you would be angry at him in the first place."

Kagome drew back, shocked. "You… you know? Why didn't you say anything before now?"

"I wasn't sure I was going to tell you. I didn't think you needed know, and you didn't want to talk about it anyway. So I never mentioned it."

"I… oh. Well, I had better go. I'm going to be late for the flight." She quickly turned and got into her car, starting it and putting it into gear.

"I promise to call and write often. I'll see you soon. I love you all. Bye."

And with that terse but heartfelt goodbye, she stomped on the gas and squealed away from the house she had come to love. She drove a little too fast, her mind not on her driving, but on what Sango had told her. She drove into downtown Newport and found herself slowing down and stopping outside of the Takahashi house. She still had about an hour before she had to be to the airport. She gazed up at the house and killed the engine, staring up and wondering which room was Sesshoumaru's. Inuyasha's car was not in sight. Sesshoumaru's was parked in the driveway. Slowly she got out of the car and shut her door, wondering what she would do next.

Newport, NH.

9:15 AM. June 21, 2000

Sesshoumaru printed out his final plans and looked them over. Everything was perfect, down to the T. He had planned it so carefully, imagining every detail he could. He had decided to buy the place in town that was between the spa and the bookshop. It, of course, would only be the headquarters to his new start up idea. He had it all down on paper, how he would expand, where, and to whom he would sell out to when he had made a name for himself. He quickly shuffled the papers and set them down, getting up and stretching his back. He had been at his computer constantly for the last week and a half.

It was time for a break.

He grabbed his keys and opened his new door, thinking carefully on where he was going. Perhaps he would go to a bar and have a few celebratory drinks. He took the stairs two at a time, moving down them quickly. Soon he was at the front door. He opened it, thinking that it would be rather lonely to drink all alone. Lonely, he was never lonely. He shut the door and started down his front steps.

And that was when he saw her.

She was leaning against her car, looking for all the world, totally lost. She seemed to be the calm in the middle of a chaotic storm of rushing and moving. Her head was bowed and her body was unmoving. He simply stared at her, bereft for words. All around her, the world went on its timely and forceful way, and yet she was still and timeless. As if she sensed his eyes on her she drew her gaze slowly up to his. There was no anger in her gaze, no accusation. She simply looked lost and confused and so sad.

"Sesshoumaru…" It seemed a whisper on the wind, yet he knew it came from her mouth. Finally he came back to himself.

"Why are you here? Don't you leave for Japan today?" She stepped toward him, closer to where he was frozen to the spot. He seemed to be rooted to the ground since having seen her.

"I do. But I don't have to be there for another hour and I just wanted to say goodbye…" She shook her head, the sadness intensifying. "No, that's a lie. I wanted to know what Sango could have done to make you tell her what happened. I know, somehow, that you would never have told anyone if you hadn't been under intense pressure. What does she hold over you, Sesshoumaru?" She walked right up to him, and now she was within reach. His arms ached to hold her; his fingers itched to touch her. His whole body screamed for hers, to feel her against him once again.

"Sango came and asked. I told her what she wanted to know."

"You wouldn't have without some outside force."

"It is not a matter I wish to discuss."

"Please, Sesshoumaru." She closed the small distance between them, laying her hand gently on his arm. "Please. I just want to know. I won't judge you because of it. I don't care what it is. I just want to know what could make you say things you didn't want to."

His limbs were weak. The cap on his control was about to be blown off. As it was it was slowly becoming unscrewed. He tried to tighten it, but his attempt became fruitless when she looked up at him.

"I cannot tell you. I will only say it is a matter that parallels this one in many ways."

His whole body shook when she wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug and laid her head on his shoulder. Despite how he willed his arms to stay at his sides, they slowly came up around her to hold her to him. Something diabolical and molten threatened to explode.

"You can tell me. You know everything about me. Give me this little piece of you. It's the only thing I'll have." Her soft tone almost undid him totally. His tongue tried to loose itself, but this old secret was not one that could be let out totally.

"I once believed in love as you do. It got me into trouble as it has you. That is the topic in subject. That is all I will tell."

His tone held such finality that she did not contradict him. For many moments they stayed like that, holding onto each other, their faces masks of sadness. It was Kagome who moved first. She stretched up on her toes and lightly kissed his cheek, holding her lips there long enough to get control of herself. But it was his control that finally snapped. He clasped her head in his hands and let his lips find hers in a primeval attempt to rid himself of what he felt. But it was no use, his want for her only grew with each little bit he took or received. His lips crushed her in a bruising, possessive kiss, but she returned it with just as much fervor.

He released her with a suddenness that almost sent her to the ground. Long, hurried yet as always graceful strides carried him to his car. His eyes met hers for a brief instant and then he was tearing away.

Kagome watched him and her knees gave way. She fell to the grass, crying quietly. Her head jerked up at the sound of her name.

Same place, five minutes after Kagome arrived at Sesshoumaru's.

Sango was worried about Kagome, that was all. She had been driving far too fast, which meant she was thinking about either Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru. She was guessing it was the latter. She quickly parked her car some ways from Kagome's. She peered from behind a bush and watched as Kagome stood leaning on her car for a full five minutes in front of Sesshoumaru's house. Sango was getting a cramp in her thigh when finally something happened. The front door to Sesshoumaru's house opened. He shut it and started down the steps without even seeing Kagome. At first she thought he was ignoring her. And then he looked up.

Everything on his face told her all she needed to know. The fucker did love Kagome. His eyes were glued to her and he was frozen to the spot as if petrified by her presence. Kagome stepped toward him, and Sango was just far enough away that she didn't hear what was said. And then Sesshoumaru's voice, even in its low tones, carried all the way to her.

"Sango came and asked. I told her what she wanted to know."

Kagome was asking him about the conversation she had had with him. Kagome seemed to want to know it, for some reason.

"You wouldn't have without some outside force."

"It is not a matter I wish to discuss."

"Please, Sesshoumaru."

Kagome had gone to him, laying her hand upon his arm. Sango could hear them both clearly now.

"Please. I just want to know. I won't judge you because of it. I don't care what it is. I just want to know what could make you say things you didn't want to."

Dear, smart Kagome. She knew that Sesshoumaru would not have spoken without her threats. Kagome wanted to know what she had done to make Sesshoumaru talk. Or maybe she just wanted to know what would break Sesshoumaru down enough to talk. She knew he had to have some weakness, and she wondered pitifully what it was.

"I cannot tell you. I will only say it is a matter that parallels this one in many ways."

Kagome reached forward and embraced him like she would an old lover. Sango almost turned her eyes away from it, but she could not. It was painful to see two people who loved each other the way they did be at such odds with each other. They simply misunderstood each other.

"You can tell me. You know everything about me. Give me this little piece of you. It's the only thing I have."

"I once believed in love as you do. It got me into trouble as it has you. That is the topic in subject. That is all I will tell."

Sango knew the whole tale. Sango knew that once before Sesshoumaru had fallen in love with the wrong person and had gotten into major trouble for it. She knew who it was, and why it had been so troublesome. And now she understood why he could not allow himself to get near Kagome. It was because he hated love. He hated what it did to him. He hated what it caused.

She knew, that deep in his heart, he hated what it was doing to Kagome as well.

Kagome had seemed to accept what he had told her, because she did not ask for more. She simply hugged him, and he held her in return. It hurt like hell to watch this. A man who was confused about love, and a woman who might never give him a second chance because he had broke her heart so fully the first time.

Kagome then stood on her toes and kissed his jaw gently, as though to imprint on his mind the feel on her lips on him. Sango almost got up when he grabbed her head and kissed her full on the lips. But Kagome was not pulling from him, no, she was kissing him desperately back. Sango did stand when Sesshoumaru shoved her away from him and strided quickly and lithely to his car. Kagome stumbled away from him and managed to keep her feet under her. Sesshoumaru roared away in his car and Sango's heart just about broke when she saw the tears on her friend's face. Sango rushed forward as Kagome's knees folded under her and she bowed her head in pain.

"Kagome!"

She quickly went to her friend, but Kagome had looked up at the sound of her name and was shaking as she got to her feet. Her face held nothing as she stared at Sango. Sango had stopped, because perhaps she was seeing what Sesshoumaru had seen when he had come out of the house. Timelessness, stillness. Her face was etched in loneliness and despair. And yet, there was no accusation, no blame directed in her gaze toward Sango. There was no anger. Instead, there seemed to be an acute calmness the surrounded her like a dense cloud.

She smiled slowly at Sango before climbing into her car and driving slowly away.

Sango stood there for many moments, because she detected something about Kagome, something she knew that neither her, nor Sesshoumaru, knew. Kagome seemed to hold some higher knowledge of the future or the past that she dared not give out for fear she would be wrong.

Sango wanted to know what it was. She watched as her best friend drove away, remembering that her last image of Kagome would be that lost, sad, calm look.

Shorter then the others, I know. But I decided not to add any more to it. I like it just the way it is.

RyuuAngel


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Dream

Somewhere above Japan.

6:45AM, November 15, 2001

She hated plane rides. But it was necessary, for more then one reason.

Japan, though it was beautiful, held nothing for her. She thought it may be a new place to start over, but it was nothing of the sort. Kagome did love Japan, learning the language and everything else. But soon she found herself so very homesick for the sweet, old, U.S. of A. she thought maybe if she gave it time, it would go away. But it did not. When a year passed and still her stomach gnawed at her constantly, she changed subjects, deciding to own a small business. A business management class, an accounting class, and a Japanese class now made up her schedule. She spent her free time reading and surfing on the computer. Soon she found herself restless and started looking for something else to do. Maybe she would get a job or something…

And then a phone call had come. At first, her mother's babbling had not been clear and impossible to understand. She thought she'd heard… but no, it was wrong.

"Momma! Stop and start again. What's wrong?"

"Oh, Kagome. Souta, he's dead. He was killed in a car crash."

"..." She could think of nothing to say.

"He was going to see a friend. The whole family died in the crash. Oh Kagome, he's really _gone._ I don't know what I am going to do." She could hear her mother sobbing on the other end. Shock filled her.

"Momma? Are you okay there for a day or two? I'll be there as soon as I can." She had hung up listening to her mother's weak protests. She had packed her clothes, quickly. She had called the people she had to inform them she would be leaving. The few friends she had made had been called as well to let them know what was going on. They all kept asking her if she was okay, as if she was going to have a mental meltdown any second.

She could afford to rent a private plane to get her back ASAP since she was not going to pay for the rest of the second term. They said the soonest they could do was 6 AM the next morning.

And now she sat in the plane wishing she had brought the pills so she could sleep. Her eyes wanted to shut, but they would not stay shut. An image of the car crash played over and over in her mind. She wished she was old enough to drink legally she could get a glass of something strong.

The damn book peeked innocently back at her from her purse, daring her to touch it. She glared back at it, grinding her teeth.

"Okay, so your another one up on me. 'The lovers always find their way back to the same place.' I got ya on it. I'm going back, are you happy?"

She must sound nuts, talking to a frigging book.

She turned to look out the window and just stared, knowing that this was going to be one hell of a long plane ride.

Downtown Newport, NH.

6:20PM, November 15, 2001

She was coming back.

Not to him, of course. Her brother had been cruelly killed in an innocent car accident. What a horrid thing to come home to. He wondered if she planned to stay here, and then swore at himself for wondering. What difference did it make if she did? _It makes a difference. That Sango was right, you love her._

He got up restlessly from his office chair, ignoring the papers spread out on the desk. So far his business was coming along nicely with his available funds. It was already making a name for itself. The Katana computer was quickly becoming an even better quality to have then the Gateway computers or the newer Dell computers. His ideas to improve computers had been taken with a great fervor and he had been applauded soundly. It felt like an unnecessary step. And yet all of it was dissatisfactory and stupid, no matter how well he did. Though his computers did not sell quite as well as the others, it was because they were more expensive and only available to some who had the money. Bill Gates himself had bought one and said it was far better then his would ever be.

It was insipid, misunderstood and made him more and more restless. He didn't want the recognition or the publicity. He didn't know what he wanted.

He found his jealousy of his brother gnawed constantly at him and stopped his work in the middle of something. Anger struck for no other reason then something would remind him of her or his brother. Damn idiot that he was, Inuyasha had no idea of course of what he held. And Sesshoumaru could not bring himself to tell his brother. It was weak, it was putrid and disgusting that he had not the will to bring his own brother to his senses and allow him happiness. Not even if it meant allowing Kagome happiness, for he wanted her happiness for himself.

He did not try to deny what he felt for her anymore. It was pointless. And with her gone, he could admit it freely to himself. He could have even given the information to that woman friend of Kagome's, Sango. But let his brother see it? Never. Nor anyone else, especially the girl. He could never have her know. Yet, now that she was back, it was his feeling that once again pestered him. His restlessness increased to the point where once again he found himself leaving his desk and going out for a walk. His thoughts rushed around, unsteadying him. Once again, her words flew at him, all of them.

Obsession, caring, attraction. Those ones rang in his head continuously as if they had only been said an hour before. And now, the whole conversation assailed him.

"You bastard. No wonder you're so cold. Have you told every woman who fell in love with you this little line?"

He had never told anyone those words, they hadn't been necessary. He had been sure to keep his distance with anyone who tried to get close to him.

"I won't say you love me, because that I don't know, but there's something there, and you can feel it. I don't know why you have to deny it. Why, Sesshoumaru?"

He knew why. That woman Sango must have figured it out by now. Oh, he had known she was hiding in the bush that day when Kagome had left for Japan. It was the thing he had noticed right after he realized Kagome was there. She was dearly concerned for her friend, almost over protectively concerned. But his thoughts had been lost when Kagome had turned her calm and accepting eyes to his.

He hated hurting her. He hated the fact that she had felt the way she did. How in the world how he allowed it? Where had he gone wrong? Perhaps it was that time during the sunset, or the other in the hotel when in a weak moment he had allowed her to soften him enough to do as she wished. Sleeping with her in his arms had been the lowest -and the highest- point in their trip. Then again, perhaps it was his jealous and angry reaction to her stupidity of bringing a man (boy, he thought stubbornly) into the hotel room with her. The thought still brought a whisper of fear and anger into his body.

He told his secretary he was going out for a while, and on a whim, got into his car. He drove fast and hard, letting the wind whip through his hair. The top was down on his Mustang GT. He drove by the old airport and was reminded that Kagome would come back, sometime today. And then he noticed that a plan was flying far to low overhead. In fact it was headed for the old airport. He watched as the small jet dropped down and landed smoothly. A single figure got out and he knew it was she. Her head came up and searched all direction, before her eyes fell on him. She started and then she turned her back on him. She talked to a man to her right for a moment and frowned. Even at the distance he could see there was something wrong.

In spite of himself, he found he was turning his car down the airport road and towards her. He studied her as he went, noting the changes and the similarities. Her hair was even longer then it used to be, and her figure was slimmer, all of the baby fat on her body was gone. Her eyes were still endlessly deep gray blue, but the fizzy, brimming life was gone from them. There was sadness that always laced her gaze now.

She still held herself in the same manner, and her lips still made him think things he did not want to. Her beautiful long legs were bared to see as she used to, usually in a short skirt. The air of innocence still surrounded her like a visible dense cloud that he felt he needed to penetrate. He stopped ten feet from her and got out of the car, shutting the door and staring at her. She was staring right back at him. He saw her glance towards the sun almost furtively, as if she wished it would set. Perhaps she enjoyed the time during dusk when the sun sat on the edge of the world for some people. Maybe, like him, she thought of their time on that beautiful cliff where they had kissed. Or maybe he was being incorrigibly stupid.

"Is there a problem?"

Why would he ask her that? Did he have to be blind to see the obvious pain and worry in her cavernous eyes?

"I seemed to have forgotten to call my mother to let her know what time I was getting off the plane. I needed a ride home. But I can find one." She shrugged, as if she knew what he was going to ask, but letting him know he did not have to. It seared him to think that she might not want his help or might think he did not want to give it.

"I am currently driving around out of boredom. I can go that way as easily as wherever else I was going to go."

She smiled gently. "That would be overly gracious of you. But it is no big deal, I can find another ride." It wasn't that she didn't want his help. Her smile told him so. It was she didn't want him to do something he didn't want to. He thought of strangling her, but then bit his pride.

"I can give you the ride. Get your bags." His voice was not a smooth as usual, it was gruff. She seemed oblivious to it, for she did as he told her, picking up her bags and putting them in the trunk when he opened it. He slammed the trunk harder then he needed to and opened her door absently for her. When she smiled at him, his breath caught.

She was so goddamned beautiful! Her mane of ebony hair framed her slim face and deepened her eyes in the shadow. Her softly curved lips begged to be taken, to be ravaged.

He slammed her door as well and then glided around the car in light strides and got in his side. He started the engine and roared out onto the road faster then he should have. Quietly, her voice penetrated his angry, hazy mind.

"My brother got killed in a car." There was no fear in her voice, but he slowed down just the same. What kind of asshole was he? A glance at her face proved she was studying his profile the same way he had when she had driven on their trip. And like him, she did not look away when he caught her; she stared right back at him and continued to gaze him as he turned back to the road. He started to know how she must have felt those two years ago, although suddenly it seemed like yesterday.

"I'm sorry." His voice was soft, silky, but true. She cocked her head.

"Hmm?"

"Your brother."

"Oh. Thanks. I'm sure we'll get over it."

He didn't like it. There were no tears, no regrets. It was as if she didn't understand yet that she would never see him again, that he was gone forever.

"You never really get over things like that. You'll always remember the things you didn't get to do with him, or the things you'll never be able to do again. He was your brother, and most likely your only brother. He will never be back." He kept an eye on her, hoping he might have gotten to her. He was not doing it to be mean, he was not insensitive. He was doing it because she was holding it inside her, and it would be best if she broke down now and not with her mother.

He thought so, until he saw the shock on her face, the anger; then saw it dissolve into abject realization. The tears in her eyes nearly broke him. His fingers twitched to wipe away the tears running down her face. He wanted to hold her until she stopped crying. He wanted to make all the pain he had just brought on go away. But he could do nothing but watch as she cried silently in the passenger seat.

"I don't think I even realized it was true until you said that. It never really registered, as if I thought it wouldn't be real as long as I didn't believe it was real. Oh Jesus, he's really gone, isn't he?" She brought a hand up to wipe at the tears. He handed her a napkin in the glove compartment. She smiled blearily at him, her eyes sparkling with moisture, her mouth trembling.

"Thanks."

He grunted an answer. She reached across the car and squeezed his hand, making his attention on the road totally falter for a moment. He regained it icily, thinking of snapping at her or snatching his hand from hers. He turned to do that; angry at the way he could procure such emotion in him.

"I mean it, Sesshoumaru. I know what you did. If I had done this to my mother… the poor woman. She didn't need that too. I have to be strong for her, and you've helped me do that." She gave his limp hand one last squeeze before releasing it.

More tears squeezed out of her eyes. "Oh god I'm going to miss him." Her chin trembled and he realized she was about to really go off the edge. He found a dirt road and turned off on it, pulling off to the side out of sight from the road. He cut the engine and turned to her just as she did.

"Why did he have to die?" She sobbed. "He was so young!" A wail escaped her lips and she began to cry in earnest.

"I don't know." He answered quietly. She turned her face to his, the sobs racking her.

"You know," Another sob wretched her. "He liked you." She wiped at her eyes, sobbing uncontrollably. Sesshoumaru was shocked beyond reason. He waited until her sobs had abated enough to allow her to talk and then questioned her.

"What did you mean by that?" She seemed to know exactly what he was asking.

"I asked him." A hiccup. "I always asked him about my boyfriends." He ignored that as she sniffed. "He said that Inuyasha was okay, and could be a real jerk. He never really liked Inuyasha. But he said you were really a nice guy, and that you were pretending to be mean so no one would bother you. He said that you were okay, and that I should ignore how mean you were. He said that he thought you liked me better then some other people." She smiled. "I never knew how right he was."

He chose not to comment on this. Children were said to see people how they really were. The boy had him down pat. It was rather sad that the young boy had died in the car crash, especially so because it hurt her so much. They sat in silence while her crying slowly became nothing more then a sniffle or two. Her make-up was a mess, her eyes rimmed red and her cheeks still wet with the liquid she missed. He took her old tear-stained napkin and threw it on the floor before taking another from the glove box and handing it to her, pulling the mirror down for her. She took one look at it and was horrified.

The chuckle escaped him before he could stop it. She darted a look at him. Then she sighed.

"Its not as if I should worry about how I look to you. After all, you've seen this side of me far too often. But I should clean up for my mother." He just watched her, slightly amused, as she carefully cleaned up the make-up that had run down her cheeks. When she was done, she put the mirror up and turned to him, looking him directly in the eyes.

"Better?" She smiled gently. He felt very uncomfortable. He could not ignore her when she asked him something directly, and something within him would not allow him to say what his mind told him to.

The rational part of his mind screamed that he could not tell her what he thought.

The other part of him yearned to tell her that she radiated pure, innocent sensuality and extraordinary beauty.

"Your mother will never know." He figured that was safe. She smiled as if he had paid the highest of compliments.

"I hope not."

He started the engine and turned around on the dirt road before getting back onto Main Street. He made his way to her house and stopped in front of it. He jumped out, opening the trunk and handing her the bags in it. She took them and stepped right to him, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, for almost everything. I'll see you sometime." She turned from him as he stayed there, rooted, struck. She went into the house and closed the door slowly as he watched. Only when he heard the click of the door could he find the ability to move again. Confusion angered him, and still he felt a soft glow in the pit of his stomach. It could not be extinguished, as hard as he tried. He tried to sort out his thoughts, but it was not possible. He drove mindlessly to work, parking his car and went into the office without seeing that he was doing it.

After all he had done to her, she forgave him? Did she, or was she acting on something else? Or perhaps she saw that what he had said was truth and was glad for it?

Whatever the reason, he decided, it just proved he did not deserve her. It hardened his resolve to let her know nothing of his own feelings. He would stay away from her; he would get out of her life. She did not need his help. She did not need him. And she certainly did not love him.

He did not need this either. Or so he told himself over and over.

Downtown Newport, NH.

4:45PM June 1, 2004

The Jewel of Hope.

It was her bookstore. She had opened it not long after her brother had died two and a half years ago. It was her precious jewel, she had started it and expanded carefully, and now it thrived in the downtown. It was the only bookstore in town, so she did good business. She had carefully researched and set her prices just below any bookstores in nearby towns. She had made sure she had a full variety of books, including all the new releases. Her store was always clean and never really crowded, although it wasn't that large. Just this last year she had started a packaging and shipping option complete with a magazine so consumers could buy them out of catalogues and have their choice of books sent back to them.

Kagome didn't know exactly where the name had come from. She had just been thinking of what kind of small business to own when that damned gilt lettered book had caught her eye and winked imperiously at her. The idea for a bookstore had popped into her head and she had sketched it out that minute. Hours later she had finished and was looking back over her idea. She realized that it was really possible, that she could do this. The name had popped out of nowhere as she had stared at her plans. It was her little jewel, her hope that she could forget Sesshoumaru someday.

And here she was thinking about him again. It seemed no matter what she did, he was on her mind. Oh, it wasn't as often that she stopped work to remember something that had happened between them, only this last year had she stopped doing that all the time.

She finished checking over an order for the whole Harry Potter set by J.K. Rowling and the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman and then handed the list over to Sango. She smiled at her business partner and her thoughts again wandered. If Sango hadn't agreed to open the store with her, it might never have happened.

The lot she had found on Main Street had been for sale only, and she did not have enough money to buy the whole thing. She had tried finding somewhere else that she could rent until she saved up the money to buy it, but there was nowhere else. She had been pouring out her fresh heartache (not really, she had been sarcastic) to Sango, who immediately asked her if she wanted a partner. Kagome had been delighted. Sango had been left quite a hefty sum of money by her parents and had plenty to dish out, though Kagome only allowed her to pay for exactly half of everything. She was going to be fair Dammit, no matter how many times Sango said she just didn't care!

Kagome went and collected the books for the order, eight of them in all since Rowling had only come out with five of her seven books, and proceeded to wrap them up. When Sango handed her the slip of receipt, she carefully laid that on the top of the package as well before closing the package up and setting it on the pile to mail out tomorrow morning. Most of her customers received the order two weeks from sending out their form. Although, cross-country ones sometimes took longer, as well as out of country ones, though they only sold to Canada.

"I think we're about set here. Do you want me to close up?" Kagome checked the clock, it was 4:58, and they closed at 5:00 on the dot. All of her customers knew that and were politely out of the store by 4:55 most of the time.

"Nah, I've got it. You closed up yesterday, remember? And besides, if I remember right, we've got to be totally fair in this. You closed up yesterday. I got today." Sango held up a finger as Kagome opened her mouth. "Don't even try and argue. Now shoo! Go home and get some rest. I cannot believe you got here as 5AM to collect that shipping order." She groaned. "And you said the store was suppose to open at 7, which is early enough!" Kagome grinned as she grabbed her purse and was just about thrown out the door. True, it had been a long day, but that order she had been waiting for had finally come in, calling to say that they would be a little early and could she be there at five? She had dragged herself into wakefulness and managed to get to the store just before the delivery did, thank god.

And now to home she went, probably to take a long shower, maybe even a bath just because she could, and curl up with a new romance book by Nora Roberts. Or maybe she'd go back to that book by Jayne Ann Krentz and finish that first. She had yet to read that book she been given as a present five years ago, Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand. But she was in the mood for a romance tonight, so Nora Roberts it was.

She drove home quickly, marveling in her recently bought Ferrari with the top down. She was still paying it off, but as long as nothing went wrong, she would have it for hers in two years. The wind blew her hair all around her and she slipped her sunglasses on to keep the hair out of her eyes as well as to reduce the glare of the bright sun.

Hardly three minutes later she was home in North Newport, pulling into her same old driveway and parking her car. She recently, as in six months ago, had remodeled the house. It was actually a rather large house compared to the little ones next to it. It was two stories with an attic and a basement, more then enough room for her and her mother. Four bedrooms and two bathrooms completed the upstairs, while downstairs they had a huge bathroom with a whirlpool she had splurged on a year and a half ago. A nice, spacious dining room, living room and kitchen completed their downstairs. The basement had a pool table she never used, a dartboard, their washer and dryer, and some boxes of stuff that was considered their 'storage'.

Quickly she pulled the top up on her car and locked it, using a canvas to cover it up for the night. It was very improbable that she would be going anywhere tonight, after all. And she wouldn't want inches of dust on her new black car since she didn't have a garage. No, she wasn't rich, so she carefully took care of whatever she had. Not that she wanted to be rich, she was quite happy just getting along the way she did. Content, sort of. There was an awful nagging that hit her harder some times harder then others, but this had nothing to do with money. No, she noticed it particularly when she thought of Sesshoumaru; a restlessness, and sometimes a deep hunger for not his body, but just him. She wanted to see him, to talk to him, to laugh and smile with him. The ache to feel his arms around her seemed like a long lost forgotten habit that would not go away.

And again, she was thinking about him. It had been a few days since she had let herself drown in her empty thoughts. She had disciplined herself so she would not let the pain get to her this way. It seemed discipline had gone down the drain today. She sighed, going into her house and calling to her mother.

"Momma! I'm home! Did you cook supper?" She could smell it even though the kitchen was on the opposite side of the house. She followed her nose and found that her mother had cooked. Her mother sat smiling back at her, a roast sitting on the table before her, a pot filled with peas on the other side of it, mashed potatoes sitting behind both of them. She returned her mother's smile.

"Yes, I did cook. I have nothing else to do since you started working so hard for both of us." He mother gave her a meaningful look. "That and the housework was easy today. So I cooked supper, and while I was cleaning I baked some chocolate chip cookies as well."

Kagome swept over to her mother and kissed her on the cheek. "Chocolate chip are my favorite! You ARE the best mother there ever was." She sat down and filled her plate, cleaning it away almost as fast. Kagome finally stopped long enough to talk as she got her second helping. She had forgotten to eat lunch today with all the work she had been doing.

"I don't work all that hard. The bookstore has just been very successful, thanks to Sango. Did I tell you that you are a saint? This roast is done perfect!" She continued to eat until she thought she would pop.

Finally it seemed she could fit no more in her bottomless stomach. She cleaned off the plates before her mother stopped her. "Don't you dare! I'm so bored it's not even funny. I will clear the plates while you go and relax!" Kagome smiled gratefully.

"You know, I can stay long enough to help you with the dishes-"

"No." Her mother glared at her, and then her expression softened. "You work your poor body to death, Kagome. You need to relax more. Sango's not the only reason your store is succeeding. Now go take a long bath and kick back for a while. Goodnight dear!" She practically pushed Kagome out of the kitchen. Kagome smiled softly. Her mother really was a saint.

The stairs she ascended had a fluffy green carpet that was impossible to get clean if you did not take care of it often. She entered the first door on the left, switching on the light as she did so and shutting the door behind her. A large bed with a lacy, tall canopy held the center right hand wall of the room. It was draped with silk sheets of a light blue to match the light blue curtains covering the windows. A navy carpet covered the floor and beautiful dark oak bureaus adorned two of the walls. One was tall, almost five feet in height, while the other to the set was squat with a tall, beautifully carved mirror sitting atop it. To the left of the bed was a door that led to a closet.

It was this closet that she went to now, opening it and pulling out a silken robe and a sheer piece of lingerie. She wore it for no one other then herself; it was cool and comfortable in the hot summer nights. From the bottom of the closet she pulled out a portable radio with fresh batteries in it. She closed the closet and hummed as she left the room and headed down the hall. The last door on the left she opened and entered into, clicking the light on. The toilet was a pristine white, so was the sink and the shower and the whirlpool. All of these had bronze fixtures. The rugs, shower curtain and towels were a light crystal purple. There was a fuzzy purple cover on the toilet seat. The walls were also that crystallized purple. The floor tiles were white that was etched in the same purple. The lights on the ceiling and above the mirror were a bronzy color to match the other bathroom fixtures.

She didn't know why she had a full size bath when she had a whirlpool, until now. She didn't want to sit in the whirlpool. She wanted to soak in bubbles and listen to soft music. Which is exactly what she did, starting the bath, adding bubbles, and then shedding her clothes while it ran. When it was so full that she feared it would overfill when she got in, she stopped it and stepped in. She held her breath as she lowered herself into the hot bubbly water, waiting for her body to get used to it. She pulled the radio to her and turned it on, keeping the volume low but putting her variety station on, 101.7 came in quite well. Then she slid farther down into the water and began to relax. She tried desperately to keep her mind clear by softly singing the songs that came on the radio. A knock came on the door and she frowned, starting.

"Momma?"

"Yes, hun. I thought you might like a drink since you didn't have one with supper." She smiled; her mother was so considerate.

"Come on in." She called. Her mother opened the door, not with just a drink, but also a plate full of cookies. She gave a gasp of delight. "The cookies! I had forgotten! Oh, mother," She brought her glittering gaze to her serene mother. "You really are the best. I love you so much." She thought she would choke up in another second.

"I knew you'd like it." She came forward and set the cookies on the floor beside the tub ad then handed her the glass. Kagome noticed the contents and her eyebrows rose.

"Wine? I didn't know I was rich." She joked. Her mother only smiled softly.

"You need to relax. And sometimes I do remember that you are 22 now and plenty old enough to drink."

"Thanks, Momma." She took a sip of the wine and then snaked her hand out for a cookie. She took a huge bite and sighed, closing her eyes in pure bliss. "Still warm and gooey. Oh, this is heaven." She opened her eyes to send an appreciative glance her mother's way.

"Well, goodnight dear. Make sure and wake me up tomorrow morning. I want to talk to you before you go to work, okay?" She nodded and her mother opened the bathroom door.

"Night, Momma."

"Night." She closed the door behind her. Kagome took a long sip of the wine, wishing she didn't have it as the memories assailed her. Her eyes closed and she tuned out the radio as his voice became most prominent in her mind. She took another long pull from the wineglass.

He was sitting on the loveseat on the nice hotel he had rented for them. She had drunk far too much already and was quite tipsy. She had told him to kiss her if she told him all he wanted to know about her past. And then, when he had only given her a peck on the cheek, she had leaned forward and kissed him. She could feel the fire running through her as his hands came up and around her.

She opened her eyes and shivered, but more images played before her blank eyes.

She was dropping her sheer nightgown to the floor and stepping towards him, pressing her lips to his. Hunger burned through her, sure and deep. The deep aching in her lower body was only heightened as their bodies pressed together.

She sighed and let the memories come, not giving a damn anymore. She couldn't stop them.

She was watching him the next morning; his long, muscled body leaned over the table as he watched her with the phone to his ear.

And another.

_He was approaching her, ankle deep in water. The sunlight outlined his finely chiseled muscles and gilded his silvery hair as it blew around his shoulders. His eyes were deep and seemed to be made of melded heat. He was clad only in his boxers, his long lithe legs bare for her eyes. His chest was hairless and told of quiet strength. His lean hips barely held on the scrap of clothing he wore._

She let her eyes flutter back closed and sank lower in the water. It was her favorite memory, the one when she drove them to the beach and then jumped into the frigid water. It was the only time they had kissed and he had not pushed her away. The sun had been setting behind her and had flashed brilliantly on him. He had resembled a god with his perfect, gold tinted body and flowing long hair.

His face imprinted itself firmly on her memory from the last time she had seen him when he had driven her home from the airport. She had watched him, taking in every detail. His face was long and lean, all sharp angles with pale, perfect skin stretched over his sharp cheekbones. His skin was not just pale, it seemed to shine with health despite its lack of color. She remembered the way his hair had blown like a live thing around as they drove, a silvery shimmer going through it. She had longed to touch it, to touch him.

_The sun was setting as her lips melded with his. He was holding her closely, flush against his hard length. Her body was melted into his, her knees weak where she stood. The wind whipped around them suddenly, but it was a background thing, not important to them. Then the wind was tearing at their clothes and snapping their hair around them. Her black hair and his silver were mixed as they heedlessly continued to kiss and hold each other. And then they were being pulled apart by outside forces, a white light surrounding them. It grew brighter as they grudgingly relinquished each other and surrendered to the intense light._

_The wind was becoming two forms in the light, and the light seemed to devour them. But then it was fading and yet the figures remained. Kagome then realized that Sesshoumaru was a few steps from her on the clearing atop the cliff with these two beings. The wind died completely and the two people, stark naked though they seemed not to mind it, stood before her, staring at her. The man was almost a replica of Sesshoumaru, the same lithe, lean form, the same finely sculpted mouth and angular face. The hair that swirled as if alive with was a silvery color._

_Kagome switched her eyes to the woman and started. She felt like she was looking in a mirror. Her legs were long and finely made; her tight stomach was the same size and shape as hers, with the same amount of muscle tone. Her breasts were the same size as hers, with high areoles the same color as hers. The neck was long and thin, the face was slightly round with blue-gray eyes staring right back at her._

_But something about both of them set them apart from her and Sesshoumaru. There seemed to be an unearthly quality to both of them. There was an aura of timelessness, of a lack of substance. They seemed to be a god and goddess come down from the heavens. The glow around them seemed to turn them from ordinary beings into beautiful creatures not of this earth._

"_Kagome…" The woman said her name like a whisper. It seemed that she spoke not aloud, but in her mind. "You are the one. You must end it."_

"_What do you mean? What are you talking about?" She was surprised to hear her thoughts voiced aloud._

"_You shall break the curse and set us free. Kagome… it is up to you. You must give him the book. You must let all fall into place, as it should. You are the one."_

"_A book?" She heard Sesshoumaru ask._

"_The book." Kagome whispered._

_The two beings nodded. The man stepped forward._

"_You must believe in this book, Sesshoumaru. You must. She may be the one, but you must both believe to end the curse. You must help her."_

_And then the beings were fading, and so was the scene. The details became fuzzy and then disappeared altogether._

She awoke slowly, stretching and snapping her eyes open. She was in the tub; the water was cold around her.

A dream, only a dream. But a dream that would haunt her for the rest of her night.

'_It's six o'clock and time for another 40 minutes of the best variety…' _The radio continued to buzz.

Newport, NH.

6:00PM, June 1, 2004

Sesshoumaru sat up with a start, swearing as he realized he had fallen asleep during work.

'_It's six o'clock and time for another 40 minutes of the best variety…'_

He turned the radio off with annoyance. Next time he would be sure to not turn the radio on while he worked! He looked at the paper on the table before him, but his mind would not stay on it and strayed to the dream. What an uncanny dream, about him and Kagome and that cliff at dusk… Those beings had been so unearthly, so bizarre. And what they had said, something about Kagome being the one and breaking a curse. Then something about a book she had to give him. He shook his head. He was overtired and over worked. He concentrated on the paper in front of him.

He was on the last page and all he had to do was sign his name. It was the paperwork that would make his computer company some one else's and make him a multi millionaire. He would work these long days no more, for this was the last of it. He signed his name to the papers and straightened them out, reaching out to make the phone call to announce it to his buyers. But then he put the phone back. It was too late to reach them, he did not have a home phone number and they left the office at five like any normal businessperson. He stood and put the papers in his briefcase, getting ready to head home. The room would be vacated tomorrow; he would have his business to keep his mind off her no more. He wondered what in hell he was going to do with himself.

He grabbed his jacket and briefcase and left the office, not bothering to look at it one last time. He would sleep tonight after having a few glasses of wine and taking a hot shower to relax his muscles. He would call the buyer in the morning.

Hours later when he had soaked in the shower and had four glasses of wine, his mind was still immersed in the dream as he lay in bed trying to sleep.

Done. Whew! Now on to chapter nine eventually…

Later!

RyuuAngel

PS: Email me anytime. 


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Silver Linings

North Newport, NH

3:45AM, June 2, 2004

Kagome awoke into the still dark morning fretfully, feeling as if she had never slept. Her mind replayed with sharp images from the same dream, over and over. She rolled onto her stomach restlessly and looked at her alarm clock, groaning when she saw the time. She'd probably slept all of three hours so far. She buried her head in the pillow and thought sleepy thoughts, then tried clearing her mind to sleep. Counting sheep didn't work at all, no matter how hard she tried to focus on the sheep, other visuals came to mind, including clear recollections of Sesshoumaru as he stood ankle deep in crystal clear water, his deep amber eyes focused intensely on her-

Then of course the same dream kept invading just as her mind saw the sheep jumping over the fence and running to freedom…

Perhaps it was time to go and see a psychologist. Or maybe she should just send him the goddamned book and say the hell with it. Maybe he would take it, wonder why in hell she sent it to him, and then throw it away. Or maybe he would ask her why she had given it to him…

And just what in hell would she tell him? 'Oh yeah, Sesshoumaru. I believe in curses and stuff so when I had this unbelievable dream that these weird people told me to give it to you, I did just that! Why, didn't you like it?'

Sure. That would be smart. Or maybe she could just say that it was a present, or maybe she should put it on her doorstep anonymously, then he would never know it was her.

She wasn't going back to sleep, was she? She picked up the clock and groaned when she saw the time.

4:15AM.

She rolled off the bed and stretched, yawning. The deep burgundy silk slithered delightfully over her skin. She ran a hand through her hair so it stayed back and was not all knotted. Her footsteps did not echo as she crossed the floor because of her plush rug. She went slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen, pulling out a tall glass of orange juice. She downed that to get rid of the taste in her mouth before starting coffee.

Black, that was how he liked it. She would NEVER forget.

She poured herself a cup when it finished brewing and added an ice cube before trying a taste. It was so bitter she nearly spit it out. Well, black coffee was out the window for her, that's for sure. Adding milk and equal, she wrinkled her nose at the gross taste in her mouth. She sipped the coffee now and smiled in satisfaction. It was amazing how merely adding a couple of teaspoons of sugar and a little milk could change a simple cup of coffee.

God it was so damned early. Running her hand over her eyes did little to reduce the sleepy feeling from them. The coffee wasn't helping yet either. Even three cups of coffee did little to help her. She finished off that cup and poured a fourth, taking it up to her bedroom, sipping at it along the way. She was going to piss like a racehorse later. Drawers were sifted through and clothes put neatly folded on the bed, a long casual blue dress made of a fabric something like silk. It whisked down around her ankles and had slits that went all the way up to her thighs. The shoulders were caps and it dipped to a V in the front. She didn't wear this one often since it was long and she preferred to keep her long legs bare. She was very partial to short skirts and sometimes shorts. When she wore pants, it was either loose ones for comfort or hip huggers when it was cold and she didn't feel like shivering. So wearing this dress was not something she did often.

She wondered why she had the urge to wear it today. She didn't bother with a strapless bra beneath it. The thong she added to the pile was a creamy blue that would not show up underneath the dress. The shower she took was quick, cold, and totally useless in waking her like she thought it would. Christ she felt like the walking dead. It couldn't be from the two glasses of wine she had drunk last night, could it? After all, it was only two glasses…

Quickly she dressed and dried her hair. She brushed it straight behind her ears and despite herself applied a little makeup to her face. She didn't wear makeup often, hardly ever actually. She hoped that the thin black line beneath her eye would draw customer's gazes from the dark circles under it.

It was now quarter of six and she had another hour and fifteen before she had to be to the store. What in the world was she going to do with herself…?

Her eyes fell on the book sitting there on the bed, facing her, taunting her. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, sighing. If this really was some sort of curse, Dammit to hell. It had caused her enough pain to last a century or more. How about her eternal soul? Yeah, that sounded about right.

She stopped to read a passage that caught her eye. It was the part that mentioned the technicalities of the curse. Something about trials and hardships that they most both endure. Then it detailed about how they should help each other through these hardships. She sighed, because given that the curse was true, which of course it was not, then they had already failed that. They had only caused problems for one another. She had never done anything to help him, and she did not understand what he might be going through. What was it that kept him from loving her, besides this stupid curse? A curse that did not exist in all likeliness. So what kept him away from her?

Perhaps she had read him wrong after all and he felt nothing for her. As much as she didn't want to believe this, it was entirely possible. Even a probability; after all, he was the cold and uncaring Sesshoumaru. According to most people, he did not have friends or lovers. He was stubborn, icy, and unemotional.

But she had seen something else, she was sure of that much. His warm body and his hot mouth plundering hers did not seem cold or unfeeling. The way his hands had so expertly touched her, the sweetness of his kisses, none of it added up to what she had been told. Neither did other things; such as the way he had held her that night while she slept, or other times when she had cried. She could remember the worry in his eyes that had been apparent more then once, including the time she had saved the young boy from being run over by a truck. She could still picture that awful man flying across the room after he had kicked a door down to get to her. And the anger and fear in his eyes when he had come out of the shower to realize she had invited a strange man she didn't know into the motel with her. When she had ridden home with him from the airport he had intuitively questioned her out of her shock and back into reality before she had gotten home to her mother.

More memories spun around her and her eyes misted over but no tears fell. There were none to shed. Not anymore. But the ache in her heart was still there, as severe and wrenching as ever. She supposed that was because she still loved him as much as ever. It proved one thing; he was wrong, she had not stopped loving him. It had never gone away and if anything had only gotten even more painful as it strengthened. It had never been a passing fancy borne of tragic nerves turning to someone for comfort.

She continued to read, relearning of the curse and the people whom were reincarnated from these two divided lovers. Again and again she read over the words 'The curse of Amendment' but did not understand what it meant. She knew that it had something to do with the other curse that was put on Raya and Nocte and that it had some effect on it, but the details of that curse were not in the book. It bothered her for some reason, though why exactly she didn't know.

She glanced up at the clock and saw that it was now six thirty. If she was going to go through with her plan it would be now.

She picked up the book and grabbed her purse, tightening her resolve. If she left it on his doorstep, he would never know that it was she, right? She snatched her keys off the hook and headed out the door, noticing her mother was still not awake. She shrugged it off as a late night for the both of them. She would call in a few hours and…

She should check on her before she went to work. She knew she was being silly, but a certain fear had gripped her heart that her mother would die and then she would be left alone. Of course, that was silly in itself, she had Sango and her other friends, but the feeling remained. So she started back up the stairs and to the third door on the right. She knocked once lightly.

"Mama?" She slowly opened the door and saw her mother still slept on, her breathing deep and even, her face the quintessence of serene peacefulness. She was curled up in almost a fetal position on her left side, her hair in disarray. Kagome walked forward and gently ran her hands through her mother's black hair, smiling. Her mother stirred but did not awaken. She set the book down on the stand and sat next to her mother, watching her. A saint, a marvelous saint was the gift she had gotten for a mother. She had learned to appreciate her after her brother's death.

"Kagome…?" Her mother's voice caught her off guard. Shoot, she had woken her up.

"Sorry Mama." She said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was just checking in on you before I left. I gotta go to work now. Be home later." She kissed her mother's forehead just as her dark brown eyes fluttered open.

"See you when you get home honey." Kagome smiled and got up, giving her mother one last long glance.

Satisfied, she tiptoed out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her. She rushed back down the stairs and outside, jumping into her car and gunning the engine. She drove off to downtown Newport and stopped in front of Sesshoumaru's house.

It was only then she realized she had left the book in her mother's room and was late for work.

Newport, NH

4:45PM, June 2, 2004

Her car.

A black Ferrari was squealing away from his driveway, the driver checking over her shoulder as if afraid she would be caught. Through his bedroom window he had observed her pulling up, looking around frantically as if sure someone would see her. She had scrambled out of the car; clutching a book to her breast as if it was some valuable treasure she was about to unwillingly give away. She had hesitated at the front steps, reluctantly pulling the book away to stare not at it, but into it as if she could see more then the simple gilt lettered cover. He had fleetingly seen the sheen of wrenching sadness that withered her beautiful eyes as she stepped forward out of his sight and then come back empty handed. Still her innocent eyes were shrouded in emotions so deep they affected the very air around her, making it darken thickly.

She did not have the book. She must have left it on his doorstep, thinking she had delivered it unseen.

And then she had jumped into her car, giving the mansion one final, assessing and deeply disturbing glance before she sped away. Her car glided out of sight before he moved.

A book?

He crossed his room in giant, silent strides and opened his door. Swiftly he marched down the stairs, skipping a stair for every one he took. He crossed the living room to the front hall, pausing briefly before opening the door. He found that his steady hands shook from anticipation he could not altogether write off as curiosity. He swore and opened the door, immediately spying the large cover that sat on the doorstep. The gilt lettering caught his eye and he read the title.

Cursed Love of the Moon and the Sun.

A curse, eh? He wondered seriously what in hell she was thinking when she had set this off on his doorstep. A book on curses, or perhaps just a certain curse. He felt the amusement wash through him, and then disappear just as quickly when a single thought occurred to him.

What if his sweet, innocent Kagome had finally gone off the deep end for real? After all she had been through, the early childhood abuse, the attempted rape, her brother dying. Perhaps it was too much for her delicate mind to deal with. Perhaps she was mentally unstable from all the trauma in her still young life.

Somehow that didn't seem right. Despite her obviously painful childhood, she had persevered fine. Or maybe not, for after all her mind had closed itself off to all those memories in an attempt to protect itself. Then again, he could distinctly remember her racing towards a young boy, intent on saving his life. He could still feel the fear that seized his heart as she rolled away from the truck, the boy in her arms. The truck tires were rolling past her head, barely a foot from it, daring her to move and become its prey.

He shivered. She wasn't really weak, not like him. She had loved and lost, and she did not deaden her heart to the world because of it like he had. She did not cringe when she was alone with a man because of the things her father had done to her, not anymore. She had forgiven him for trespassing on her life and even her heart, letting him know she would still be his friend if he wanted. She was strong beyond belief where he was weakest, where it counted most. She could take blows to her heart, to her mind, and still come out on top. He could not.

He believed she may have loved him, but even if she had, she did not now. Maybe she did not hate him, but love? How could she? It had been many long years and surely she had used her strength to move on.

He reached down for the book and curled his fingers around it. A certain tingle whispered through his fingers he disregarded as nothing as he picked it up. He turned it over, thinking still of the love she must not feel for him.

_LOVE._

The word popped out at him like a beacon, demanding his attention like a preacher would when preaching against Satan. He nearly dropped the book in shock as strange, full-blooded and raw emotion poured into him. His fingers clutched the book hard and he drew it closer to him. _Kagome…_

He could feel the intense love, the pain, the sadness. It screamed at him with that simple word, blaming him for his huge mistake. That damn word pounded in his eardrums, echoing with the others she had said to him, over and over, until he was dizzy.

He blinked as his eyes cleared and the noise stopped, bringing him back to awareness. He hurriedly shut the door and strode into the kitchen, sitting down with a cup of coffee. Only then did he pull the book to him and read the back. This time the word at the top did nothing except the usual things words did, lead him to the next one.

/The dawning of the night, the dying of the day. This is when they meet. A kiss casts a powerful spell they cannot lift. It shall shadow them forever, until they are reunited in love.

Each is the others opposite. Dark and light, sweet and tart, outgoing and withdrawn. They mirror each other so totally that they make one complete entity together. Apart, they are halves seeking to be whole. One accepts, the other cannot.

In the end, time will bring them together. But only they can find their happiness./

For a while he just stared at the back cover of the book, slowly taking in the style of the gilt letters, the age of the book. He absently traced the vines of ivy that framed the words he had just read. The intricate flowers had obviously been done by hand and had taken a very long time. The paper was an old style that had not been used for hundreds of years. The covers of the book were nearly ready to rot with age had it not been well taken care of. There was no way to fabricate this age; time was the only thing that could make something like this be. It was the reason why forgeries could be picked out from a bunch of true objets de art with the right eyes and amount of knowledge. According to his sharp eyes, this was no new book. It was at least a couple hundred years old, at least. There was not a shadow of a doubt in his mind.

What a coincidence that this book would in very many ways mirror his and Kagome's… well, he wouldn't call it a relationship. Interaction? Acquaintance?

He turned the book over and began to read, skimming the pages first and then becoming interested as he did so. Soon he was so engrossed in the book that he did not remember that before he had seen Kagome out the window he was about to go to the bank and cash his check for his company, the very same check that made him a millionaire. He continued to read the book, finding each and every new but familiar fact so disturbing and unreal that he was compelled to read more.

It was only two hours from dusk when he finished the book and set it down, struck beyond comprehensible thoughts or feelings.

North Newport, NH

5:00PM, June 2, 2004

She had done it. The book was sitting on his doorstep right now, waiting to be found and picked up. Surely he would at least look at it before he disposed of it. There seemed to be a great weight that had shifted from her shoulders and lightened her considerably.

She had been anxious all day; rushing around and working her butt off o try and get everything done. Well, she had, and it had only been 2:45. The store didn't close and she could think of nothing to do for the next two hours and fifteen minutes. Sango had noticed and kept telling her to go home. Over and over, until she had literally pushed her out the door and said she could watch the store until closing.

Determined, she had hoped that Sesshoumaru would be at work and she had gone home to get the book, swallowing her pride and fears and going to his house to drop it off. And now it was done.

Her mother came into the hall just as Kagome closed the door and turned around. There was a smile on her face that was almost secretive.

"So, did you give it to him?"

Kagome blushed and pretended ignorance.

"What are talking about? Give what to whom?" She tried to build up her best curious look but her mother's smile almost tore it down.

"The book you came back home to get because you left it in my room. Did you give it to that guy you've been mooning over ever since he went on that road trip with you? I know you fell in love with him. It was more then obvious." The sly smile said millions of other words that Kagome stood shocked at.

"You… you know? You read the book, didn't you? You don't think I'm crazy too, do you? Oh damn, I didn't mean-"

"Of course I don't think your crazy, my silly girl. Your not the only one with magic in your heart, sweetie. Yes I read the book, by the way. I thought it was such a tragic, sad tale. I wonder if you can really end it? Wouldn't it just be grand?" Her mother folded her hands together and got a misty look in her eyes and a slight smile.

"How did you find out about Sesshoumaru?" She whispered softly.

"What dear? I missed that." She seemed to come out of her trance and looked directly into Kagome's eyes again, watching her.

"I said," She reiterated strongly. "How did you find out about Sesshoumaru?"

"I heard from your brother, of course. It did not pass me by that you were very different after the road trip, nor did it escape me that day I saw you watching him walk into a store. Your eyes looked so painful, so filled with tragic love. Did you ever plan to let your own mother in on this little affair?" She did not look angry, merely curious. Kagome swallowed.

"I didn't plan on telling anyone about any of it. Sango found out some of it by interrogating Sesshoumaru. I'm not sure exactly how much she knows. I do know that no one knows about the book, until Sesshoumaru finds it on his front step." She sighed. "Other than that, no one else knows I think. I had originally planned to keep this totally to myself. I didn't want to have to go over the whole thing, to relive it again. It would be too painful." She dropped her eyes and then picked her face back up to her mothers. "Do you really want to know? I mean, the whole story. Do you want to hear it?"

"Of course I do! You're my child, after all. I'm dying to know. I have been watching you, wondering what has been eating its way through your heart. I had short thoughts that maybe he had raped you, but that did not add up quite right. I had hoped that if I waited, you would tell me eventually. But today after I read the book I started to put things together and realized that maybe I should just ask you." She took her daughter's hand and led her down the hall into the kitchen. "I made supper for us, you can tell me while you eat."

Kagome obediently sat down and said nothing when her mother poured her a full glass of wine. She may need it tonight. She served herself and her mother while her mother sat across from her. She picked up her fork, raising it above her food. It drifted back down as she caught her mother's gaze focused intensely on hers. She was waiting.

Slowly she started to tell her story, starting with the early morning four years ago when she had gone into the club, expecting to find Inuyasha there so she could talk to him, only to see he was not available to talk to. Anger laced her voice as she recollected how Inuyasha had been staring at the girl who was leaning towards him, her dark hair curling around her beautiful face. She had watched while he had kissed her gently, this woman with the long ebony hair. And then his eyes had seen her, but she was gone before he could try and explain his way out of this one.

She then told of how she had driven home to tell Souta where she was going before taking off, thinking she was going to just disappear for a few days. But then she ran into Sesshoumaru…

Her voice took on a gentler tone as she carefully went through and remembered every detail of their encounter. She explained every aspect of the day, right down to the fire and passion in their kiss on the ridge. She lovingly described his reaction to it and the sudden bulb that had gone off in her brain at that point. She did not even leave out a single thing from the experience at the hotel. Still her mother listened silently as Kagome recounted the way Sesshoumaru had held her after the rape attempt and the way they had spent that night. Her face clouded with concern as she listened to Kagome's account of what had happened to her when she was younger. She nodded sadly as she remembered the exact occasion she spoke of, seeing her husband taking such gross advantage of his own daughter.

Vaguely she tried to describe how she had felt during the time after the flashback, the time when everything had felt slow and unimportant. How unnatural everything was, the angles, the movement. It was hard and she had trouble finding the right words. It became easier when she remembered how she had just known something bad was going to happen, something really horrible. Her mother's eyes widened as she too went through the panic of thinking that Kagome was going to kill herself trying to save that little boy. Then there was a sigh of relief when she told how that had managed to get her out of that weird, almost catatonic state.

She smiled dreamily, recounting how they had understood each other better after that, going to lunch and then to the beach. She did not even leave out how she had kissed Sesshoumaru in the water. Dinner was explained quickly, and then the hotel. Her mother smiled when she flung her hands about, using dramatics to show how she had ranted about the cost of the room. Kagome stopped a moment, unsure of how to go on. She decided to be a little vague on her descriptions of how drunk she had been. It was easier the drunker she had gotten, she didn't really remember all that much. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment when she quickly spoke of how she had stripped right in front of him and tried to seduce him.

"You did what? My little, sweet Kagome did what?" But her mother was smiling.

Kagome glared. "It doesn't even bother you that something really bad could have happened."

"Well, no. From what you've told me about your young man, he seems to have too much self-respect to take advantage of someone who must have been as drunk as you were."

"My…? He is not my young man, mother. Let me finish the story."

Kagome turned a gentle pink before stuttering on with her story, explaining with an extra glare how he must have put her to bed and then slept on the loveseat. Her mother's knowing eyes made her blush even deeper. Then, of course, came the next morning. She totally skipped the part about getting up naked and went immediately to the point where she had taken a shower and Sesshoumaru was doing the same when the food had come. Her mother narrowed her eyes when she told her about inviting the cute guy in to share her muffin with her. She did not interrupt though.

"I know why I did it. It wasn't to be stupid, or because I was all that attracted to the guy."

Her mother's eyebrows rose. "Oh, really? There was a purpose behind trying to scare the poor man out of his wits?"

"Yes, actually, that was exactly what I wanted to see. I wanted to be sure he cared about me. I didn't know… I wasn't sure if he did. I'm still not totally sure. The way he reacted was unnatural for him, because he's usually so passive in expression; he looks like he's wearing a mask all the time. But he didn't look like that then. He looked like he was ready to kill me, although I could tell it was just because he was worried. I just wanted to make sure I was right, that was all."

"Well, it was a mean way to go at it, girl." Her mother told her sternly. She blew a frustrated sigh.

"But you see, there was no other way, Mama. Sesshoumaru doesn't like to give straight answers when it comes to personal questions about feelings. Or siblings." She recalled. "He would never admit he loved me, even if he did."

"Oh, Kagome. You would have to pick the hardest ones, huh? Poor sweetheart. I'm sure he does love you, honey. He must have his own reasons for not telling you. Perhaps he's had it hard in the past."

A memory hit her full force, the day before she had left for Japan. The words he had said, something about being in the same situation she was in.

'I once believed in love as you do. It got me into trouble as it has you. That is the topic in subject. That is all I will tell.'

His exact words. She could remember them clearly now. Maybe he too had once loved and found the one he loved could not, or would not love him back. Perhaps that was why he closed himself off to the world, so he didn't have to feel the pain everyone else did. Imagine not going through the regret, the longing, the pain, and just feeling only what you wanted to feel. How nice it must be. She couldn't, not even if she wanted to. If she were to give up herself the way Sesshoumaru had, she would end up turning her back on her friends and make everyone hate her. But then, if no one cared about her and she didn't have to care about them, she would not worry about them, or anything else that did not help her.

What a lonely, awful life that must be? How uneventful, cold, hollow… could she ever stand that? No. She could not. Insight told her what Sesshoumaru must be feeling, how he must think, why he acted the way he did. And with it blossomed understanding.

"I think your right, Mama. But let me finish."

And so she did, relating how she had thrown back at Sesshoumaru his feeling she had only suspected at that point, and of course, his now understandable reaction. She smiled ruefully when she told her mother about her declaration of love and his idea of simplifying it down to a stress and 'right place, right time' kind of thing. Her anger was gone now, and she felt only pity as she told her mother how he had rode a train home and she had spent the rest of the time in Boston, where she had gotten the book.

Her mother just stared at her, slightly dazed. Then she nodded. Before she could say a word, there was a loud and demanding knock on the front door.

Kagome glanced at the clock. It was seven twenty. Who would be coming to their door? That did not sound like Sango's firm but gentle knock. It made her think of someone who was strong, and desperate. It was a banging of someone who felt the sudden impulse to get in there or see someone right then.

So when she opened the door and face Sesshoumaru, she was slightly shocked. His appearance was just as clean-cut and perfect as always, but there was a raw edginess, a feeling close to desperation about him. His eyes locked on hers and only when she forced her gaze from his did she notice the book he was holding. Ah damn. He must have seen her. Shit.

"Hello, Kagome. May I speak with you?" His polite, even tones unsettled her. Something wasn't right here.

"Sure." She stepped back and shut the door when he glided over the threshold. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?" She shot over her shoulder as she led the way into the sitting room.

"Yes." His clipped tone told her little. She gave up and sat down in a big fluffy chair. He sat across from her, but did not sit back with his easy grace like he usually did. He was on the edge of the seat, looking like he was getting ready to get up and spring into action. His forearms rested against the top of his thighs and his fingers drummed gently against each other, over and over. Sesshoumaru was not a fidgety person, and yet here he was, looking like he was humming with unstoppable energy. Finally his steely eyes caught a hold of hers.

"She told you, didn't she?"

"What are you talking about? Who told me what?"

His eyes narrowed. "Your too innocent to pull the act, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Your _friend _told you what she knew about me." It was a statement of fact. A false statement.

"She never told me anything. She only told me that she asked you what had happened on the road trip. I never asked her about… well, whatever she used against you."

"And I never offered the information. I prefer to keep my word, Sesshoumaru." Kagome jumped at Sango's voice, but Sesshoumaru merely turned his contemplative, yet burning eyes on her. She seemed to be momentarily thrown by his gaze.

"Sango! What are you doing here?" Kagome managed to make her voice work. Sango smiled her way, ignoring Sesshoumaru's demanding eyes.

"Hi hun. I was driving home and saw his car in your driveway. I stopped and your mother let me in. Sorry to barge in like this, but she said I could come in. I can leave if you want."

"You did not tell her?" Sesshoumaru rose from the couch and stepped toward Sango menacingly. Kagome stood abruptly and flew to his side, not understanding her intention until she wrapped her hand around his arm.

"Do you think I would lie to you?" She said coldly. He blinked in surprise, his eyes glancing briefly at the hand on his upper arm. She clenched her teeth to keep her from moving -or removing- her hand.

"I did not think of it. I do not question your loyalty to the truth. But I do have to question where this book came from. And why my past is written in it as if I lived all those years ago." His eyes probed hers and she tipped her head to the side.

"Your past?" She asked softly.

"Yes. One of the stories in here was identical to mine. Almost, that is. There were some minor details that were missing, and all the names were different, but it was the same nonetheless."

"Huh? What book?" Sango was peering at them curiously. Kagome reluctantly removed her hand from Sesshoumaru warm, muscular arm and reached back to the table to pick the book up and hand it to Sango. Sesshoumaru's gaze shuttered and he looked as though he would have liked to snatch it back, but he didn't. Sango read the title, the back, and the inside cover before she handed it back to Kagome, looking perplexed.

"Do you really believe in that curse? I mean, do you think…" She didn't finish her sentence, her gaze flicking from Sesshoumaru to Kagome. Kagome laughed softly, thinking to herself that right now that was the million-dollar question.

"Well, the thing is, I'm not sure. I know its nuts, I know it seems impossible, but it makes so much sense, to me anyway." She glanced at Sesshoumaru before directing her eyes back at the ground.

"I think your right, Kagome." Kagome brought her gaze up sharply to meet Sango's and saw she was totally serious. She smiled softly in thanks and got a return smile, silent communication that told her Sango would always be on her side, for better or for worst.

"Your both lunatics." Sesshoumaru's low, cold voice snapped their attention to him. His voice was barely hiding his raging emotion. "You have both lost it. A curse? A curse to cause us misfortune until we admit love for each other?" He glared at both of them, anger in his gaze.

"Bullshit."

"Look, I know you're a realistic kind of guy, but it makes sense. I mean, you had the misfortune of loving someone who you found out your father had been having an affair with. It must have hurt a lot to have been played like that, but look at the facts. Beside both of your lives being full of pain, there's also that remarkable similarity about opposites. I mean, if anyone were more opposite then you two, they would have had to be different species!" Sango was watching Sesshoumaru very carefully for his reaction. She took as step back when she saw absolute rage in his eyes. Even Kagome was shocked by the full-blooded anger and loss reflected clearly behind his translucent depths.

"Sesshoumaru…" she started to say.

"DARE you to mention my past, it is unforgivable. I had your word you would not mention it if I told you what happened on the road trip. Your have broken your word, you bitch." He was shaking.

Anger flared, clear and tangible, in Kagome.

"You have the nerve to call her a bitch after what you did to me?" She whirled so she was in front of Sesshoumaru, fire cackling in her. "You stomped on my heart, squished it into the ground, told me that I didn't know what I felt, and then turned your back like you felt nothing for me! Your past was hard, granted, but that does not give you the right to lash out at anyone and everyone just because you got hurt once!" She took a large breath and let it out.

"Don't you remember the day before I left for Japan? Don't you remember what you said? That my situation was similar to yours? Doesn't that mean my pain is similar to yours? Did that ever occur to you? After the pain you had gone through, you were doing the same to someone else, except you don't have an excuse." His shocked look only drove her words on. But he fired back at her before she could continue.

"Do you call playing with someone an excuse? Purposefully using them, just to drive their family apart? It goes under the things you label 'excuses'?" He had turned his rage onto her instead of Sango.

"No, but that doesn't give you the right to do it as well. Unless that was what you intended. Which reminds me," She let a smile play on her face when his anger turned once again to surprise. "You were wrong. You must remember when I told you I loved you and you said it was not real and would not last?" She did not wait for an answer. "Well, how is lasting four years for you? Do you think it's going to fade anytime now? Do you think it's all from stress now?" She knocked herself on the head lightly. "Oh, duh, it must be the real thing. Huh, I never would have guessed." Her voice dripped sarcasm.

Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered through so many emotions at once she couldn't keep up. She thought she saw relief, regret, and a whole myriad of other things, but it was just too fast. Then, without a word, he strode to Sango, plucking the book out of her hands and departing from the room without a backwards glance. He slammed the door shut and Kagome stood still, her eyes clenched shut. She heard him start his car and roar away, his tires squealing. Her mind rolled and boiled and many ideas rolled through her mind.

"Kagome, I'm sorry about that…"

"Its not your fault." She hadn't realized her teeth were grinding against each other until she tried to talk and found they were clenched tightly together.

"Well, aren't you going to go after him?" Her mother's voice caught her off guard and her eyes shot open. Her mother was lounging in the doorway to the hallway, staring at her intently.

"Go after him?" She echoed. She wasn't about to admit she had seriously been considering it. And say what? She thought.

"Honey, you love him. And I know love when I see it, and he certainly does love you, no matter what he tries to pretend. If you don't go after him now, you may not ever be able to love anybody else. What a waste that will be, if your love was wasted on someone who is just too hurt to admit his love without some prodding." Her mother crossed the space from the hallway to the middle of the room where Kagome stood.

"She's right, you know. I really don't like it," Sango admitted. "But if you love him that much, and he does love you, then you'll never be happy without him." She laughed suddenly. "Ya know, when he told me about you guys, I told him that I knew he was in love with you, and he got so angry. I told him that I would never let him have you because of how much he had already hurt you, and here I am today telling you to go after him and risk your heart again." She came to stand next to Kagome's mother. "But I don't want you to live you're the rest of your life like this, just working and working and pretending you don't hurt. You have to go after him."

"My god, it's the persuasive crew." Kagome tried for some humor but no one laughed. She sighed. "I don't know. I just don't think it will do any good. I mean, what can I do, what can I say, to make him understand?" She felt her mother take her hand a give it a soft squeeze. Warmth and love filled her for the two people standing in front of her, her best friend and her mother. She threw her arms around her mother and then Sango in turn, smiling at both of them. She knew at that moment that she was going to try, one last time. It might not help any, but she was sure as hell going to give it her best shot.

"Thanks guys." She gave them both a one-armed hug and then dashed into the kitchen to get her car keys.

END.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Dusk is the Time

Jaffrey, NH. Mt. Monadnock.

7:25PM, June 2, 2004

It had only taken him a little over an hour to make the hour and a half drive. He openly admitted to a little bit of speeding, perhaps more then a little bit. He couldn't recall exactly how fast he had been going, because his mind had been focused on one thing: getting away from her.

Dammit, she still loved him! He had been wrong, he had seen her all wrong, and now he was the one suffering for it. His weaknesses kept catching up with him, one after another. Mistakes could be fatal, mistakes on judgment, including how he had judged her. Which he had no right to do in the first place. She was beyond him, beyond anything he had every imagined. Her loyalty in her belief in love had lasted her through four agonizing years; the same four years he had let slip by him without blinking.

He watched as the sun slowly approached the horizon, moving, although you could not see the movement. But, in fact, just like many things, it was an illusion. It was not the sun that moved at all, but the planet on which he stood that turned its back on the sun for a little while. The glowing ball of fire had not yet touched the earth; it was still holding its own, staying above the horizon for as long as it could. It golden rays touched his face, but did not warm him. The only thing that could ever warm him was freedom, a freedom he could not allow himself to permit. And of course, with freedom would come Kagome's warm arms around him, claiming him in the same way he wished to claim her.

But he would not have her. He did not deserve her, not at all. He had been forced to leave the room when she had admitted she still loved him, because his whole being shouted for the freedom it craved. His very soul screamed to take her and tell her the same she had told him, to admit it to himself and to her and to anyone else who happened to hear. For a stunning moment, he had almost done that, he had almost taken her in his arms and promised her all of the things she deserved from a man much better then him. But then his common sense had prevailed and he had wrenched himself from the idea by taking the book and fleeing her as fast as he could.

He did not know how he had ended up here. He had not meant to come here, but at least it was improbable she would follow him here. Not that she would follow him here anyway. She was probably so angry with him that she hoped to never see him, talk to him again. And her friend Sango would definitely be doing everything she could to stop her from going after him if she had any inclinations to.

Why would she follow him anyway? To yell at him some more about what he had done to her? To complete his guilt in the matter? Perhaps she would try to take back what she had said about loving him.

And yet, when surprisingly he recognized the black Ferrari coming up the winding road twenty minutes later, it was not a sinking in his heart that he felt.

No, the goddamned hope soared so surely in his chest he nearly stopped breathing. Perhaps he did and that was why he was so lightheaded and was shaking so badly. It sure as hell would explain quite a lot.

Maybe she was just an illusion. Maybe he was the one who was losing it.

But illusions didn't walk like she did; they didn't look nearly so worried or so goddamned real. Maybe she really had followed him to complete her tirade. If so, he would deal with it, because he knew he sure as hell deserved it!

Same place, twenty minutes before sunset.

His eyes were so shocked; she never knew he could be so…

Emotional?

She could see the pain in his eyes, the denial, and the resignation. She wondered what he was thinking; maybe he questioned what he owed this visit from her to. Was he angry because she had followed him? There was anger in the hard lines of his face, but somehow she didn't think it was directed at her, but only at himself. Blame, that was the other emotion she could see swelling within his gaze, but once again it wasn't for her.

Thank god she had guessed right. When she had gone to his house and found that was not that place he had fled to… she could still feel the hopelessness that tried to eat her heart. But he was here, she had been right in assuming he would be driven here as she had been.

She got out of the parked car quickly, not bothering to remove the keys. She tried to walk steadily toward him, but she stopped dead when he spoke.

"Why did you follow me?" There was no accusation, no anger, not even curiosity. His voice was low and so even it seemed toneless. A jumble of thoughts seem to organize themselves in her mind and she realized he did want her, he did feel something for her. He still didn't want her to know, didn't want to face those feelings and accept them openly. If he couldn't even allow himself to love her, how could he ever allow her to know?

She almost let her fear and better judgment take over her mind at that point. But her courage reasserted itself aggressively. She would not run home now, she couldn't turn away now. She would make him see; make him understand how she felt and how she wanted him to feel. She would make him see that she _knew _what he felt.

"Why do you think I followed you?" She returned quietly. His eyes flashed with rage she knew was just below the surface.

"How the hell am I supposed to know? My best guess is that you came up here to declare yourself thoroughly hurt and wronged and to expect me to come up with some sort of answer I haven't got." He said clipped, tightly, holding back what he really wanted to say.

"But you do have all the answers, Sesshoumaru. You just refuse to see them." She fired back, her voice still soft. He glared at her, but something made him pop off a question she knew he didn't mean to ask her.

"Do you really still love me?" Immediately he looked like he wanted to take it back. Yet his bright, burning eyes pleaded for it to be the truth.

Her feet decided they were shortening the space between them, no matter what she told them to do. Suddenly she was right in front of him, her hand lifting to touch his face gently. She could not control herself, and then she didn't want to. She saw the clear pain in his eyes, the hope.

"Don't you see it in my eyes? Can't you tell from the things I've said? Or the things I've done?" She cried, but her voice was still soft. She watched him for a reaction, seeing the lean, smooth lines of his face of his face work to keep his expression neutral. It did not work. There was a softness in his eyes, in his mouth, his jaw, that told her millions of words he did not speak.

"I still love you. I'll always love you." Her thumb caressed the side of his face, enjoying touching him again. She tipped her head slightly. "And I think you love me too."

"How could you?" Hoarsely, his words broken, his eyes pleading, he framed her face roughly with his hands. Before she could try and understand, he was speaking again. "How could you make me love you? I swore… I promised myself I would not do that to myself again. I did not want to relive that pain. And yet, here I am, tearing myself apart because of you. Why? Why does this have to happen?" The words seemed to pour out of him before he could stop them.

And suddenly she did understand.

"Sesshoumaru, this is not the same as what happened to you before. I know what happened, I understand."

"No, you can't possibly. I never knew that my brother was only my half brother, not until that day she brought us together and told each of us what was going on. I never knew she was fucking my father as well. I gave my heart to her, just to have it ripped out when she revealed her plot to us. My father couldn't believe it; he turned to me for confirmation, when I was doing the same to him. And the whole time while she watched our family destroy itself, our hearts shatter, she smiled." He snarled. "_She smiled."_ He repeated, the hatred and self-loathing deep in his tone. "If only I could have seen what she was doing, but she fooled me. I swore I would never be the fool again. And in the process, I made you the fool instead and made myself an even bigger fool. A weak fool."

"She was Inuyasha's mother? Your father had an affair? And then she tried to seduce you as well… what a horrid woman."

"She didn't just try." He snarled. "She succeeded. The whore made me think she loved me and wanted me. All she really wanted was revenge on my father for ending the affair and taking her child. She used me."

"I do understand, Sesshoumaru. I know what it feels like to be used, to be suffering such pain." She reminded him gently. He gaze, which had been directed over her shoulder, now locked on hers. His fingers wound into her hair and he gently tipped her head back even more bending until their faces were inches apart.

"I did the same to you, and you still forgive me?" She nodded slightly. "You would still have me, despite what I have done to you?" Again she nodded, not wanting to speak and break this spell that had made the words flow from Sesshoumaru's mouth. And then, suddenly, the spell was broken and his slipped his fingers from her hair, pulling back away from her. His expression closed off again and she nearly screamed.

"NO! Please…"

"I don't deserve your love." He moved back another step from her. "I don't deserve you." She panicked, feeling as though if she didn't do something, the moment would be lost. She would lose him, and the thought of that sent her pelting desperately into his chest.

"No, I won't let you do this. I won't let you!" She cried into his chest. She felt his hand on her waist, trying to push her away, but her arms locked around his chest. She held him as tightly as she could, her face buried in the cotton shirt he wore.

"Kagome…"

"I won't let you hurt like this." She interrupted savagely. "I won't let you hurt me like this. I don't care if you think you don't deserve me. I don't care what happened before. I'm selfish as all hell and goddammit I won't let you go!" She screamed into his chest. His hand on her waist stilled, his whole body seemed to go completely and utterly motionless.

"I can't stand the thought of seeing you on the street and not being able to smile at you. I can't even deal with the thought of living alone because you don't think you deserve me! I want you, I want everything, I want to talk to you about the bookstore, I want to see you across the dinner table and hear about what happened during the day for you, I want you to hold me at night and make all my worries disappear as we make love." She turned her face up to look into his eyes. "I won't settle for less knowing I could have had all of that!"

When she unwrapped one hand from his chest to slip it around his neck, she found he was as pliable as silk. She pulled him down and lifted her face to meet his lips, fury washing through her. The fury seemed to ignite something else as she found his lips just as sweet and soft as before. His hand slipped around to her back and he held her hard against him, giving in with a groan. The other hand buried itself in her hair and he yanked it back, bending her backwards at an impossible angle before turning his head and kissing her deeply. She accepted him, welcoming him home as she opened her mouth and let his tongue plunder her mouth. Her body melted into his, fit against his like two pieces of a puzzle.

This was what she wanted. This and so much more.

She pulled back and locked her hands around his neck, keeping her eyes firmly on his. She did not say a word, but let her eyes tell all. All of the sudden he lifted her off of her feet and swung her legs up into his arms. She tried to protest but he heatedly covered her mouth with his when she did, effectively shutting her up. When they got to the grass on the edge of the parking lot he lowered himself to the ground, sitting with his back to a boulder and her across his lap. For a moment he just stared at her, his eyes shining with deep emotion. She smiled tentatively at him, hoping, pleading…

"You pain in my ass. I give up. I can't fight you anymore. But," She almost shriveled in the moment when he paused, afraid of what he was going to say. She braced herself for the rejection she was sure was coming now.

"But, I will not ask you to marry me." He grinned as she frowned and opened her mouth to protest. He lifted a finger to her lips and the protest died on her lips as she saw the slight smile on his face. She couldn't look away. She hadn't seen him smile many times, and now that she had, she wished he would smile like that, just for her. It lifted the coldness from his face, warmed his features so much she found she wanted to touch them and make sure they were really his.

"Not yet, anyway. I will be a proper gentleman and court you first, of course." He had an amused glint in his eyes and she smiled.

"Bullshit, Mr. Proper. I've waited four years for you. So, when can I move in?" She smiled sweetly and he chuckled. He pulled her up but instead of kissing her he just held her tightly to his chest, as if afraid he would lose her. She clung to him like he was her life-saving raft in the middle of an ocean. His breath when he spoke tickled her ear and she pressed her whole body even closer to his.

"Damn, your right." He arms convulsively flexed around her before he continued, his voice low and husky. "To hell with proper, how does tonight sound?"

She giggled and then composed her face, pulling away from him enough to look into his eyes, searching them for any hint of doubt. When she found none she smiled back at him playfully. "Tonight sounds absolutely perfect."

In the dark orange, gold, purple and pink rays of the sun, they kissed a kiss of gentle acceptance. Suddenly, Kagome got up and stared around, looking anxious. Sesshoumaru followed her, doubt shadowing his eyes. He was afraid she had changed her mind after all. That was, until he realized that the whole setting was very familiar. He stared around, blinking, trying to place it…

"My dream." Kagome whispered. "This is just like my dream." She whirled around to face him. "Your were standing right where you are, and I was standing just here, and the book… I just remembered the book. Stay there." She ran towards his car and he was about to go after her but something told him to stay where he was. And then he realized that this was so very familiar because he had also dreamed of this, the colors, the way the trees bent with the wind, the sun halfway gone over the horizon. Kagome was wearing the same dress she had in the dream, but he had never seen that dress before today. How had he dreamed of that dress if he had never seen it before? The same blue, long and flowing, with high slits up to her thighs.

What the hell was going on here? Maybe they were both losing it.

Perhaps she had led him on the same way Inuyasha's mother had, maybe she was getting out of here to complete her revenge. He felt the anger, and the awful pain inflate in his chest and swallowed. He watched her open the passenger side door to his car and had hope. A nice view of her rear end had his eyes pinned to her as she leaned into the car, searching for the book. It was in the backseat, and when she emerged from the car, she held it in her hand like a trophy. She started to rush back towards him but slowed down when she saw the intensity of his gaze. He saw a blush darken her cheeks and he nearly chuckled at the shy invitation in her eyes.

The thought of being able to accept that invitation nearly sent him for her, but he restrained himself. He watched her approach carefully; noting how her hips seemed to swing more when she knew he was watching, how her strides slowed and her eyelashes lowered some. He loved the way she smiled just for him, telling him that she was his. There was also possessiveness in her eyes he appreciated. She had claimed him the way he had claimed her.

Finally she seemed to remember what she had been doing and she hurried toward him, smiling as she walked right past him. He turned and watched as she set the book down on the boulder. As soon as she set it down the wind blew it open. Kagome turned her back on the rock. And Sesshoumaru experienced a deep dizzying sensation of De-ja-vu. The world seemed to tip as he noted each and every detail that corresponded with his dream, each and every thing that was exactly the same, even the feelings he was experiencing. He felt like he had been lifted free of the ground and allowed to fly, and yet there was something that was troubling him. When he thought about Kagome he felt profoundly relieved and extraordinarily happy.

Kagome stared at Sesshoumaru, slightly dazed. She felt just like in the dream; light, airy, and yet impossibly strong and certain. She slowly made her way to him, until she was standing hardly an inch from him, their clothes brushing each other in the slight wind. She smiled at him and he arched a brow and grinned.

"A dream, eh?" He said, his voice low, his eyes obviously questioning. She smiled back.

"Humor me and go with it." The grin fell from his face and he groaned, bringing their faces inches apart.

"You asked for it." He slipped his arms around her and lowered his mouth to hers. The heat between them seemed to flare with twice the life as usual and he pulled her hard against him. She gasped and felt her body melt into his as their mouths melded together. His tongue danced over hers and she thrust her tongue into his mouth in return. One of his hands slid up to the back of her neck to deepen the kiss.

The wind around them picked up and howled. The pages of the book turned back and forth as the wind changed direction over and over. The two in their steamy embrace did not notice any of it, even as their clothes whipped wildly on their bodies and Kagome's dress lifted itself around her thighs and wrapped around the both of them.

Kagome desperately tightened her arms around Sesshoumaru, urging him to drink more from her, to take more and allow her to give more. And he did, his hands sliding up and down her body, hot tingles following the path his hands forged over her heated skin. She felt something tug insistently at her, pulling her away from him, telling her to step back for just a moment. Annoyed, she tried to ignore it, but she felt her hands sliding from Sesshoumaru's neck and then he was being pulled away from her, looking angry and slightly afraid. Finally it dawned on her what was happening, and she saw the same comprehension on his face. They exchange a look, a look that explained what each was thinking.

_The curse was real. _

She stopped fighting the pull on her being and found herself on her feet right beside Sesshoumaru, facing the setting sun. The wind materialized in front of her, turning into two beings, two forms. The same ones she had seen in her dream, replica's of her and Sesshoumaru. The wind slowly died and Kagome was surprised that there was a difference this time. They both were clothed in some extraordinary material that seemed to be so flimsy and yet she was not able to see through it. It was similar to but yet was not fine silk, or any other material she knew of.

The black haired woman, her eyes closed, her hair and dress fluttering wildly around her, was to the right of the silver haired man, who was also being effected in such a way by the wind around them. And then, everything was still once more, the book on the rock, the trees, everything except the two figures. They seemed to be moving even though they stood totally still.

"Who are you?" Sesshoumaru demanded, sounding uncertain. One of his arms had slid around her waist in protectiveness and she smiled at the gesture.

"Sesshoumaru! Didn't you read the book?" She poked him in the ribs and was surprised when he gave way a little before shooting her a look. She nearly laughed. He was ticklish!

There were more important things to do right now then find out how ticklish Sesshoumaru was. She turned back to face the two entities that were definitely not human.

"Are you the ones in the book?" She gestured to it with her right hand. The woman smiled brilliantly and nodded.

"Yes, and it is thanks to you and your young, fine gentleman and that we are finally free." She turned her eyes onto the man next to her, her adoration for him obvious. He was returning her look, though there was no smile on his face. The beautiful woman reached her hand up and lightly caressed the side of the man's face before slipping her hand around his waist and turning back to them. Kagome almost laughed when she saw the man, she supposed his name must be Nocte, slide his arm around the woman's waist in the same possessive way Sesshoumaru did.

"So you are Raya of the Sun Family, and you are Nocte of the Moon family. I believe that I am properly chastised." Sesshoumaru glanced at Kagome with a slightly apologetic look. She smiled in return and leaned her head against his shoulder, just because she could.

"You are correct." Nocte answered. "We are deeply indebted to you for freeing us, and I believe we have decided upon a gift to give you for all of your hardships." He glanced at Raya who nodded.

"Brother, you don't even know the half of it. Talk about hardships." Kagome grinned and rolled her eyes. Nocte frowned but Raya smiled with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah, actually, we do know. We were with you, all the time actually."

Kagome felt Sesshoumaru bristle.

"So you have been there during every moment? You know every single event in our lives?" Sesshoumaru looked slightly startled and even more so disgusted and angered by this.

"Yes." Nocte answered, his voice just as dangerously low pitched as Sesshoumaru's. "We have. Since the time you were born, if you read the book. We were born with you. It is not something we had a choice in." Nocte's voice was sharp and accusing. The two men glared at each other, both looking ready to grab the other's throat. Kagome grinned at Raya, and Raya back at her. They broke into a fit of laughter.

"Excuse me?" Nocte didn't seem o see what was so funny. Neither did Sesshoumaru. Kagome managed to sputter in an undignified way.

"Both of you… your so alike." Chuckle. "You both are so freaking stupid and compulsive and," She sputtered and the men glared at her. "And you both get so angry about the stupidest things! I mean… come on!" She shook her head and tried to stop laughing. Sesshoumaru and Nocte were both watching them with disgusted looks that almost sent them off again.

Finally Kagome and Raya managed to compose themselves. Immediately Kagome thought of a question.

"Hey, how come it doesn't say anything in the book about the two of you being freed? Because, well, if we are incarnated from you guys, then we would get your souls, right? So how are you here?"

There was silence for a moment.

"Didn't you read about the spell of Amendment?" Nocte finally asked. Sesshoumaru shook his head but Kagome's eyes brightened.

"Oh yeah, I remember seeing a couple of references to it. But there was no explanation of it, so I had no idea what it was. What does it have to do with it?" Slowly, her eyes widened. "Wait, was there some sort of counter curse or something? Like, a spell that changed the originally spell some? An amendment to it." Raya was smiling and Nocte was nodding slowly. Sesshoumaru had turned his sharp eyes on her, studying her and analyzing every word she said.

"Nocte's father had also gotten wind of our relationship and had come to confront us about it that same evening. But unlike my authoritarian mother, he was willing to accept it. He got there just as my mother was finishing with her spell. Immediately he understood what had happened and he performed a quick counter-curse. He could not undo my mother's curse, but he could alter it enough to allow us our own happiness if the curse were broken. Instead of being reincarnated into the bodies, we were to watch over them. We could do nothing except watch, and hope." Raya had a small, sad smile on her lips, but her eyes were troubled.

"I see." Sesshoumaru said, his arms tightening around Kagome. He was slowly accepting the fact that they could not help having been witness to his private life, his secrets. Kagome turned her head to smile up at him, but his gaze stayed focused on Nocte.

"Et-hem." Raya was watching Nocte. He gave her a quelling look, but she elbowed his ribs lightly and raised her eyebrows. "The gift?"

"Yes, the gift." Nocte replied tiredly, shutting his eyes and holding out his hands. They were glowing within seconds. "The gift of giving shall be yours. We will be there if ever you implore. Our powers are ours to share. You may use them, if you dare." His eyes flicked open, glowing briefly amber, and then the glow lessened until he was back to his earlier state.

"As I will, so mote it be." Raya said out of the side of her mouth. Nocte glared at her.

"What?" Kagome asked, looking slightly confused.

"Raya has a habit of using the end to a Wicca spell. It does nothing; she just likes to say it." Nocte said. Raya glared at him, but then shrugged.

"Yeah, well." She smiled.

Sesshoumaru cleared his throat. "This spell, it is the gift? To what purpose does it serve?"

"Ever hear the saying 'Never look a gift horse in the mouth?" Kagome asked.

"What good is a gift, if you do not know what to do with it?" he retorted. She nodded.

"You know, you're right." She turned to Raya and Nocte. "May we know more of your gift?" She asked.

Raya laughed. "But of course!" She produced a beautiful jewel from absolutely nowhere. It was strung on a silvery cord, which she lifted over Kagome's neck. "This is the Jewel of Four Souls. If you call upon this jewel in times of need, Nocte and I will assist you in any way we can." She glanced at all of them. "Our souls, all four of our souls, are tied to this jewel. Care for it well." She stepped back, taking Nocte's arm. They seemed less substancial then they had a moment ago. They were slowly fading.

"Wait! Please!" Kagome reached toward her counterpart, but her finger brushed through warm air. Raya was smiling, and Nocte's face was peaceful.

"We shall be near, if you are ever in dire need of us."

And then the wind came back full force and shattered their image into a million little pieces to sparkle on the air for a moment. Then they were gone.

Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru.

"So, shall we go down and tell them? My mother would love to know that the curse really was real." She stared up into his eyes. It was still a bit surprising when he pulled her close.

"I've a better idea. Lets take our cars back to my house first." He said huskily in her ear. She pulled back to see the look in his eyes.

And smiled. "Yes. Lets."

North Newport, NH

10AM June 3rd, 2004

"Ready?" Kagome asked. They were parked in front of Kagome's house, about to go inside. Sango's car was still in the driveway. Kagome was tired beyond belief, having stayed up half the night alternately making love, and making small talk and futuristic plans.

She could feel unease wafting off of Sesshoumaru. It was understandable. He hadn't done anything redeemable in her mother's eyes yet, and in fact had kept her daughter out all night. And Sango… Well, Sango was a little protective.

Sesshoumaru nodded curtly and grabbed the door handle to open it. Kagome grabbed his shirt on impulse and pulled him back across the seat for a breif, heated kiss. She smiled and let him go.

"Don't worry." She said and slipped out of the car. Sesshoumaru was beside her in seconds, his arm around her waist and his face down in her hair.

"I'll get you back for that later." He promised, his breath tickling her ear.

"I thought payback was a bitch?" She joked lightly.

"No." He said, his voice low. "Its just satistfying."

Kagome was blushing pink as she opened the door. There was a loud thump and quickly padding feet heard. Before she had gotten the door closed behind them Sango and her mother were gliding into the room. Her mother looked as serene and peaceful as always, but Sango was glowering.

"If you guys went and eloped or something, I'm going to be seriously pissed. I've been planning out how I'm going to talk you both into this fabulous wedding and Dammit if we did all that planning for nothing-" She stopped because Kagome was laughing too hard.

"Of course I couldn't have my wedding without you as my bridesmaid, Sango." She said and hugged her best friend. Sango hugged her back, but drew away frist.

"You know, you should have called and said you weren't coming home." She reprimanded Kagome like she was still a teenmager and not a capable adult. Kagome just laughed.

"Sorry Sango."

Kagome's mom beckoned them into the living room, plying Kagome and Sesshoumaru with drinks and biscuits. When they were all settled, Kagome began recounting what happened up on the mountain. Sesshoumaru sat back and just listened to the sweet dulcets of her voice.

She finished the story and then launched right into an explanation of where they were last night, leaving out certain parts, but explaining her idea to go and live with Sesshoumaru after he kicked Inuyasha out.

Sango stopped them. "Oh, no. If you kick Inuyasha out, the first place he'll go is to my house, and that slob is not living with me!" She declared. Sesshoumaru sat forward to speak.

"Our inheritance is lucrative enough that Inuyasha can easily afford his own apartment for quite a while." He said, and sniffed. "Knowing that whelp, it will be gone far too quickly, which is why I am going to offer to help him buy a home." He sat back again comfortably. "I can afford it, I sold my computer business for a hefty sum." He had an arrogant smile touching the corners of his lips as he locked eyes with his future mother-in-law. "You and your daughter will want for nothing." He pronounced with pride.

Kagome hit him in the arm. "You say that like I'm just going to roll over and let you take care of me." She glared at him. "I'm still going to run the bookstore, you know."

He frowned. "It is not necessary. The amount of-"

Kagome interrupted him forcefully. "Necessity is not the issue! I made that bookstore, and my plans for it will not change regardless of what happens in the rest of my life!" She said, indignation touching upon her voice.

Sesshoumaru stared hard at her for a moment. "My lady, if that is your wish, then let it be so. But perhaps a helpful investor will get your bookstore a little more profitabilty?" He asked.

Kagome smiled. "Done."

Sango cleared her throat.

"Sorry!" Kagome turned to her friend. "Of course, it has to be alright with my partner…"

"Its fine." Sango said. Then her face slip into an excited grin.

"So whens the wedding!"

Okay, I know the ending was sloppy and hurried, but at least I'm finally adding the ending, right?

Just got the epilogue left, guys!

Riasha


	12. Epilogue

Epilogue: Uncursed

West Lebanon, NH

June 10th, 2004, 8:25PM

Kagome had always liked to show off her legs. She liked short skirts and dressed. The dress she wore tonight was a shiney emerald green cocktail dress. It had a square cut in the front and fitted tightly to her upper body. The skirt ended high on her left thigh, and rippled down to her right knee. There were real emerald studs in her ears that Sesshoumaru had bought her just that day. They had sized her for a matching ring (which she adamantly said she could not possibly need) but the ring they had on hand was just too big. It had to be resized. Kagome's hair was piled on top of her head with tendrils trailing down the sides and the back.

Sesshoumaru sat across from her, looking scrumptious in a black button up, collared shirt with discreet diamond cufflinks to go on large, stiff cuffs. He had made the reservations at this expensive restaurant, though Kagome would have been just as happy at the small town diner in Newport. But Sesshoumaru had insisted on the earrings, and the ring, and the restaurant. And whenever she gave in he would smile ever so gently at her, his mouth crooking slightly. It always made her want to kiss him.

And usually she did.

"Did you enjoy your dinner?" She asked Sesshoumaru. They had finished the meal and were awaiting their desserts.

"I dearly enjoyed watching you enjoy yours. And that is what I came for." He answered.

Kagome blushed lightly. "That's not what I asked!" But then she laughed.

The waiter set down a small plate of chocolate covered brownies. Caramel was swirled all over it and there was a large piece of caramel right on the top.

Kagome salivated and grabbed her spoon, taking a big bite. Sesshoumaru took a few bites and then scooped up the piece of caramel. He offered it to Kagome. She opened her mouth to eat it off of his spoon.

"Careful. Caramel is such a sticky sweet. It will get stuck in your teeth." There was a quiet smile on her face, but Kagome wasn't noticing. Her teeth had hit something hard in the piece of caramel.

"Ugh." She spit it into a napkin. "What the hell did the-" And she stopped as her eyes finally recognized the thing she had spit out. "Oh, my god." She whispered.

Sesshoumaru picked up his napkin and stood up. He came around to Kagome's side of the table and kneeled next to it on one knee. He gently plucked the spit-covered ring out of her hands. He cleaned it off with his napkin and held it up for her to look at. It was a large diamond ring, with a golden band. The cut was elegant and flashed every color in the room in its facets. Kagome was staring at the beautiful ring, but her eyes jerked up at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice.

"Kagome, you have shown me that I can have true happiness in my life. I desperately wish to keep it. But to keep it, I must keep you. Will you allow me to keep you?" Sesshoumaru's voice was so quiet, his face stoic and unemotional. Blank.

"You're… proposing?" Kagome's voice squeaked. He nodded once, curt. His body was still, but it vibrated tenseness.

Kagome looked into those blank eyes and knew she would give every moment of every day to keep that guarded look out of those beautiful amber eyes. She would make sure he would never have to protect himself from being hurt by another, because she would make sure he was happy for the rest of his life. And so she gave her answer without hesitating.

"WELL DUH! But only if I get to keep you too!" She said, smiling brightly.

Sesshoumaru's body drained of tension and a smile slowly grew on his face, filling his eyes with warmth. He took her hands and pulled her onto her feet. He took her hand and gently slipped the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly. Because, of course Kagome hadn't really needed an emerald ring!

Kagome stared down at the vibrantly flashing ring for a short moment before throwing herself into Sesshoumaru's arms. She kissed him hard and then hugged him, reveling in the feeling of his arms holding her closely.

"I love you." She whispered in his ear.

Sesshoumaru kissed her neck gently and pulled back to search her eyes. Whatever he saw there must have reassured him because a soft smile touched the corners of his lips.

"And I love _you._" He said, announcing each word lowly and carefully.

Kagome's heart felt like it was about to burst right out of her chest. It was pressure inside of her chest just this side of pain. She couldn't stop smiling for the life of her and a tear trailing down her cheek accompanied a small, happy sob.

"Oh, Sesshoumaru. I'm so happy!" And again she kissed him.

When they pulled back Sesshoumaru brushed the tears from her cheek.

"And you, my dear Kagome, have made me so very happy as well." He told her. He stared into her eyes for many moments, holding her hands in his.

Finally he broke the silence. "Let us go and break this news to your mother."

And so Sesshoumaru laid a one hundred dollar bill on the table and the left the restaurant, holding each other. They were a perfect sight, a perfect happiness.

A perfect love.

A perfect whole.

END! FINITO!

Riasha

Email: please do not ask for more chapters. This is the end. For real.


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